Jersey Shore Season 4 Trailer — is America Crying for Italy?

Once upon a time, I studied abroad in a European country that will go unnamed to protect the innocent parties involved. While there, I distinctly remember my class of neanderthals engaging in a beer chugging race on the beach. The locals were disgusted, and I thought, “that’s why they hate Americans — because they are gross.” Europeans might drink a lot, but they don’t exceed their tolerance, and they certainly don’t publicly vomit or openly scream profanities. The reason I’m on my high horse, is because I just watched the new trailer for Jersey Shore, and it’s tragic. It’s not that I’m a Jersey Shore hater, it’s just that I’m fully aware that this group of folks solidify the disdain for Americans. Having said that, I will watch every minute of the new season. It looks damn funny.

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Chris Tamburello v. Wes — The Challenge: Rivals

If you ever watch Mtv, then you’re familiar with a gentleman named Chris Tamburello, or “CT.” He’s a notorious bad boy, and his most famous melt-down occurred when he almost killed Adam King and ate him for sport. But since every girl wants a bad-boy with a heart, I’d still marry CT and have beautiful babies with him. The man sure is gorgeous. Sure he has some emotional issues — who doesn’t? Watch his fights below. He looks damn fine when he’s angry.

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Loveline Will Air on AOL — Not the Same Without Adam Carolla

For years I’ve been wanting to see Loveline on television again. It was one of my favorite shows growing up, and it taught me everything I didn’t want to know about third nipples. I was so obsessed I even caught the evening radio show after watching it on MTV. Since Adam Carolla left the show, it has never been the same. Carolla says he left because he was strangely offered a much lower salary, which led him to think someone wanted to push him out. The disloyal Dr. Drew chose to continue the show without his much-need partner in crime, and Mike Catherwood is his current co-host. If you saw Catherwood on Dancing With the Stars, then I don’t need to explain why Mike Catherwood is not exactly . . . entertaining. So does it really make a difference that AOL will start to air video of Loveline? Bring back Adam Carolla!

Rihanna & Britney Spears Perform at Billboard Music Awards — Leotards Galore!

Tonight was a big night for Britney Spears. Though she’s appeared on different shows, she has yet to perform at an awards show since the MTV Video Music Awards debacle. When I first heard she’d be performing at the Billboard Music Awards, I thought it was a tabloid rumor. Then I heard the details, and it immediately became clear. Rihanna carried it, and Britney did a brief, one minute performance. Overall, it was fine. Since I’ve attacked Britney Spears for her lack of choreography, I’d like to note that Rihanna’s performance indicates that choreography isn’t essential to success.
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MTV Gets Greedy — Picks Up Two ‘Jersey Shore’ Spin-Offs

For those of you who love Jersey Shore, today signifies the beginning of the end of the world’s greatest reality show in the history of television.  Whenever television executives hit the jackpot, they milk it to the point of exhaustion.  Such is the case with Jersey Shore, as MTV has officially picked up two spin-offs of the popular show, one following Snooki and JWoww’s post-shore antics, and the other following Pauly D on the road as a DJ.  While I’m certain those spin-offs will have traction, I’m also certain it will devalue the original series, and will inevitably hurt its ratings.  When you have a treasure on your hands, you don’t break it down and sell it’s parts — you protect it.  How about MTV come up with another original idea, instead of recycling an existing one?

Britney Spears Performs in Vegas — Where’s Her Choreography?

If you’re a fan of The Dishmaster, then you know what a huge Britney Spears fan I am.  Having said that, I’d like to take this opportunity to insult her for just a moment.  She performed in Vegas over the weekend to promote the launch of her new album, Femme Fatale, and after watching her concert videos, it’s clear she’s not back to her career launching status.  When Britney first entered the business, her performances were heavily danced focused, with Wade Robson choreographing all of her concerts, videos, and live performances.  Since Britney’s comeback and Wade’s subsequent departure, she hasn’t returned to her original caliber.  When you lip-sync, you have to dance.  There’s no way around it.  You can’t simply put on a sparkly outfit and walk slowly around the stage while sporadically moving your arms around.  I need more than that, especially when you’re known for performances alone.  I hate to pick on her, because I’m very happy for her comeback success, and I love every one of her songs.  But enough is enough.  Start dancing.  I’d encourage you to watch the video below sans sound.  It’s low quality, but you’ll get my point.

