There is a lot of Susan Boyle buzz surrounding Jackie Evancho, the very talented 10-year-old opera singer, that surprised the judges on America’s Got Talent. Is it just me, or is everyone and their mother (literally) now compared to Susan Boyle when they have a good voice? I feel the need to remind all these ridiculous journalists why Susan Boyle was such a sensation, so that I can put an end to these wrongful and annoying comparisons. When Boyle walked in, the judges pre-determined her talent based on her haggard appearance, and odd personality. So when she belted out one of the best performances in history, it was a big in-your-face, and a true representation of the “don’t judge a book by it’s cover” saying. Though a ten-year-old isn’t expected to sing opera, that hardly warrants a Boyle comparison. Surprise alone won’t do it. You need a little disrespect too. I’d list all of the other America’s Got Talent contestants that have been compared to Boyle, but there is far to many too name. See Evancho’s performance below. It’s worth watching.
Curvy Actresses — Who Are They? Part II
I’ve made it a personal mission to bring back the “curvy girls,” in Hollywood. Since I forgot some women in my first curvy actresses post, I’m doing another one. I imagine I have forgotten some this time around as well, so expect many more of these. Enjoy!
Modern Family’s Sofia Vergara
Mad Men’s Elisabeth Moss
Kristin Davis
Kate Winslet — My brother is madly in love with her, and often tells me that she’s so beautiful he cannot watch her films, because it saddens him that they will never date in real life. So Kate, call my brother.
Rose McGowan
Lindsay Lohan — yes she was an actress at one point in her life.
Jennifer Tilly — She doesn’t have to act another day in her life. She married and divorced Sam Simon, a creator of The Simpsons, and gets half of all his profit from the show. Translation? Millions and millions.
Teri Hatcher Posts Unflattering Pictures of Herself — Is This Necessary?
I know that her heart is in the right place, but celebrities everywhere should take note of this. You don’t always have to answer your critics! Especially when “answering” them, involves posting unflattering pictures of yourself to prove that you are sans-botox. There is a certain level of mystery I’d like my celebrities to maintain, and if that means you are only photographed when you’re “camera-ready,” so be it. Take it as a compliment that people think you’ve had work done. You might notice that I only post pictures of celebrities looking their best, primarily because I’m pretty superficial, and unsightly photos would ruin my aesthetic. Perhaps Teri Hatcher should take a note from The Dishmaster handbook the next time she wants to impulsively tweet. On that note, if you’d like to see the photos in question, click here. Further reading: John Cusack Proves that Celebrities Need to Get Off Twitter.
Tribute to Christina Hendricks — I Love Her
I’m admittedly not an avid Mad Men fan, but Christina Hendricks has been on my radar since her interview on Chelsea Lately, when Chelsea called her voluptuous, and Hendricks appeared annoyed. Now, she’s learned to take it as a compliment, and represents all curvy-girls across America. In an interview with Deadline, she furthered my affection for her, by saying that she would stay on Mad Men forever if she could, and has no desire to leave the show for films. It’s refreshing to hear an an actress appreciate of the role that makes them famous, unlike every cast member of Grey’s Anatomy that has bashed their show in interviews. It’s also refreshing to see a beautiful woman on television that isn’t either overweight, or an underweight stick-figure. Here, you’ve got a sexy, humble actress that looks like a normal human being.
Bill O’Reilly Attacks Jennifer Aniston — Slow “News” Day?
Bill O’Reilly attacked Jennifer Aniston for saying that women don’t necessarily need a man to have a baby. Is this “news” now? I wasn’t aware that Fox News became Entertainment Tonight, nor was I aware that Jennifer Aniston’s press tour for The Switch, would result in her every word being picked apart by Bill O’Reilly, who is apparently against single-parent adoption, judging by his comments. I’d surmise that he’s also against gay adoption, given that he is so “traditional,” but since I don’t take the time to regularly watch his show, that’s merely a conjecture based on my douche barometer. Maybe O’Reilly and Aniston can kiss and make-up with a loofa. (If you don’t get that reference, I’m not explaining it — it’s far too gross for details).
Mia Michaels Isn’t Racist — She Has Black Friends
So You Think You Can Dance choreographer, Mia Michaels, was recently accused of racism, for what many thought was an unfair elimination of a black dancer from the show. The black dancer in question is AdéChiké Torbert, and Michaels insists that he was eliminated because he was not one of the “strongest dancers,” and he “would not have been around as long as he was [without] all the injuries [during the] season.” Michaels is taking so much heat because she also consistently insulted Brandon from Season 5, who was an incredible black, male dancer that everyone but Michaels fawned over. While I’m pretty sure that it’s not fair to accuse Michaels of racism based on a two-person case sample, I found Michaels’ defense extremely annoying. Must she wax-on about how everyone she has ever met in her life is black? Did you know she was even engaged to a black man? Seriously, just say you’re not racist, and move on. No need for ridiculous monologues about how you love black people.
Jessica Simpson Airbrushing — It’s Not Her Fault
Jessica Simpson is getting heat for her airbrushed pictures in Lucky Magazine, particularly because she spent most of the interview discussing how comfortable she is with her “fuller” body. Though I usually don’t take the time to defend Jessica Simpson, I’ve decided to change my policy on this one. Simpson has absolutely nothing to do with Lucky Magazine’s decision to airbrush her. She might suggest that they don’t, but the ultimate decision lies with the magazine, and she has no control. Plus, I doubt she’s gonna throw her weight around for a much-coveted magazine cover (no pun intended). So leave the girl alone please.
Montana Fishburne Gets Exactly What She Wants — Fame
Despite my incredible urge, I’m not going to comment on the mental capacity of Montana Fishburne, because I’m begrudgingly trying to stay positive. Instead, I’ll pick on the mental capacity of Giuliana Rancic and E!, for the ridiculous interview below. Does Giuliana hope to be an actual reporter, and she’s practicing on Montana Fishburne while she awaits her Barbara Walters promotion? If you remove all the bells and whistles (i.e. the Laurence Fishburne connection, along with the faux-serious interior decorating), you’ve just got an interview with a porn star. Hey, I’ve got nothing against porn stars, but I just hope Rancic makes this a niche for herself, because she’s clearly got a talent. Plus, who doesn’t want to hear what a porn star has to say?
Remaking Television Shows — Is There Such a Thing?
I read an article that referenced 90210’s Matt Lanter making an appearance on True Blood, and I had to look him up because I never heard his name before. I thought surely if he was on Beverly Hills 90210 I would have heard of him. Did David Silver have a best friend other than Scott (if you don’t get that reference, you should be ashamed of yourself)? Upon researching further, I realized that Matt Lanter is actually on the “remake” of Beverly Hills 90210, which is referred to as 90210 — and I became infuriated. It’s bad enough that the CW butchered my favorite television show of all-time, but now they are confusing me on top of it? Second, there is no such thing as “remaking” a television show. You might be able to “resurrect” it by bringing all the old characters back and continuing the storyline, but unlike a movie, you cannot copy an entire plot (which, in television, consists of a bazillion episodes). Yes I realize that the “concept” involved a family from a small town moving to Los Angeles, but that is literally the only similarity. How many shows have the same fish-out-of-water concept and don’t use the coveted 90210 title? It’s a cheap way to get viewers, and if you’re gonna do it, at least make it quality.