If you watch X Factor, then you’re familiar with the excessively pompous Nicole Scherzinger who has made it clear on numerous occasions that she can actually sing. So you can imagine my bliss when I discovered her wretched new single, ‘Try With Me’, where the vocals are nearly unrecognizable amidst an auto-tuned mess. Haven’t we heard enough of this wretched sound? Isn’t it time for evolution to phase out these types of singers? Where’s Darwin when you need him. Listen below.
Kelly Clarkson Still Bad-Mouths Ryan Tedder — Classless
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Hasn’t Kelly Clarkson learned her lesson about bad-mouthing heavy hitters in the industry? To promote her new album, ‘Stronger’, Clarkson revisited the Ryan Tedder controversy and once again accused him of giving her and Beyonce the same song. The two songs in question are Beyonce’s ‘Halo’ and Clarkson’s ‘Already Gone.’ Clarkson learned of the similarity after watching YouTube mashups and she later pointed the finger at Tedder in the press. Tedder was rightfully pissed that Clarkson smeared his song-writing reputation.
In an effort to give Clarkson the benefit of the doubt, I played both songs for my musician friend, Steve Aho, who said that, although they sound similar, “it’s a very common chord progression” that “isn’t even identical.” Since I’ve done my musical research, I can now safely say that Kelly Clarkson is irresponsible and classless. You do not bad-mouth a musician because some douchey people made YouTube mashups of your song. Perhaps she should write her own material so she needn’t worry about this nonsense. Oh wait — she did — and it didn’t work.
Alexis Stewart on ‘The Today Show’ — Confirms She’s Horrible
Alexis Stewart appeared on ‘The Today Show’ to promote her new book, ‘Whateverland,’ and it’s obvious she should immediately check into therapy. First, she was clearly annoyed by the Martha Stewart related questions, which is hilarious considering the book would never be published without her mother’s name. Second, she co-wrote the book with Jennifer Koppelman-Hutt, who she’s no longer friends with. When asked why the friendship ended, Stewart gave vague answers, but reiterated a quote from her book, saying, “If you want to punish somebody, never talking to them is a good method.” It didn’t surprise me that Koppelman-Hutt couldn’t answer the question either, given her recent appearance on Howard Stern where she divulged she has absolutely no idea why Alexis banished her from her life. What exactly happened during Alexis Stewart’s life to make her such a horrible, angry person? And furthermore, who wants to buy an advice book from someone that needs twelve of their own? Perhaps the ‘Whateverland’ title should be changed to “Why-I-Gratuitously-Drop-My-Friends-And Hate-Life.”
Mariah Carey Reveals Twins — Babara Walters Interview
It’s great to see Mariah Carey back to her normal self in an interview. She’s usually slightly nuts, and only Barbara Walters can bring out the Mariah we loved at the beginning of her career. She finally unveiled her adorable twins, and though they seem incredibly cute, I get the strange feeling that there’s some marital animosity going on. For example, when Walters asked Mariah if she trusts Cannon, Mariah responds with, “sometimes.” Watch below.
Quote of the Day — Kate Winslet
“I ran into the bedroom and put on a bra. In disastrous moments like that, you do the strangest things. I started to put on a bra and thought ‘No, that’s going to take me too long,’ so off came the bra, on came the t-shirt, I grabbed the children and I picked up Granny.” Kate Winslet on how she handled the fire at Richard Branson’s house, where she famously picked up Branson’s mother, or “Granny”, and carried her down the stairs.
GQ Responds to Taylor Lautner Controversy — Falls Short
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I give Dustin Lance Black a lot of credit. Not only is he an Oscar winning writer, but he also champions against the gratuitous homophobia in Hollywood. In response to Taylor Lautner’s GQ interview in which he was asked whether the openly gay Gus Van Sant and Dustin Lance Black hit on him, Black said:
Really Mr. GQ writer? I’m curious, will you be asking all of the handsome actors I’ve ever had the privilege of working with or meeting if I made passes at them as well? I’d love to be there when you ask Sean Penn that same question. Or, Mr. GQ writer, were you projecting your own unprofessional desires onto me and Gus? Perhaps? Or worse still, are you a homophobe?
GQ predictably avoided responsibilty, saying;
We’ve seen some of the comments floating around regarding our recent interview with Taylor Lautner and apologise if anyone was offended by anything in the article. It certainly wasn’t our intention to paint anyone in the story as a sexual predator. The point we were actually trying to push was that Taylor is irresistible to virtually everyone — regardless of sexuality or gender. Hence the film crew cheering at his shirtless scenes while shooting Twilight, and Mark Wahlberg deeming him better looking than Leonardo DiCaprio.
GQ’s defense is ridiculous. If I directed Taylor Lautner, would it be appropriate to ask him if I offered him matzah during the course of the shoot? After all, what kind of Jew would I be without it? Seriously though — despite GQ’s defense — they would not have asked the same question about a female director or writer.
New Snow White Images Released — MAGICAL!
Britney Spears Debuts New ‘Criminal’ Video — It’s Hot!
Robert Downey Jr. Asks Us to Forgive Mel Gibson — Is He Right?
I appreciate Robert Downey Jr.’s plea for the world to forgive Mel Gibson, and I have always loved Robert Downey Jr., despite his issues. But there’s a major difference between Downey and Gibson’s life-troubles. Robert Downey Jr. was a drug addict. Everyone rooted for him to overcome his addiction, and the public welcomed him back when they felt he recovered. But Gibson’s problems far exceed addiction (though alcohol was clearly involved). America thinks that Mel Gibson is a bigoted wife-beater. The only way to recover from that is to convince the public that he’s changed, and that he deserves a second chance. But Mel Gibson has done nothing to warrant that belief. Does he hate Jews? Is he racist? Did he beat his girlfriend that night? Everyone knows his father is a holocaust denier, yet Gibson never publicly addressed it. When Diane Sawyer asked him to comment, he defensively suggested that the interview was about him and not his father. That’s just not good enough. Unless he’s honest and he can prove that he doesn’t have hate in his heart, he will be forever banned from the industry — whether Robert Downey Jr. likes it or not. My suggestion for Gibson is that he sit-down with Barbara Walters, who is not only a genius at resurrecting careers through tearful truths, but who is also Jewish. It’s a win-win if he’s willing.
CBS’ ‘Two Broke Girls’ Says “Shoe Her Down” — Jewish Dig?
I’ve recently discovered Whitney Cummings’ newly created show, ‘Two Broke Girls,’ and I liked it until episode three. In the episode, Kat Dennings and Beth Behrs visit Goodwill, and when Behrs suggests the price of the eight dollar shoes is too expensive, Dennings scolds her, saying, “I can’t believe you’re trying to shoe her down.” As a Jewish Dishmaster who has been the subject of offensive, bigoted jokes throughout my life — the reference was immediately clear. It’s a pun on “Jew her down.” I understand that Kat Dennings is actually Jewish in real life, but the line wasn’t written by her, and even if it was — it would still be bigoted. Not cool, guys. The Dishmaster demands an apology.