‘Teen Mom 2’ Star Brutally Beats Another Teen — This Show Must Die

When Teen Mom first began, the story was uplifting.  You had a group of girls that got pregnant at a very young age, and although their struggle was hard, they handled it.  They were interesting to watch, and I never felt as though MTV was promoting teen pregnancy.  They were simply documenting struggles, while allowing you to root for these people at the same time.  Because MTV felt that the original group’s story-line became stale, they decided to follow an all new group of teens. My guess is that MTV figured they’d not only freshen up the format by selecting new people, but they’d also save money, considering the longer you employ people, the more you have to pay them.  Unfortunately, the new group sucks, and it’s time to pull the show off the air.  In case you didn’t hear, Jenelle Evans (one of the stars of Teen Mom 2) was captured on camera beating up another girl — and the video is violent.  She’s since been arrested for the fight, but the damage is done.  If MTV wants to turn their show into Jerry Springer, then feel free to keep this on the air.  But if they want to maintain the show’s original integrity, then make a few phone calls to the original cast.

Jersey Shore Mystery: Why Do the “Grenades” Sign Waivers?

If you watch Jersey Shore, then you’re familiar with the term “grenade.”  Basically, it describes a fat, ugly chick.  The guys on the show (who sometimes refer to themselves as “M.V.P’ — for Mike, Vinny, Pauly), often bring home hot chicks to their house, and those hot chicks sometimes bring their girlfriends along, and those girlfriends are problematic “grenades.”   What’s curious is that anyone who appears on the show has to sign a waiver allowing MTV to put their face on camera.  So why would any girl in their right mind allow MTV to put their face on camera after the guys on the show lambaste their looks?  Here’s the answer.  The waiver allows MTV the right to use their footage, no matter what’s discussed.  Since these women aren’t aware of their “grenade” status when they sign the waiver, they must be pretty damn confident with their looks.  Note to self: If I ever get invited to the Jersey Shore house — DON’T SIGN THE WAIVER.

Britney Spears ‘Hold it Against Me’ Video Premieres — And Delivers

All of my loyal Dishmaster readers know about my Britney Spears obsession.  I rooted for her when she was down-and-out, and I’m happy to see that her comeback is in full swing.  Her new music video premiered on MTV tonight, and I think it ties Toxic for best Britney video of all time.  It was choreographed by Brian Friedman, who used to judge and choreograph for Fox’s So You Think You Can Dance.  It’s good to see Britney rocking out some dance moves again.  I’m glad I have a new video to imitate — that snake was getting mighty heavy.  Watch!

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MTV Ditches Lauren Conrad’s Show — Conrad Issues Angry Response

Lauren Conrad sure knows how to bite the hand that feeds her. MTV isn’t moving forward with her show and Conrad responded to the news, saying, “MTV felt the subject matter was too high brow for their audience and offered me the opportunity to change the show by incorporating more of my personal life. We agreed going into the project that this show would be an aspirational one, focusing on my career and my goals and not my personal relationships. We delivered the show that we sold and are sorry MTV didn’t feel their viewers were savvy enough to appreciate it.” May I just say that it’s extremely unprofessional for someone in the business to insult a network for not picking up a show? Good luck getting another deal with MTV, Conrad. I’d also like to point out that MTV probably let Conrad down easy by saying it was too “high brow.” I imagine that if they said what they really meant, the conversation would have ended at, “Lauren, you’re a little too boring for our network, so we’ve nixed you.”