When M.I.A gave the audience the finger at the Super Bowl, I was pissed. And apparently, I’m not the only one. Madonna was equally pissed, saying, “I didn’t know about it until I left. I was really surprised. I didn’t know anything about it. “I understand it’s punk rock and everything, but to me there was such a feeling of love and good energy, and positivity. It seemed negative. It’s one of the those things, it’s such a teenager, irrelevant thing to do … what was the point? It was just out of place.” Not only would I be furious about M.I.A.’s desperate need to garner controversy, I’d also be pissed that she stole the spotlight. News articles everywhere were more interested in the ramifications of M.I.A’s action than Madonna herself. So here’s my message to M.I.A — When an icon such as Madonna invites you to her party, you better behave.
Author: The Dishmaster
Brad Paisley v. Paul McCartney — Paisley Insults ‘Kisses on the Bottom’ Album Title
Thanks to Brad Paisley, I finally feel comfortable insulting Paul McCartney’s new album title, Kisses on the Bottom. When I first heard it, I thought: “Either I have a dirty mind, or Paul McCartney really has a romp fetish.” Paisley is the only person with the guts to address the icon’s decision, saying, “It’s only February, but Sir Paul is an absolute lock for worst album title of the year. Actually, maybe all time… It’s like he’s kidding. He’s got to be kidding. Tell me he’s changing the title back to the real one, right? Oh then how we’ll laugh and laugh.” He then rightly took aim at McCartney’s creative team that signed off on the idea, saying, “Dear Team of ‘Yes Men’ surrounding Sir Paul: you really have taken it to a new level. No one said… ‘uh, Sir, uh… what about..um..hey maybe…” I’m actually quite curious what the album title was really meant to suggest. Has my tainted imagination skirted over some very deep, poetic meaning?
“Heartbeat” Video from El Elle — Excellent!
I don’t know how I feel about El Elle’s song “Heartbeat,” but I certainly know how I feel about the video. It’s brilliant. And moderately disturbing. But you know how the old saying goes, “when in doubt — just use fluorescent, pulsating asses.” Watch in awe below.
Heartbeat (EL ELLE 2011) from el elle on Vimeo.
Dawes Appears on Parenthood — Great Decision!
I’ve said it before on The Dishmaster, and I’ll say it again. Television is the single greatest medium to expose musicians to the public. And apparently, Dawes got the memo. They did a cameo on Parenthood, where they played themselves. Though it’s not a very challenging acting task, it was certainly a smart business decision. If you’ve never heard of Dawes, I’d encourage you to click here and listen to their music. They are incredible. The band originated in Los Angeles and is composed of brothers Taylor and Griffin Goldsmith, along with Wylie Gelber and Tay Strathairn. Watch their appearance below.
Piers Morgan on Chelsea Handler — Verbal Smackdown
For those that think Chelsea Handler got her job because of her relationship with the head of E!, I’d encourage you to watch the video below. Piers Morgan attempted to spar with Handler, who trumped every one of his jabs with a better barb of her own. When Piers said Handler “bored” him during her appearance on Piers’ CNN show, she responded with, “why did you get fired from America’s Got Talent?” Piers then referred to Howard Stern’s Super Bowl commercial where Stern blasted children with a big hose, and said, “I’d love to blast you with a big hose.” Handler countered with, “too bad your hose isn’t big enough to blast me with.” Watch below after the jump.
Continue reading “Piers Morgan on Chelsea Handler — Verbal Smackdown”
Courtney Cox on Howard Stern — Still in Love With David Arquette
Courtney Cox is a crazy bag of nuts. She appeared on Howard Stern today to promote Cougar Town, and Stern predictably asked her questions about David Arquette. It was immediately clear that she’s still in love with him, and she’s jealous of Arquette’s new relationship. Need I go further? Can’t these two just work it out? It’s ridiculous. She’s just trading him in for a new man with a new set of problems.
Casey S. Leaves The Bachelor — Still Loves Ex-Boyfriend
This scene on Monday’s episode of The Bachelor broke my heart. I know the immense pain of unrequited love, and the amount of effort it takes to stop making excuses and put aside the thoughts of “what could have been.” I also know what it’s like to be led on into thinking things will change despite a gut instinct that suggests otherwise. So when Casey S. left The Bachelor after her ex-boyfriend revealed to Chris Harrison that she is still in love with him, my heart broke for her. She clearly went on the show in an attempt to move on, and it failed. When she revealed her feelings to Ben Flajnik, he predictably made it all about himself and had absolutely no sympathy for a girl that was clearly in a tremendous amount of pain. Translation? — He’s a heartless, selfish prick and the worst bachelor in history. At least Chris Harrison hugged her.
Connor Cruise in Anti-Gay Controversy? – Leave the Kid Alone
Here’s the only thing I know about football: both the players and the fans are certifiably insane. The players run around a big green field in tights and give each other congratulatory slaps on the ass. They also tackle each other to the ground and then subsequently lay there together for what can only be assumed is a borderline spooning session. As for the fans, they yell very loud at the television while eating greasy foods and pretending as if anything they are saying can actually be heard by the people inside that electronic box. So what’s the impetus behind my Dishmaster-football-rant? Tom Cruise’s son, Connor Cruise, is in trouble for a tweet he wrote in response to his rep’s gloating tweet about the Patriots’ loss, which served to inflate his aforementioned fan-insanity. Connor said, “That was a gay ass f**king tweet… U don’t say s**t like that about my team the second they lose. Low.” The rep subsequently dropped Connor as a client and then sent out emails calling him, “highly offensive, homophobic, and less than respectful.” I have some of my own words for Mr. Todd Krim (the rep in question). First, if you are going to taunt a kid on twitter after his team loses, then you have already crossed the lines of your professional relationship. Second, only a five year old child sends out emails to his colleagues in hopes of getting your client blacklisted in the industry over one comment. And third, using the word “gay” to describe dislike has not yet been universally disavowed in the same way as the F-Word or N-word. Yes, it’s bad and should not be used. But it doesn’t justify trying to trash this kid’s career in it’s entirety. The only child in this situation is Mr. Krim.
Edward Sharpe & The Magnetic Zeros With Aaron Embry
Bill Maher Takes Aim at Internet Commenters — Brilliant!
I’m a huge Bill Maher fan, and I was actually at the show when I heard the joke below. I must have laughed for a solid two minutes. Perhaps it was of particular significance because I’m a blogger, but there’s definitely something about the internet that brings out the anger in everyone. Watch below.