Celebrity fragrances are on my list of Hollywood no-nos. I can’t decide which is a more money-hungry endeavor: creating a fragrance or releasing a “auto-biography” written by an uncredited ghost-writer. I understand that movies don’t pay what they used to, and I also understand that everyone is entitled to a little extra cash. That being said, I still find it extremely off-putting to create a fragrance — probably because it reeks of desperation (pun intended). For years, celebrities refrained from endorsing products in commercials, for fear of hurting their brand. Stars like Tom Cruise, only endorsed products overseas, because Americans looked down upon it. But times have changed, and actors have replaced models in commercials and on the covers of magazines. And after it slowly became okay to discuss laundry on television, it’s also became okay to be the 500th celebrity to create a fragrance, in hopes of just free raking in some free cash (and it’s a lot of cash). But is it worth it? Isn’t it still important to keep your brand intact?
Tag: Tom Cruise
The New Hollywood Spin — “It’s Not a Remake . . . Even Though We Remade it”
Hollywood gets a lot of negative press for constantly remaking movies. The creative executives at movie studios enjoy the remakes because the promotion is easy, and the risks are limited. But no matter how you spin it — a remake is usually a creative cop-out, and because there are so many, the movie industry has begun to dig its grave. So how do you solve the problem? Well, you remake a movie, and then you release statements to the press about how your film is not actually a remake. Confused? Allow me to provide an example. Tony Scott, the director of Tom Cruise’s Top Gun, is looking to make another Top Gun without Tom Cruise. It’s being painted as a “sequel.” When asked about the project, Scott said, I don’t want to do a remake. I don’t want to do a reinvention. I want to do a new movie.” And that’s not the first time I’ve heard this spin. A new Jason Bourne movie is in the works, and Matt Damon won’t star in it. Tony Gilroy will direct the new film, saying, “this is not a reboot or a recast or a prequel.” Wow, Tony — perhaps you can define what this is then, considering its mighty confusing to make a Bourne movie without Jason Bourne. As for Matt Damon, he isn’t pleased with the news. Damon told Parade that he’s not in it, but “Universal just wants to call everything the ‘Bourne’ something. So I guess they are trying to make another franchise.” Perhaps I have to start coming up with more creative terms for this type of thing. How about . . . ripoff?
Tim Gunn’s Best Celebrity Bashing Quotes
Tim Gunn does his fair share of celebrity bashing, and I love every second of it. I often pick on celebrities for gratuitously insulting other people, but Gunn never bothers me. He’s just a “truth-teller,” and if the “truth” involves calling celebrities out on their bad behavior, then so be it. In honor of his new book, I’ve listed his best quotes below.
On Whether Lady Gaga’s Outfits Are “Fashion”
“Who would want to emulate that? It’s not fashion. Those are costumes.”
Tim Gunn on Jon Gosselin’s Wardrobe
On Katie Holmes Baggy Jeans
“I have to say, Katie Holmes has become so much more sophisticated in so many ways, but I think she’s in a dip right now. I can’t explain it.”
On Katie Holmes and Tom Cruise’s Choice to Dress-Up Suri
He explained, “Suri is her mother and father’s dress up doll. I think in many ways she’s a fashion victim and it’s very inappropriate…I feel bad for her.”
On Shooting Gossip Girl With Taylor Momsen
“What a diva! “She was pathetic, she couldn’t remember her lines, and she didn’t even have that many. I thought to myself ‘why are we all being held hostage by this brat?”
On Martha Stewart’s Daugther, Alexis
When I was at ‘The Daily Show’ two weeks ago, the producers told me that when Martha was there, she came with Alexis and that’s exactly how Alexis was in the green room. She had this profanity-laced Tourettes. She was saying all these horrible things about her mother, who was right there, and her mother wasn’t responding at all, acting as if she was deaf.
On Vogue’s Anna Wintour at a Fashion Show
“I was with a colleague from Parsons, and we had been discussing the will-she-or-won’t-she-take-the-elevator question, so we ran over to the elevator bay to see if Anna would deign to get on. She wasn’t there. Then we looked over [and we saw] Anna being carried down the stairs. The bodyguards had made a fireman’s lock and were racing her from landing to landing. She was sitting on their crossed arms. I ran to the window to see if they would put her down on the sidewalk or carry her to the car like that. They carried her to the car. And I thought: ‘I will never forget this.’”
On Lindsay Lohan Designing for Emanuel Ungaro
A reporter asked me at a party how I felt about Lindsay Lohan designing for Emanuel Ungaro. I was taken aback because I hadn’t heard anything about it until then. I said that if it was true, “It’s got to be a publicity stunt. Or a crack-smoking board of directors?” How I said it was a little blunt, but I stand by the sentiment. I mean, Lindsay Lohan knows how to buy things, but does she know how to design? And if she does, then at that level?
