THE DISHMASTER

This clip made me laugh very hard, and it’s only fair to share it. To see the most romantic marriage-proposal conversation in history, watch Gretchen Rossi tongue-lash Slade Smiley for even considering such an affront.

There’s a little game we used to play in law school called, “How to Spot the Liar.” I put my developed skills to use while watching Melissa Gorga and Kathy Wakile make a failed response on ‘The View’ to Theresa Giudice’s claim that they joined ‘The Real Housewives of New Jersey’ behind her back. When confronted with Theresa’s accusation, Melissa simply said it wasn’t true and Theresa uses that “as a crutch.” When further pressed by the panel, it became very clear Theresa was right. They didn’t disclose the contract negotiations and only told Theresa when they signed on the dotted line. In short, that means they kept a secret. Watch below.

“You know, [my husband] Joel [Madden] barely speaks all day, and then out of nowhere he has 9 million things to say, only for 30 minutes, from 9:00 to 9:30 P.M., when I’m watching Real Housewives.” Nicole Richie, on her husband’s very annoying habit of interrupting her reality-television-time.

Lindsay Lohan received a lot of criticism for her Saturday Night Live hosting job, but there’s one sketch that’s worth mentioning. There’s no need for me tell you why “The Real Housewives of Disney” was so great, just watch below and judge for yourself. I imagine that if Disney characters were real, that’s exactly how they would actually behave.

I had the pleasure last night of putting on my “real reporter” hat to attend Taylor Armstrong & Dana Wilkey’s fundraiser to support the 1736 Family Crisis Center. Aside from the obvious points about their philanthropy, I’d like to take this moment to point out how good these Real Housewives look in person. I realize that’s a superficial take on an important evening, but The Dishmaster is admittedly superficial — and I simply couldn’t help myself. Seriously though — it was a great night with some very kind ladies. Armstrong gave a brief speech at the event, joking that the tabloids have done a good job of explaining why she’s involved. Because I’m music-obsessed, my favorite part of the evening came from X Factor finalist Drew Ryniewicz, who sang two original songs. I officially understand why Simon Cowell took such a liking to her. She’s got the kind of potential that will flourish with the right team behind her. I’ve posted one of her X Factor performances below.

“It’s a shame this TV show used to be about our lives and now some lives are just about a TV show.” Dina Manzo, a former cast-member of The Real Housewives of New Jersey on the toxic nature of the show.

Kelsey Grammer has consistently won the PR war against his ex-wife, Camille Grammer, and his appearance on Piers Morgan was no exception. He was dignified yet cutting, and explained that he gave Camille ‘The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills’ as some kind of pre-divorce parting gift, because he knew she “always wanted to be famous.” But his most profound statement came in the form of advice, when he said, “I’d give a piece of advice to women who say, “I want a divorce” as some kind of tactic. If you say “I want a divorce enough times, you’re gonna get one.” Watch below.

I have mixed feelings about Taylor Armstrong’s interview with Entertainment Tonight where she discussed the physical abuse she suffered at the hands of her now-deceased husband. It’s certainly important to openly discuss domestic violence, and given that she’s already in the spotlight, it’s helpful that she’s in a position to draw more attention to the very serious issue. Having said that, it rubs me the wrong way. I suppose all television interviews are symbiotic, so it’s only inevitable that Entertainment Tonight would gain a ratings coup from this interview. But why is Taylor speaking up now, and why did she choose to engage in a reality show when her personal life was in shambles? Perhaps she wanted to make money independent of her husband so she could gain the strength to leave him? And did Bravo know about the violence? If they did, was it fair to keep her on television? Did they intervene? It’s difficult to spot that line in the sand in order to determine whether it’s been crossed. Click the link below to see the video.

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There are days where I fantasize about how much easier my life might be if I looked like Maria Menounos. Then I remind myself of my fantastic personality and amazing breasts, and I squash my pity-party. And speaking of personality — why is it that Maria Menounos is hired to interview the cast of MTV’s ‘The Challenge: Rivals’ and can’t be bothered to ask the most important questions? I realize the show is about physical challenges, but some of those physical challenges include sex, and I’d like to know which cast members are still having it — with each other. The only relevant question she asked involved Jenn Grijalva and Adam King, and after watching Jenn huff-and-puff over nothing (no pun intended), I still have absolutely no idea whether she and Adam had sex in the back of a bus. I blame Maria for that. And what about Chris “CT” Tamburello and Laurel Stucky? Since CT is so beautiful he hurts my eyes, imagine my disappointment when Maria failed to confirm his single status. I suppose that’s neither here nor there since CT and I have a date on a deserted island somewhere where he’ll go out into the ocean and catch me fish with his bare hands. A girl can dream, can’t she? And finally, are Wes Bergmann and Mandy Moyer still friends-with-benefits? What exactly did Maria think she was paid to ask during this interview? Perhaps she needs to watch more of those Real Housewives reunions and take some notes from the great Andy Cohen.

UPDATE: It’s been brought to my attention by a very kind commenter that Maria did in fact ask the correct questions but the douchey editor over at MTV decided to edit those out. For details on what really happened, and the answers to the questions I posed above, read Adam King’s blog. You’ll be relieved to know that CT is still available — for me. And my major apologies to Maria for insulting her interviewing skills.

Do reality shows destroy people’s lives, or are the types of people who choose to be on reality shows already destroyed? It’s impossible to know the answer, but what I do know is this — when a network discovers that someone they filmed has committed suicide, I don’t care whose fault it is — they shouldn’t air the footage. If they choose to not to listen to me, I’d say they are scum sucking maggots that may or may not rot in hell. In case you’re unfamiliar, Russell Armstrong of The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, has committed suicide, and the network has extensive footage of his life leading up to his death. Rumors are circulating that they filmed him in marriage counseling with his wife, Taylor Armstrong, who recently filed for divorce claiming that Russell was physically abusive during their marriage. He killed himself shortly after the press exposed other violent incidences in his past, along with his financial troubles. I have no idea what went on behind closed doors, but I’d venture to guess that it certainly didn’t help his inner turmoil to have Bravo expose his life. Sure, he chose the path, and there’s certainly enough reality shows on the air to understand the risk taken when joining a cast like this. Having said that, the guy killed himself. Bravo should take that footage and burn it.