Though I usually do not take the time to insult people on The Dishmaster, today I will make an exception for Kris Humphries, who has quite possibly accomplished the least sexy attempt at sexy in the history of photography. What on earth was he thinking? Allow me to explain the lack of sexy. First, women aren’t as visual as men, so unless he’s trying to appeal to gay men, it’s pointless to take the Anthony Weiner route. Second, for those that know me personally, you’re aware of my bulge-predictor tactics, which I won’t elaborate on for fear that I will move this blog to R-Rated territory. Let’s just say that what some women might consider an asset, I’d consider a big “NO THANK YOU.” And lastly, why is he wearing a Halloween mask? When I play bedroom-dress-up, I want my man to wear a police uniform and throw me around. I don’t want him wearing face-paint and little underwear. Kim Kardashian created a monster.
