It's Not Gossip, It's Commentary
I don’t know how I feel about El Elle’s song “Heartbeat,” but I certainly know how I feel about the video. It’s brilliant. And moderately disturbing. But you know how the old saying goes, “when in doubt — just use fluorescent, pulsating asses.” Watch in awe below.
Heartbeat (EL ELLE 2011) from el elle on Vimeo.
I’ve said it before on The Dishmaster, and I’ll say it again. Television is the single greatest medium to expose musicians to the public. And apparently, Dawes got the memo. They did a cameo on Parenthood, where they played themselves. Though it’s not a very challenging acting task, it was certainly a smart business decision. If you’ve never heard of Dawes, I’d encourage you to click here and listen to their music. They are incredible. The band originated in Los Angeles and is composed of brothers Taylor and Griffin Goldsmith, along with Wylie Gelber and Tay Strathairn. Watch their appearance below.
For those that think Chelsea Handler got her job because of her relationship with the head of E!, I’d encourage you to watch the video below. Piers Morgan attempted to spar with Handler, who trumped every one of his jabs with a better barb of her own. When Piers said Handler “bored” him during her appearance on Piers’ CNN show, she responded with, “why did you get fired from America’s Got Talent?” Piers then referred to Howard Stern’s Super Bowl commercial where Stern blasted children with a big hose, and said, “I’d love to blast you with a big hose.” Handler countered with, “too bad your hose isn’t big enough to blast me with.” Watch below after the jump.
Continue reading “Piers Morgan on Chelsea Handler — Verbal Smackdown”
Courtney Cox is a crazy bag of nuts. She appeared on Howard Stern today to promote Cougar Town, and Stern predictably asked her questions about David Arquette. It was immediately clear that she’s still in love with him, and she’s jealous of Arquette’s new relationship. Need I go further? Can’t these two just work it out? It’s ridiculous. She’s just trading him in for a new man with a new set of problems.
This scene on Monday’s episode of The Bachelor broke my heart. I know the immense pain of unrequited love, and the amount of effort it takes to stop making excuses and put aside the thoughts of “what could have been.” I also know what it’s like to be led on into thinking things will change despite a gut instinct that suggests otherwise. So when Casey S. left The Bachelor after her ex-boyfriend revealed to Chris Harrison that she is still in love with him, my heart broke for her. She clearly went on the show in an attempt to move on, and it failed. When she revealed her feelings to Ben Flajnik, he predictably made it all about himself and had absolutely no sympathy for a girl that was clearly in a tremendous amount of pain. Translation? — He’s a heartless, selfish prick and the worst bachelor in history. At least Chris Harrison hugged her.
Here’s the only thing I know about football: both the players and the fans are certifiably insane. The players run around a big green field in tights and give each other congratulatory slaps on the ass. They also tackle each other to the ground and then subsequently lay there together for what can only be assumed is a borderline spooning session. As for the fans, they yell very loud at the television while eating greasy foods and pretending as if anything they are saying can actually be heard by the people inside that electronic box. So what’s the impetus behind my Dishmaster-football-rant? Tom Cruise’s son, Connor Cruise, is in trouble for a tweet he wrote in response to his rep’s gloating tweet about the Patriots’ loss, which served to inflate his aforementioned fan-insanity. Connor said, “That was a gay ass f**king tweet… U don’t say s**t like that about my team the second they lose. Low.” The rep subsequently dropped Connor as a client and then sent out emails calling him, “highly offensive, homophobic, and less than respectful.” I have some of my own words for Mr. Todd Krim (the rep in question). First, if you are going to taunt a kid on twitter after his team loses, then you have already crossed the lines of your professional relationship. Second, only a five year old child sends out emails to his colleagues in hopes of getting your client blacklisted in the industry over one comment. And third, using the word “gay” to describe dislike has not yet been universally disavowed in the same way as the F-Word or N-word. Yes, it’s bad and should not be used. But it doesn’t justify trying to trash this kid’s career in it’s entirety. The only child in this situation is Mr. Krim.
I’m a huge Bill Maher fan, and I was actually at the show when I heard the joke below. I must have laughed for a solid two minutes. Perhaps it was of particular significance because I’m a blogger, but there’s definitely something about the internet that brings out the anger in everyone. Watch below.
The late comedian Drake Sather once said that he wished he’d waited to perform on Letterman, because he wasn’t ready for the success that happened immediately thereafter. He didn’t have enough material, and the attention he gained as a result of his performance waned far too quickly. When I read that interview with Sather, I thought, “That can’t be true. If you waited, you might have forgone an opportunity that would never come your way again. You might have never had the experience of performing on that coveted stage, and you could have spent the rest of your life kicking yourself and living the regret of “the guy who turned down David Letterman.” But Lana Del Rey’s recent performance on Saturday Night Live might have confirmed Sather’s theory — there’s just no room for error. She performed on SNL because Lorne Michaels took a liking to her, and she was a media flop. The public didn’t get it, and they tore her apart. She then performed on Letterman, but she failed to redeem herself in the public’s eyes. And rumors are now circulating that she’s working on her stage presence.
But there’s something very important that the public is missing amidst this debacle. She’s fucking good. The SNL performance was terrible — that is for certain. And it’s unfortunate that she got really bad clothing and hair advice in addition to what was presumably a stage-fright-meltdown. That being said — I have absolutely no idea why every blogger and news outlet wants to take an artist with talent and throw rocks at her. If the public feels the need to attack her, then don’t complain that the radio is filled with musical garbage, because the only people meant to succeed in our unforgiving country are over-produced robots that spend more time on their image than their music. Watch her performance on Saturday Night Live and Letterman below, along with SNL’s very funny Kristen Wiig sketch, which comes to Lana Del Rey’s defense.
You’d think that when a woman was physically abused for most of her marriage, her friends would have a little sympathy. Sure Taylor Armstrong is doing a press tour about it, but as I said before, if her late husband spent most of her marriage beating her up, then she’s entitled to make a little money off of it. And if it helps victims of abuse in the process, then so be it. Apparently, Brandi Glanville not only disagrees, she takes his side. Some people have no shame.