Author: The Dishmaster

Kristen Stewart Wore Robert Pattinson’s Hat While Cheating — OMFG!

Of all the details surrounding Kristen Stewart’s unfaithful escapades, the biggest affront of all has yet to be highlighted with the attention it deserves. So here goes: Kristen Stewart wore Robert Pattinson’s hat while she cheated on him. I know Rupert Sanders had a wife and children, and that surely made the list, but cheating always makes me ask the inevitable Dishmaster question: Are you or are you not a sociopath? Would Kristen Stewart have confessed her infidelity had the tabloids not caught her? Would she have continued her relationship, pretending as if nothing was wrong? And how much of Robert Pattinson’s reality did she destroy? But of all those hard-hitting questions, the biggest one still remains: When she walked over to her closet to find an incognito uniform to evade the paparazzi, how could she grab her boyfriend’s hat and live with herself?

Green Day’s Billy Joe Joins ‘The Voice’ as a Mentor With Christina Aguilera

I will try my hardest not to judge Green Day frontman Billy Joe for joining ‘The Voice.’ It’s a popular show, he’s a popular guy, and he has to stay popular — because he has an album coming out. That being said, my vitriolic hatred for Christina Aguilera and my talent show fatigue makes this revelation difficult. Watch their interview below, and by “their,” I mean hers, considering he barely got a word in.

Snow Patrol Performs “Open Your Eyes” at Hyde Park

Remember when you were considered a musically adept insider for loving Snow Patrol? Well they sure have come a long way since their underground-artist days. Watch them perform “Open Your Eyes” at the Hyde Park Olympic Celebration. It’s got that epic slow climb that the band is famous for.

Dane Cook Apologizes for Dark Knight Joke

I get it. Stand up comedy is based on taking hot-button, touchy subjects and risking a backlash by twisting it into something funny. If you don’t take risks, then you’re not a comedian. That being said, Dane Cook’s joke was terrible. Yes it’s too soon to joke about such a colossal tragedy, but it also wasn’t funny — and that’s the key. In short, Cook basically suggested that the film was so bad, the audience was probably thinking they wanted to be shot. I’m paraphrasing horribly — but trust me — my summary is just as funny as the original phrasing. Cook got the message, and quickly said, “I am devastated by the recent tragedy in Colorado & did not mean to make light of what happened. I made a bad judgment call with my material last night & regret making a joke at such a sensitive time. My heart goes out to all of the families & friends of the victims.” I won’t be too hard on the guy because the public has already given him their fair share of tongue-lashings and I’m sure he learned his lesson. But I wouldn’t be The Dishmaster if I didn’t make my point.

Arrested Development Returns! Photo-Proof!

After the many years of turmoil surrounding the return of the public’s most loved underrated show in history, Arrested Development is back — and Jason Bateman gave us the photographic proof via his twitter account. Below you’ll see a pic of Michael Cera on set, with the Bateman caption, “My son, arriving yesterday.” HOORAY!

Photo courtesy of Jason Bateman

‘Dancing With the Stars’ Announces All-Star Lineup — I’m Disappointed

‘Dancing With the Stars’ announced some of its all-star lineup, and many of the biggest-hitters in the history of the show are noticeably absent. Where is Mario Lopez, Joey Fatone, Nicole Scherzinger, and Sabrina Bryan? I realize that a lot of these people have become too famous to return, but it’s still disappointing. Here’s the current lineup: Helio Castroneves; Shawn Johnson; Bristol Palin; Pamela Anderson; Emmitt Smith; Joey Fatone; Drew Lachey; Gilles Marini; Kelly Monaco; and Apolo Anton Ohno. To be fair, Sabrina Bryan is in the running for the public’s wild-card vote, which also  includes: Carson Kressley; Kyle Massey; and Hines Ward. And couldn’t they find a way to make Brooke Burke host and compete at the same time!? How dare she?! At least we’ll get the return of awkward run-ins between Pamela Anderson and ex-boyfriend David Charvet (also Brooke Burke’s husband).

Tabloid Gossip Review — Don’t Miss the Mess!

  • Robert Pattinson moved out of the home he shared with ‘Twilight’ co-star and future ex girlfriend, Kristen Stewart. ABC
  • Lindsay Lohan had another car accident (sidenote: It might be time for her to go to college and pursue a different career). Starpulse
  • Kourtney Kardashian’s baby-daddy has some very angry ex-girlfriends. MonstersAndCritics
  • ‘Game of Thrones’ star Lena Headey is getting divorced. People
  • Michael Phelps is a human being after all. Los Angeles Times
  • Elisabetta Canalis (A.K.A George Clooney’s ex-girlfriend) reunited with Steve-O (A.K.A. that guy from ‘Jackass’). New York Daily News
  • Demi Moore might have a new man. Hollywood
  • Hollywood’s lost-and-found should charge Nick Stahl an extra fee. USA Today
  • Emily Maynard’s engagement ring cost a lot of money. Ear Sucker
  • Ashton Kutcher and Mila Kunis were spotted kissing. AmyGrindhouse
  • I have no idea is going on in the Jackson family. Radar Online

What Was Gwen Stefani Wearing on Good Morning America?

When people ask me for my favorite celebrity style-icon, I always answer with Gwen Stefani. Though I love Jennifer Lopez, Stefani doesn’t just pick the right clothes, she styles it perfectly. As for what she was wearing on Good Morning America, it’s an OLIMA red frame top and Fendi pants — and calf-length Dr. Martin boots. It’s genius!