If it’s true that Snooki is pregnant, I sure hope she saved her money. Her entire career is predicated on partying, and those days are officially over. Who wants to see Snooki breast feeding a baby in the Jersey Shore house? Actually, what am I saying?! That sounds like must-see-television! Congratulations, Snooki! Watch Snooki deny her pregnancy to Lara Spencer in the video below, which is now being deemed by the New York Post as a lie.
Category: Television
Dancing With the Stars Season 14 Cast Revealed — Maksim Returns!
ABC revealed the new cast for Dancing With the Stars, and it’s already clear this will be a great season. First, despite all of the controversy he caused last year, Maksim Chmerkovskiy will return to the show. That’s good news considering he’s pretty much the only reason I watch. Second, there are some good stars this year, including Jaleel White (better known as “Steve Urkel”). Since I’ve been complaining that Dancing With the Stars has become a career launcher rather than a career salvager, that is also good news. And who doesn’t want to see the legendary Gladys Knight every week? To see the rest of the cast, click here.
Courtney Cox on Anderson — Calls ‘Cougar Town’ Title a “Mistake”
How many times will the Cougar Town folks blame the title for the bad ratings? I hate to be the bearer of bad news — but it’s not the title. In fact, the title is probably what initially drew viewers to the show. There are plenty of great shows that don’t get good ratings (see Arrested Development). You might be wondering why they chose such a campy title in the first place only to later complain about it. Here’s the short of it: Producers and writers can’t get studios and networks to put shows on the air these days without gimmicks. In today’s television world, you’d never see Mad About You, Cheers, or even Seinfeld (which would have been canceled after its low ratings in season one). But even though a show needs a gimmick to get the green light, a gimmick doesn’t guarantee its failure. I’m therefore fully confident that Cougar Town would have the same ratings with or without that title. Click the link below to see her interview.
Courtney Cox Calls Cougar Town a “Mistake”
Dawes Appears on Parenthood — Great Decision!
I’ve said it before on The Dishmaster, and I’ll say it again. Television is the single greatest medium to expose musicians to the public. And apparently, Dawes got the memo. They did a cameo on Parenthood, where they played themselves. Though it’s not a very challenging acting task, it was certainly a smart business decision. If you’ve never heard of Dawes, I’d encourage you to click here and listen to their music. They are incredible. The band originated in Los Angeles and is composed of brothers Taylor and Griffin Goldsmith, along with Wylie Gelber and Tay Strathairn. Watch their appearance below.
Connor Cruise in Anti-Gay Controversy? – Leave the Kid Alone
Here’s the only thing I know about football: both the players and the fans are certifiably insane. The players run around a big green field in tights and give each other congratulatory slaps on the ass. They also tackle each other to the ground and then subsequently lay there together for what can only be assumed is a borderline spooning session. As for the fans, they yell very loud at the television while eating greasy foods and pretending as if anything they are saying can actually be heard by the people inside that electronic box. So what’s the impetus behind my Dishmaster-football-rant? Tom Cruise’s son, Connor Cruise, is in trouble for a tweet he wrote in response to his rep’s gloating tweet about the Patriots’ loss, which served to inflate his aforementioned fan-insanity. Connor said, “That was a gay ass f**king tweet… U don’t say s**t like that about my team the second they lose. Low.” The rep subsequently dropped Connor as a client and then sent out emails calling him, “highly offensive, homophobic, and less than respectful.” I have some of my own words for Mr. Todd Krim (the rep in question). First, if you are going to taunt a kid on twitter after his team loses, then you have already crossed the lines of your professional relationship. Second, only a five year old child sends out emails to his colleagues in hopes of getting your client blacklisted in the industry over one comment. And third, using the word “gay” to describe dislike has not yet been universally disavowed in the same way as the F-Word or N-word. Yes, it’s bad and should not be used. But it doesn’t justify trying to trash this kid’s career in it’s entirety. The only child in this situation is Mr. Krim.
Leave Lana Del Rey Alone — The Girl is Good
The late comedian Drake Sather once said that he wished he’d waited to perform on Letterman, because he wasn’t ready for the success that happened immediately thereafter. He didn’t have enough material, and the attention he gained as a result of his performance waned far too quickly. When I read that interview with Sather, I thought, “That can’t be true. If you waited, you might have forgone an opportunity that would never come your way again. You might have never had the experience of performing on that coveted stage, and you could have spent the rest of your life kicking yourself and living the regret of “the guy who turned down David Letterman.” But Lana Del Rey’s recent performance on Saturday Night Live might have confirmed Sather’s theory — there’s just no room for error. She performed on SNL because Lorne Michaels took a liking to her, and she was a media flop. The public didn’t get it, and they tore her apart. She then performed on Letterman, but she failed to redeem herself in the public’s eyes. And rumors are now circulating that she’s working on her stage presence.
But there’s something very important that the public is missing amidst this debacle. She’s fucking good. The SNL performance was terrible — that is for certain. And it’s unfortunate that she got really bad clothing and hair advice in addition to what was presumably a stage-fright-meltdown. That being said — I have absolutely no idea why every blogger and news outlet wants to take an artist with talent and throw rocks at her. If the public feels the need to attack her, then don’t complain that the radio is filled with musical garbage, because the only people meant to succeed in our unforgiving country are over-produced robots that spend more time on their image than their music. Watch her performance on Saturday Night Live and Letterman below, along with SNL’s very funny Kristen Wiig sketch, which comes to Lana Del Rey’s defense.
‘Gossip Girl’ Spoiler — Blair Runs Away While Wolf Gang Plays
Television is the single greatest vehicle to bring an underground musician to the masses. So it’s time to congratulate Wolf Gang, who had his song, “Suego Faults,” featured on The CW’s Gossip Girl. And in case you haven’t heard of Wolf Gang, you can lean more about his brilliance here. As an aside, when will the writers unite Chuck and Blair? They are the single greatest on-screen couple since Brenda and Dylan.
Q’Viva Debuts — It’s Amazing!
When I heard the ratings report on Q’Viva I thought its success was largely attributed to the curiosity surrounding Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony’s post-divorce interaction. Then I watched the show. And it’s very good. Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony travel the world looking for talent, and they definitely find it. There’s a certain type of magic and grit obtained when watching performers in their native country that is impossible to capture otherwise. This show has heart. It might have single-handedly revived my talent-show fatigue. Watch below.
‘Fear Factor’ Contestants Drink Donkey Semen — NBC Condones Bestiality?
Though I don’t personally know the executives and producers behind NBC’s Fear Factor, I certainly know their type. They’re bloated, narcissistic, career-driven douches that have lived in the reality television world just long enough to lose all sense of reality. So in case you’re inquiring about the source of my rage, it’s about TMZ’s report that the contestants of Fear Factor will drink donkey semen during one of the stunts. And yes — you read that correctly. This is akin to bestiality, and it’s deplorable. For the next stunt, perhaps the producers should have the contestants actually blow the donkey? Why not, right? It is reality television after all, and if you’re going to drink the semen you might as well work for it.
‘Grey’s Anatomy’ Addresses Abortion — Great Episode
I have to give Grey’s Anatomy creator Shonda Rimes a lot of credit. There are very few shows that can climb out of a writing slump so successfully. The show has been completely resurrected, and it’s better than ever. In the scene below, watch the very gifted Sandra Oh and Kevin McKidd discuss abortion.