On Designer Isaac Mizrahi
Don’t even get me started on Isaac Mizrahi. In my view, he’s one of the world’s biggest divas. One time, Isaac threw a fit about a security guard from the second-floor showroom at Liz Claiborne Inc.’s Times Square offices. Why, you may ask? Was he stealing? Harassing guests? showing up late? No, he was wearing brown.
Isla Fisher Won’t Confirm Second Child — Carries Stroller
Isla Fisher and Sacha Baron Cohen had a second child without the media even knowing she was pregnant. Perhaps they had a conversation with Sandra Bullock about keeping secrets. What I find particularly funny though, is that the tabloids keep saying that Fisher and Cohen “won’t confirm” the birth of their child, despite being consistently spotted with a stroller. When their newborn turns ten, will the tabloids keep calling the kid an “unconfirmed child?” May I go on the record and say that I don’t care about celebrity babies? I have no particular interest in whether Suri Cruise picks out her own dresses, or whether Shiloh Pitt will ever chuck her tomboy style. Yes, it’s true — even celebrities can reproduce — including Borat. That’s where my curiosity ends.
Celebrity Couples — Who Started the Combined-Name Monikers?
Almost every celebrity magazine I read refers to Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie as “Brangelina.” So it got me thinking — where did these combination nicknames come from and who can I send a bouquet of flowers? The unlikely culprit is Dogma director Kevin Smith. It all started with a little couple known as “Bennifer.” Kevin Smith directed Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck in the box office flop, Jersey Girl, and he used the nickname in reference to his terrible time with the couple. He said in an interview that he’s “learned absolutely nothing [in his career], except to never work with ‘Bennifer’ again.” He later described it as his “worst on-set experience.” To be fair, Smith isn’t the only person to blame. It was Chris Rock who turned his comment into the monster that it became. While hosting the Mtv Movie Awards, Rock used the nickname again, and the subsequent snowball effect couldn’t be stopped. So there you have it. And as a tribute to the best celebrity-couple nicknames of all time, I’ve posted a list below. Enjoy.
- TomKat (Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes)
- Brangelina (Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie)
- Billary (Bill Clinton and Hillary Clinton)
- Desilu (Lucille Ball and Desi Arnaz)
- Filliam H. Muffman (Felicity Huffman and William H. Macy — Thanks to Stephen Colbert)
- Bennifer 2.0 (Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner)
Movie Review: Salt
I saw Salt with my father, who obnoxiously interrupted the film during every action scene, to remind me how unrealistic it is for such a “scrawny woman” to beat up numerous men at one time. I told him that no one questioned the weaponless Tom Cruise when he beat up four guys in an elevator in Mission Impossible II. He laughed at the comparison. I then turned to my mother who confirmed my father’s take in very few words — “it’s a little ridiculous,” she said. The film was originally written for Tom Cruise, and last minute changes were made to the script when he dropped out. I imagine that if the script was originally written with Angelina in mind, the ass-kicking would have been kept to a minimum. Personally, I find it refreshing to see a woman kicking ass for once. Plus, close-ups of Angelina are always welcomed. As far as the plot goes, the story is moderately thin. Angelina may or may not be a Russian spy that is trying to blow up the world. It’s a believable guessing game, because even in real life, I cannot decide if Angelina is a villain. That made her great for this role. In the end, it’s enjoyable enough to see on the big screen. And it’s not a remake — which made me grade on a curve.
Top Quotes: The Celebrity Scorned Lover
There’s nothing like a good old fashioned dig from a scorned lover. In honor of July 4th weekend, I have compiled a list of some personal favorites. Grab some popcorn and enjoy!
Laura Dern on Billy Bob Thornton leaving her for Angelina Jolie:
“I left our home to go and make a movie, and while I was away my boyfriend got married, and I never heard from him again.”
Nicole Kidman on her divorce from Tom Cruise:
“Now I can wear high heels.”
Brittany Murphy on Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore (R.I.P. Brit):
“I suppose the crux of their relationship basically means to him that age doesn’t matter and to her that size doesn’t matter.”
Jennifer Aniston on Brad Pitt’s W Magazine photo-shoot with Angelina Jolie
“There’s a sensitivity chip that’s missing.”
Dennis Quaid on Meg Ryan’s affair with Russell Crowe:
“I think Russell did Meg and I a favor.”
Michael Douglas on ex-wife Diandra Douglas’ parenting skills:
She was a “young mother without any parenting skills handed down from her parents.”
