Simon Cowell on Britney Spears: “She Couldn’t Talk”

Britney SpearsWhile I appreciate honestly, I’m not certain this was necessary. When asked by Ellen DeGeneres about Britney Spears, Cowell confessed to nixing her contract, saying, “I didn’t realize that. I kind of booked someone who couldn’t talk, which is a bit of a problem when you want someone to judge.” He went on to explain that Spears was generally uncomfortable with the entire process, disliking the overall negativity associated with the talent competition. I supposed there’s a lesson to be learned here. Perhaps producers should focus less on stunt casting and more on judging. And since The Voice, X Factor, and American Idol have yet to produce a huge star in years, it’s also possible the format is dying.

Playback Kills It With “Rich Girl” — Will Simon Cowell Win X Factor?

This group astounded me, and I hate boy bands. You can see Simon Cowell smirking during their performance at all the money he’s about to make while simultaneously patting himself on the back for being a genius. As for Marc Anthony’s disinterest, all I can say is he’s a performer and not an A&R executive — and it shows. Watch their performance below.

Khloe Kardashian to Host X Factor? Is Simon Cowell Desperate?

I like Khloe Kardashian, so I can’t figure out why the possibility of her hosting X Factor is so bothersome. In short, it feels desperate, and it’s extremely unsettling to associate Simon Cowell with the word “desperate.” It’s as if he sat around and methodically tried to hit his ratings mark in every genre. Young person demographic? Check (Demi Lovato)! Huge pop-star on a career down-slide? Check (Britney Spears)! Reality star that people love to hate? Check (Khloe Kardashian)! There was a time when Simon Cowell felt authentic, when he stood for an unwavering favor of quality, when he acknowledged the public’s desire, but didn’t pander to it. Has the guy gone soft?

Britney Spears & Demi Lovato Join X Factor — Teeny-Boppers Rejoice!

Simon Cowell won’t go down without a fight. He got the best in the business to sit on his panel, and he brutally fired the previous panel because they didn’t bring the goods. With the addition of Britney Spears’ fan-base and Demi Lovato’s young audience, it’s a guaranteed ratings win. Good job, Simon, and may ‘The Voice‘ go down in flames.

Paula Abdul Talks ‘X Factor’ Firing — Handles it With Class

To be fair, Paula Abdul was not technically “fired” from X Factor. Her option was not renewed, which in Hollywood is a fancy way of saying that the network doesn’t want someone’s services for the following year. To be “fired,” you’d probably have to bad-mouth a producer (see Charlie Sheen). But the sad fact remains the same — Paula Abdul, whom I love, won’t be returning. And to prove why my love for her is valid, here’s what she said about her departure:

Yes, it’s true; I won’t be returning to The X Factor next season. I’ve learned through my longevity in this industry that business decisions often times override personal considerations. Simon and I, along with Fox and Fremantle, have been communicating about this for a while now, and I have absolute understanding of the situation.

Simon is, and will remain a dear friend of mine and I’ve treasured my experience working this past season with my extended family at Fox and Fremantle. I want nothing more than for The X Factor to exceed ALL of their wildest dreams. This truly has been a blessing and I am most grateful.

Goodbye for now, Paula. It’s the end of the Simon/Paula era and it’s mighty sad. But I’m certain she’ll be fine.

Nicole Scherzinger Sings “Pretty” on X Factor — Simon Cowell Gives Hilarious Critique

Some people just don’t have the X Factor, and Nicole Scherzinger is one of them. This perception could quite possibly be fixed with better management, considering she comes off as an ice princess with no personality. And on top of that, she’s not putting out good music. She sang “Pretty” on X Factor, and the lyrics made me physically uncomfortable. Did I mention her strange singing faces? The best part of the song was the end, when Simon Cowell critiqued her performance the way she critiques the contestants, which I can only hope will shed some light on why she should not return to next year’s judging panel.

Dear ‘X Factor’ Judges — Stop Crying!

For those that know The Dishmaster, you’re aware that emotion makes me uncomfortable. So you can imagine my discomfort to discover that all the judges on ‘X Factor’ are crying hysterically after every performance. Do they lack any semblance of internal control? It’s awkward and unnecessary, and in the case of Nicole Scherzinger — it looks fake. Isn’t this technically a place of work? Are they really that moved? Am I just a heartless prick? Watch Leroy Bell sing ‘Angel’ below, and then wait until the end to see Scherzinger’s curious, unmovable face.

Paula Abdul to Judge ‘The X Factor’ — Simon Cowell is a Genius!

Simon Cowell isn’t just a genius because he can spot talent in the industry, he’s a genius because he can spot talent for his own show too. When Paula Abdul left ‘American Idol,’ Simon Cowell mentally checked out of the show. He knew it was downhill from there, and he therefore gracefully finished out his contract before departing. He also knew that he was sitting on a gold mine. He knew that if he could trounce ‘Pop Idol’ in England with ‘The X Factor,’ he could do the same to ‘American Idol.’ He has a personal investment in killing those shows because he owns ‘The X Factor,’ which means the show’s success puts a lot more money in his pocket. When the stakes are that high, the man better be careful about who he chooses for the show. According to Deadline, he’s chosen Paula Abdul. It’s not official in the press yet because, even though Abdul’s deal is “closed,” she has yet to sign on the dotted line. At this stage in the contract negotiation, it’s fair to say we’ll be seeing her on the show. Despite the media criticism about Paula Abdul, she was an essential component of ‘American Idol’s’ success, and she had great chemistry with Simon Cowell. I therefore give him major props for the choice.