Girls Episode 9 Recap — A New Dimension on Lena Dunham’s Disgusting Nudity

girls-hbo-1Lena Dunham confuses me. What’s her goal? What’s she trying to prove? Why the insatiable urge to show her body in all the most unflattering possible angles? Why gross-out the audience with intolerable habits, such as revealing her bloody Q-tip, or scurrying across the floor with gratuitous crotch shots? Is she testing me? Is she hazing her audience to prove their loyalty?

If the last guess is accurate, allow me to confess I’m at the end of my rope. I’ll hang on a bit longer, but aesthetic is everything, and the longer you torture me with disgusting tactics, the sooner you’ll loose one of your most loyal viewers. And furthermore, if Lena Dunham gets wind of this, allow me to suggest that she’s actually making it worse for over-weight chicks on television. The goal is to suggest that skinny and attractive are not mutually exclusive, so when you attempt to manipulate your already over-weight body into painful-to-see poses, you provide a setback to the original intention.

In short, I’ve had it. Changes must be made, or I’m out.

Gerard Butler on Brandi Glanville: “We Had Beach-Party Sex”

I’m glad Gerard Butler finally found the humor in his Real Housewife hookup. Though he originally denied banging Brandi Glanville, Stern wrangled his admission, with Butler boldly proclaiming he “didn’t know her last name,” as the reason for his original denial. Watch his hilarious recap of their rendezvous.

Tabloid Takedown — Week-in-Review — Celebrity Rundown


 

  • Is Sofia Vergara is having a baby via surrogate? RumorFix
  • Jake Gyllenhaal has a new girlfriend. E! Online
  • Holly Madison won the worst-baby-name award. Us Weekly
  • Kim Kardashian is still paying for her bad taste in men. Wet Paint
  • Sarah Jessica Parker finally talked about The Carrie Diaries. Just Jared
  • Danny Boyle and Rosario Dawson split. Telegraph
  • Pregnant Lady Antebellum’s Hillary Scott revealed her baby’s sex. Hollywood Life
  • Marc Anthony’s May/December romance is heating up. Stuff
  • It appears David Bowie and Mick Jagger really did have sex. Digital Spy
  • Jessica Simpson dropped her baby’s gender. Zap2It

Elisabeth Hasselbeck Leaving The View? — Say it Ain’t So!

20130308-155353.jpgIf this news is true, it might even-out my outrage about Joy Behar’s departure. According to Us Weekly, Hasselbeck’s is getting ousted due to viewer objection about her divisive Republican stance.

While I think there’s value in having a conservative on the panel, Hasselbeck has become even more partisan over the years, with an unwavering Republican stance on nearly every issue at hand. In fact, I’d often find her manipulating her stance just to present an unbiased perspective, while covertly sneaking in her Republican viewpoint. If you’re going to hire variety, it’s best to avoid “straight party” thinkers. Also, when market research says you’re unpopular, the network takes no prisoners. This is nothing but a ratings game, and popular opinion will unequivocally reign supreme.

The Client List Returns — Win a Season 1 DVD Gift Pack

20130308-124447.jpgTo celebrate the return of “The Client List,” The Dishmaster is giving away two gift packs of “The Client List” Season 1 on DVD and a custom-made blanket to cuddle up with while you catch up before the show returns on March 10th.

Get to know “Riley Parks” on Lifetime’s hit drama series!

For your chance to win the gift pack, email Info@TheDishmaster.com with the code “RILEYPARKSISBACK.”

Don’t forget to catch season two on Sunday, March 10, at 10:00pm ET/PT.

Disclaimer
All winners must be located within in the United States, and the selection process is entirely at The Dishmaster’s discretion. All entries must be submitted prior to March 18, 2013 to be eligible.

Taylor Swift Can’t Take a Joke — Hates Tina Fey & Amy Poehler

The worst thing a public figure can be is unlikable, and the fastest way to get there is by being humorless.Taylor Swift is notoriously sensitive about her man-eating reputation, or rather her, I-make-boys-run reputation, and when Tina Fey & Amy Poehler told her to “stay away from Michael J. Fox’s son” at the Golden Globes, the singer wasn’t happy. And in a recent Vanity Fair interview, she expressed just how unhappy, saying, “There’s a special place in hell for women who don’t help other women.” True to her funny-girl form, Poehler replied, saying, “Aw, I feel bad if she was upset. I am a feminist, and she is a young and talented girl. That being said, I do agree I am going to hell. But for other reasons. Mostly boring tax stuff. ” As for Fey, she fought back, saying, “It was just a joke, and I think it was actually a very benign joke.”

Here’s my advice to Taylor Swift: if you can’t make fun of yourself, everyone else will. It’s best to get a head start. Watch the joke below.

Howard Stern on Heidi Klum: “What Is This, The Supreme Court?”

For months Howard Stern has protested the addition of a fourth judge on America’s Got Talent, so die hard fans are dying to know his thoughts on Heidi Klum’s last minute addition to his panel. Watch below to see what the king of all media has to say.

Tate Donovan on Mischa Barton — OC Diva Drama?

Tate Donovan is one of my favorite actors in interviews. The guy is honest. If you don’t believe me, just take the time Google what he has to say about his famous exes (see Sandra Bullock and Jennifer Aniston). Watch his Mischa Barton commentary below.

Quote of the Day: Alec Baldwin Responds to Shia LaBeouf’s Theater Tweets

20130307-100446.jpg“I can tell you that, in all honesty, I don’t think he’s in a good position to be giving interpretations of what the theater is and what the theater isn’t. I mean, he was never in the theater. He came into a rehearsal room for six or seven days and, uh — you know, sometimes film actors — I mean, there are people who are film actors who have a great legacy in the theater. Some of the greatest movie stars had really serious theater careers and still do. And many film actors, though, who are purely film actors, they’re kind of like celebrity chefs, you know what I mean? You hand them the ingredients, and they whip it up, and they cook it, and they put it on a plate, and they want a round of applause. In the theater, we don’t just cook the food and serve it. You go out in the garden and you plant the seeds and you grow it. You know, it’s a really very, very long, slow, deliberate — it’s the opposite of film acting. It’s a much more intensive and kind of thoughtful process. And there are people who that’s just not their thing. So for those people who I think it’s not their thing, I’m not really interested in their opinion of it. But thanks.” Alec Baldwin, on Shia LeBeof’s tweet about theater after Shia dropped out of their Broadway play.

Caine Monroy Signs With William Morris — Cardboard Cash-In

I hadn’t heard of this video until I saw that the adorable tyke signed with one of Hollywood’s biggest talent agencies. So who is this 9 year old? He’s a boy who built an arcade out of cardboard boxes, and one of his customers shot a video that went viral. Watch and enjoy. I dare you not to watch it twice. Watch the second video for an update on Caine.