I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. When you’re a Hollywood A-lister, you have a responsibility to maintain your mystique. When you start to make too many appearances and make poor professional choices, you ruin your brand, and you border on becoming an accessible reality star. Such is the case with Jim Carrey. Watch below.
Kim Kardashian Loses $75,000 Earring — High Maintenance?
At times in my life I’ve been accused of being “high maintenance.” Though I’m certainly a plant that needs constant watering, I can assure you — I am not as high maintenance as Kim Kardashian. During a trip to Bora Bora with her then boyfriend Kris Humphries, Humphries threw her in the ocean, which caused her to lose a $75,000 earring. As a result, she cried hysterically while Humphries looked puzzled. Perhaps she shouldn’t wear diamonds to the ocean? Maybe next time she’ll wear a full gown too. At least she makes her man a ton of money — that probably makes up for the headache he received later that day. As an aside, Kim’s face disturbingly doesn’t move when she cries. Too much botox?
Quote of the Day — ‘Columbiana’ Movie Review
“Co-writer and co-producer Luc Besson tries a new spin on his tried-and-true “La Femme Nikita” formula, but the results are so clumsy and over-the-top that they should have just called the movie “Panty Assassin” and played the whole thing for laughs.” Alonso Duralde very funny movie review of Zoe Saldana’s new film, ‘Columbiana.’
Vintage Interview: Hugh Hefner Talks Playboy
My favorite law school professor once said, “people think the United States moves at a snail pace. That’s true of everything but sex.” At the time, he was discussing obscenity laws, but the vintage Hugh Hefner interview below reminded me of his claim. It’s interesting to see how revolutionary Playboy magazine was, propelled by Hugh Hefner’s own chutzpah. Sure there’s still a plethora of people preaching abstinence, but we’ve definitely come a long way. Watch below.
Quote of the Day — Did Will Smith and Jade Pinkett Split Up?
“What? In Touch said that? I know nothing about this … Lord. I’m going back to bed.” Will Smith and Jada Pinkett’s rep, Karynne Tencer, on whether In Touch Weekly’s report is true that the superstar couple separated.
Paul Simon’s New Album — ‘So Beautiful or So What’ — Incredible
Despite being The Dishmaster, there are times I think I’m living under a rock. I’m constantly in search of new bands to write about, and I lose sight of the reliable legends. One such legend is Paul Simon, who released his new album, So Beautiful or So What, in April — and I’m embarrassed to admit that I only just discovered it. Most of the information I receive is via word of mouth, and this album never hit my direction. So I will take this opportunity to make it up to Paul Simon, who I fantasize about interviewing one day. His latest effort is just as high-quality as his earlier albums, and some reviewers compared it to Graceland. Loyal fan or not — you must buy it. I’d also like to congratulate him on still contributing to his art form, which is very unlike some of his early comrades who no longer write new music (hear that Billy Joel?).
So Beautiful Or So What by Paul Simon
Movie Review — ‘Rise of Planet of the Apes’
I asked one of my editors to write me a review of ‘Rise of Planet of the Apes’ tonight, primarily because I’m over-worked, and I thought, “that’s what my editors are for, right? They take the burden off of me when I want a mini-vacation.” He insisted that he’s “way under-slept,” and he’s “being harassed by a “very dumb black and white cat who does not know how her claws work.” Since I’m a convincing boss, I insisted, and he delivered what has to be the worst movie review I’ve ever read. But because I needed a laugh, and he delivered — I’m posting his review in its entirety. Enjoy!
If I had to describe it in one word: Awesome. If I get two words: Super-Awesome.
But I must admit up front that I am super-biased. Why?
1. I am a discerning dude who loves the appropriate kind of movie destruction – and I think destruction by Apes is very appropro.
2. I love James Franco (but I am not gay)
To dispel all suspicions to the contrary this film is not a remake of any of the old Planet of the Apes films, it is a reboot – this story has not been done before.
Notwithstanding this hyper-technical factoid, any type of remake, reboot, revisit of prior films poses all kinds of risks of a major letdown. Fortunately, I myself have no stake in the original series.
You have to take this film for what it is. It is not high art. There are gaps in the plot. But overall it is an exciting and enthralling film.
As a foundation, it effectively offers character sketches of the three strong lead actors: James Franco as a passionate, flighty, and somewhat socially inept scientist bent on helping the world; John Lithgow as a father struggling with Alzheimer’s, and Caesar the lead ape, the movie is really about him and they really did a great job humanizing this ape.
And then the film added some themes that I really like: humans tampering with the natural order, existentialism, and animal rights.
Finally, as one would hope, the apes (I am so tempted to call them monkeys but they aren’t), kick major ass – they tear things apart, they ride horses, they defeat the SWAT team – you can’t go wrong, here. I mean if you are not into the ape carnage, still see it for Franco and Lithgow.
OVERALL RATING: 4/5 DISHES
Quote of the Day — Paul Stanley of ‘Kiss’
“We were a little more traditional and stuck with names our children hopefully won’t regret when they grow up. Your kids aren’t objects for amusement, so why would you give them a name that would subject them to possible ridicule at school? Kids can be pretty tough on each other, and who wants to put a child named Spaghetti through school?” Paul Stanley on why he named his newborn Emily instead of adhering to the current celebrity trend of wacky baby names.
Tabloid Gossip Week-in-Review: Breakups, Makeups, & Babies
 |
- Kim Kardashian is married. Huffington Post
- Country singer, Chely Wright, married her longtime partner. Los Angeles Times
- Magician David Copperfield has a daughter. E! Online
- Clueless’ Donald Faison and Jessica Simpson’s former assistant, Cacee Cobb, are engaged. People
- John Mellancamp and his wife are officially divorced. Entertainment Weekly
- Is Marc Anthony harassing Jennifer Lopez? Us Weekly
- Prince Harry is single and coming to America. Daily Beast
- Jessica Alba gave birth. Radar Online
- Kate Hudson debuted the first picture of her son. She Knows
- Hilary Duff is pregnant. Just Jared
Dear Christine O’Donnell — If you Don’t Support Gay Marriage — You’re a Bigot
While sitting in my law school class one day, my lesbian friend couldn’t understand how it’s constitutional to prohibit gay marriage if ‘Loving v. Virginia’ says “marriage is a fundamental right.” I quickly explained that ‘Loving’ only said it was a fundamental right for a black person and white person to get married, and the courts have decided that the case doesn’t apply to gay people. After all, if that case did apply to gay people, isn’t that a slippery slope? Wouldn’t we then be able to marry dogs (that’s a joke by the way — and it’s unfortunately been an argument often used against same-sex couples tying the knot). But I turned to my gay friend and quickly said, “equal rights will come last for gay people on this issue — and it’s sad how long it’s taking.” So what’s my point?
Christine O’Donnell marched off Piers Morgan when he asked for her views on gay marriage, and I’ve concluded she can join Michele Bachman on my bigot list. If a politician was racist, they wouldn’t dare publicly expose their racist views on national television. They would simply lie about it until they got busted by a random kid with a camera phone while drunkenly spouting racist remarks at a bar somewhere. Had O’Donnell behaved this way if Piers asked for her views on inter-racial marriage, the entire country would call her racist, and she’d be publicly lambasted. But for some reason, when the subject of gay marriage is on the table, the world is asked to “accept opposing views” on the issue, because “we live in a country that welcomes everyone’s ideas.”
I don’t accept the views of bigots. Not in my country.