It's Not Gossip, It's Commentary
It’s always smart to align with celebrities for promotion, and it was clearly a shrewd move for Manolo Blahnik, whose new “9 to 5” boots “broke the internet.” Launched earlier this week, the limited-edition Rihanna x Manolo Blahnik footwear collaboration caps off at nearly $5,000.
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If you don’t want your life defined by one incident, then stop talking about it. Though I understand Rihanna’s need to be as honest and open as possible with Oprah, it’s a bad idea to keep rehashing what happened with Chris Brown, especially from such an emotional place. She is obviously still mourning her breakup, and she should refrain from constantly reminding the public about the horrific abuse she suffered. Plus, if she really wishes Chris Brown the best as she claims, then the worst thing she can do is remind the public, once again, that he physically abused her.
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While some might consider Coachella a music festival, it’s really just an excuse for douchey celebrities to pretend they’re cool by wearing ridiculous outfits with really big sunglasses. One such celebrity is Rihanna, who posted a picture of herself cutting up powder on her bodyguard’s head. When she received a predictable backlash for the drug implications, she deleted the picture and wrote an unexplained message, saying, “PATHETIC C*NTZ.” Right, cause that’s cool. Good job, Rihanna. Perhaps you should post more pictures of your gun tattoo also. It’s good for the kids.
My good friend called me yesterday to say he disliked my Chris Brown/Grammy post, insisting that Brown still isn’t worthy of the public’s forgiveness. “But when is enough, enough?” I said. And if the guy laid brick for a living, should we call his boss and ask that he be fired?” According to my friend, laying brick comes with different standards than being in the public eye, and it’s therefore worthy of different repercussions. And furthermore, Chris Brown doesn’t seem contrite. I argued that Brown might not share the same education and upbringing as other celebrities who have had trouble, and he’s therefore not able to properly articulate his regret. My friend pounced on that argument, saying, “He’s surrounded by people that are coaching him about what to say, and he still can’t do it. At some point, it’s about him and him alone. It’s too soon to accept him back.” He also referenced Brown’s Good Morning America debacle, saying, “that doesn’t look like a guy who is sorry.” He might be right, and he’s nearly convinced me. But until I decide, I’m posting his new video below, because you cannot deny that the guy can dance.
If we have to pay for our sins for the rest of our lives, then we’re all screwed. When Chris Brown performed at the Grammys everyone was outraged, including country star Miranda Lambert who tweeted, “Chris Brown twice? I don’t get it. He beat on a girl … Not cool that we act like that didn’t happen.” Though I have my doubts about his contrition, there’s one thing I know for sure — eternal punishment will halt reform. His physical abuse of Rihanna is certainly deplorable. And he unequivocally deserves to be punished. But when does it end? When is enough, enough? When is the man allowed to move on with his life and continue working? What if he laid brick for a living? Should we call his boss demand he be fired? This is his job. This is how he makes his living. If he’s contrite, and if he’s done the personal work to ensure he doesn’t make the same mistake twice, then he deserves to be forgiven.
Having duets at the American Country Music Awards was great in theory, and rough in execution. Steven Tyler and Carrie Underwood were the only two artists to get it right. Tyler entered the stage singing Underwood’s Undo It, and Carrie Underwood later sang Tyler’s Walk This Way. This idea of artists crossing genres should have been consistent with each duet, but the producers missed the mark. Instead, you had Rihanna singing California King Bed with Sugarland‘s Jennifer Nettles, but Jennifer Nettles didn’t sing a song by Rihanna. To further confuse the theme, Brad Paisley sang with Alabama, who are being labeled in the press as “rockers,” even though they are both clearly country music artists. That’s not exactly crossing genres. The ACM producers should call American Idol producer Nigel Lythgoe to take some advice about executing performance themes. Watch Underwood and Tyler below.
Every so often when I get depressed about the size of my ass, I think of Rihanna, who has done a great job of representing how to look good with only a silver napkin covering her large butt-cheeks. Now if I can just borrow her Rolling Stone air-brusher, and then I’m ready for a new facebook profile picture! In her upcoming interview, Rihanna will discuss sexting and her attraction to bad-boys. Wow, there’s even more to learn than I originally thought! Who needs music talk when you can discuss talking dirty.