Emma Thompson on the prospect of having a baby with her then husband Kenneth Branagh (who supposedly left Thompson for Helena Bonham Carter)
“Ken is so tired, his sperm are on crutches.”
Tate Donovan on why he and Jennifer Aniston broke up:
“She likes top-notch hotels and luxury, and I like bed and breakfasts and riding my bike.”
Keifer Sutherland on his best friend, Jason Patric, never confessing his love for Sutherland’s then fiance, Julia Roberts (who left Sutherland three days before the wedding and went to Europe with Patric).
‘I’m surprised that I never got a call from him saying I’ve fallen in love da-da-da. Instead, I found out from a stranger.’
Jason Patric on his breakup with Julia Roberts
“I knew (dating her) would be trouble. But I think sometimes people walk into their own nightmare maybe not so consciously. This was a person who very much put herself in the public eye, and the public life. I think everyone has a right to privacy, but once you use your personal life to advance your fame, you really don’t have the right to say no to (the press).”
Where Did All the Good Movies Go?
Ever since Tom Cruise jumped on Oprah’s couch, there has been a lot of talk about how he “fell from grace.” It’s possible that he’s responsible for his own demise, but what of all the other A-list actors that haven’t had hits in years? What about Bruce Willis, Harrison Ford, Jim Carrey, Michelle Pfeiffer, Robin Williams, Denzel Washington, and Eddie Murphy? Did all these guys jump on Oprah’s couch? It’s not as if younger actors are taking the place of these Hollywood veterans. Who’s the new action star that replaced Bruce Willis? And what comedic actor is the new Jim Carrey? So what’s the answer? The painful truth is that Hollywood just isn’t making good movies anymore. The days of risk-taking and creativity are over. We have entered an era of butchering our coveted classics with painful remakes, and extending a franchise way beyond its welcome. Why? Because it’s easy and cheap. It simply does not cost the studio as much money to promote a remake. We all know what ‘Charlie and the Chocolate Factory’ is about, so the title alone is enough – no need to see the trailer more than once. It’s less of a risk, because the nostalgia will automatically bring people to the theater. It also only requires two brain cells to come up with a remake, so pure laziness is another possible factor. I understand that we are all a bunch of hypocrites that speak with out wallets (given that these movies all make money), but when there is no competition, our love for the theater means we’ll go no matter what – with or without quality. So the next time you start your A-list actor bashing, ask yourself whose fault their slump is – the studio or the actor.
What Went Wrong With ‘Knight & Day’?
If you read my previous review, you’d know that ‘Knight & Day’ is a great film. But the box office numbers left many scratching their head. Why would such a good movie have such a mild opening? Movieline attempts to answer this question, and I agree with everything except the Tom Cruise factor. The film was a marketing nightmare, and Tony Sella (Twentieth Century Fox’s co-president of marketing) agrees. “Blame me, not Tom Cruise,” says Sella. Okay Tony – I blame you. Because of the horrible trailer, most people have no idea what ‘Knight & Day’ is even about, and the title certainly doesn’t help. I guess Tom Cruise is the “Knight”? He works for the federal government, so unless he’s riding a horse over to Cameron Diaz’s castle, I don’t get it. Personally, I would have called it “The Spy Who Saved Me?”, and gone the quarky route, because no one really understands that this film is an action-comedy, and not just pure action. What’s unfortunate, is that Tom Cruise is getting the blame for someone else’s misstep. He’s fantastic, and the constant questions about whether moviegoers are turned off by him, makes my blood boil. He’s literally one of the last great actors left that is still makes great films (did I mention that he’s ageless?). So go see ‘Knight & Day’ and take my word for how great it is.
Movie Review: Knight & Day – I Loved it!
Before I begin my review, I’d like to once again admit that I have a Tom Cruise bias. I love the guy. So I certainly went into the theater with my fingers crossed. Had I not liked the movie, I probably would have avoided writing my review altogether, as it could hurt my chances of ever having coffee with Tom Cruise. It is possible that he’ll invite me for coffee . . . isn’t it? Well, thank goodness the film was great. It was an action packed romantic comedy, that had me laughing from start to finish. I confess that I’m not a huge Cameron Diaz fan, but I now officially like her. What makes this film so enjoyable, is the guessing game about whether Tom Cruise is a good guy or a bad guy. He’s certainly very skilled at playing both sides, so we’re not sure who to root for. I imagine that if I was caught in the same situation as Cameron Diaz’s character, I’d probably just run off with Tom Cruise and hope for the best. After all, someone that good looking with such a nice smile can’t possibly be a bad guy – right? I advise all of my readers to go see this movie with a date. It crosses all genres, which means it’s great for everyone. It’s rare to find a movie worth watching these days, so find the time to see it on the big screen.