Today is a very sad day. Why? Because I can’t get Willow Smith’s new song, Whip My Hair, out of my head, and she’s only nine years old. It’s embarrassing, and I’ve been holding off on posting the video because I’ve been too busy self-loathing about whipping my hair to a nine year old’s music. I wouldn’t be a genuine blogger though, if I withheld my opinion from the world, so consider yourselves blessed with my honesty. The video is great, and it proves that you don’t need to sexualize young children to be successful. It isn’t about the fact that she’s only nine years old and making music. It’s about the fact that she’s too young to dress like a slut, yet her music is still getting air-play. I think this proves that older girls don’t need to wear leotards with their crotch hanging out to get their song on the radio. Watch the video below.
Author: The Dishmaster
Dear Media, Stop Reporting Playboy Offers
Part of my job as a professional blogger is to read an insane amount of news daily. In reading much of the mindless dribble, I constantly come across the same story — what new celebrity was offered money to pose nude for Playboy. I’m sick of it. Playboy whores out offers to celebrities daily, mostly because they’ll take just about any Z-lister to pose nude, because a naked “name” will increase sales for the magazine. Even though Playboy knows that mostly all celebrities will decline the offer, they still email every news outlet on the planet to make them aware that the offer was made. Why? Because the offer alone, combined with a big name, equals promotion for the magazine. It’s a cheap way to advertise, and enough is enough. I’ve posted the latest stories below.
Jersey Shore’s JWOWW turns down $400,000 Playboy offer. Pop Crunch
TV Reporter Ines Sainz declines naked Playboy photo shoot. Huffington Post
The Dirty Won’t Remove Naked Erin Andrews Pictures — Will Nik Richie Rot in Hell?
Erin Andrews is a warrior. Not only did she have a psycho stalker take naked pictures of her that ended up all over the internet, but she continues to fight every single website that keeps her photos posted. So when I read that she had her lawyer send a letter to TheDirty.com, asking them to remove the naked pictures of her, I assumed they would be taken down immediately. Why? Because no one is possibly that evil, right? Once a stalker-victim contacts you directly, wouldn’t your ounce of humanity kick in? Apparently, TheDirty.com, doesn’t believe in humanity, and they updated their post after receiving Andrews’ letter, to say, “are these the pictures your lawyer wants me to remove? I’m confused.” In case you’re not aware, TheDirty.com is run by Nik Richie, who is married to Shayne Lamas of The Bachelor fame. Lamas broke up with Bachelor Matt Grant, because “she thought she was marrying a banker, and then found out he really wanted to be a television host.” It’s nice to know Shayne found someone with better career standards. Congratulations on trading up.
Why I’m Not Watching This Season’s Apprentice
I confess that I’m an avid fan of competition television. I love Project Runway, and I’ve always looked forward to The Apprentice. When The Apprentice started to cast celebrities, I was first opposed to the idea, and then I started to watch it and immediately got hooked. I love seeing whether celebrities are actually capable of executing intelligent business decisions. The greatest surprise in the history of the show was Bret Michaels. Had you asked me what I thought of him prior to The Apprentice, I would have said he is “dumb as rocks” (Rock of Love pun intended). Then I saw him on Celebrity Apprentice, and he blew me out of the water (no Rock of Love pun intended). So when Trump announced that they would return to the original format of the show, and cast “regular people,” I was very disappointed. Last night, I tried to watch this season, and I turned it off twenty minutes in. I will attempt to explain my reason by using an analogy. Say you love ordering lasagna at Italian restaurants. Then, after years of ordering lasagna, you come to my house for dinner, eat my mother’s lasagna, and realize that you’ve been eating terrible lasagna your whole life. Once you’ve tasted gourmet, it’s over. Make sense? Why do I want to watch a bunch of nobodies taking themselves so damn seriously? At least when it’s ridiculous Hollywood types, I can justify it by saying they’ve been pampered for the last 15 years and can’t adjust to being bossed around. Alright, please feel free to use that genius analogy elsewhere — I won’t copyright it.
Why NPR Should Not Have Fired Juan Williams
NPR commentator Juan Williams was fired for telling Bill O’Reilly that he gets nervous when Muslims get on an airplane in “full garb.” Many are outraged over his firing, accusing NPR of being “too politically correct.” Here’s my feeling on this issue. It’s not okay for people to group all Muslims in the same category as terrorists. That being said, people do. Many people would have the same reaction as Juan Williams, but just don’t want to say it out loud. I don’t think he’s a bigot for having those feelings, but I do think that we need to find a way to have an open discussion without firing people. When you squash those conversations, you move this from being an overt issue to being a covert issue, and that certainly doesn’t help us find a solution. Furthermore, as Barbara Walters (also known as the Queen of my world) pointed out on The View, Williams is a commentator and not a journalist, which means he’s paid to express his opinion, liked or not.
Dianna Agron on Glee GQ Photo-Shoot: “Everyone Else Does it”
Dianna Agron wrote a ridiculous apology on her blog, and it clearly proves that she still doesn’t understand the problem with the GQ photo-shoot. She apologizes and then says, “in the land of Madonna, Britney, Miley, ‘Gossip Girl,’ other public figures and shows that have pushed the envelope and challenged the levels of comfort in their viewers and fans… we are not the first.” I’m going to break this down for both Dianna, and for GQ Magazine, who defended their uncreative photographer by saying, “these ‘kids’ are in their twenties and should be able to “do what they want.” Here goes. The problem is not that Glee is a family show, and young children will be exposed to the magazine. The problem is that women in the entertainment industry are consistently sexualized by men, and yet they continue to pose nearly naked. Do you ever see Reese Witherspoon on the cover of a magazine in her underwear? She’s the only celebrity that has spoken out about her deliberate choice to keep her clothes on in photo-shoots. It isn’t necessary, and the next time the photographer comes up with the unoriginal idea, perhaps Lea Michele and Dianna Agron should stand up for themselves.
Dear Celebrities, Stop Asking Us To Focus on “More Important” Things
In response to the outrage over the Glee GQ cover, bad-boy Mark Salling said he thinks it’s “not a big deal,” because “people are starving,” and “there’s more important things to worry about in the world.” Can celebrities stop making this argument when trying to circumvent tabloid criticism? I’m fully capable of focusing on world peace and a slutty GQ cover at the same time. Isn’t it funny how much information my pea-sized-brain can actually handle? How about I focus on those things and stop watching Glee altogether (since that other stuff is so much more important)? The cover was gross and unnecessary. Accept responsibility and move on.
Mel Gibson’s Hangover 2 Cameo Cancelled — Is Zach Galifianakis to Blame?
I knew the blogosphere was against Mel Gibson’s appearance in Hangover 2, but I wasn’t aware that the entire cast disapproved as well. According to director Todd Phillips, Gibson’s appearance was canceled because, “the cast and crew was not on board.” I assume that Zach Galifianakis is amongst the objectors, because in a recent interview he said, “[A] movie you’re acting in, you don’t have a lot of control — you just show up and vomit your lines out. I’m not the boss. I’m in a deep protest right now with a movie I’m working on, up in arms about something. But I can’t get the guys to [listen] … I’m not making any leeway.” First of all, I’m assuming that Galifianakis meant “headway” and not “leeway,” but I’ll give him some leeway (pun intended), because he was so angry when he discussed the issue. Second, I almost considered not writing this post because Galifianakis’ name is so hard to spell, but then I thought: you’re The Dishmaster, just use copy and paste!” Anyways, I’m glad to see that Hollywood has at least some semblance of morality left.
UPDATE: Mel Gibson’s camp called the Hangover cast a bunch of hypocrites, seeing as how they had no problem employing Mike Tyson, who is a convicted rapist. Good point.
Kristen Stewart — The Worst Talk Show Guest Ever
There’s something very funny about Kristen Stewart — and it’s unintentional. She often appears on talk shows to promote new projects, and she can barely put two sentences together during the interview. I imagine that she’s insanely nervous, because I can’t think of any other explanation. I doubt she sits at home and thinks, “I’m going to make Regis and Kelly squirm by only giving them one-word-answers to every question. Regis and Kelly probably come up with a list of 500 questions for the six minute segment, given that each answer is just two seconds long. I’ve also seen her on Letterman, and Letterman almost always holds up pictures of various things during her segment to fill the time. These hosts would be better off booking a Z-lister, who likely would make a better interview. Watch below — it’s very funny.
Tony Danza’s ‘Teach’ — The Best New Show on Television
I became interested in Tony Danza’s new show, Teach, after reading a great review on Reality Blurred. Last night, I finally took the time to watch the show, and it’s fantastic. Teach follows Tony Danza during his first year as an English teacher at Philadelphia’s Northeast High School. It’s less of a reality show and more of a documentary, and I think it accurately portrays the struggles of teaching. Danza has an instructor monitoring his class to give him teaching tips, and he’s always willing to learn. Because it’s Tony Danza I was particularly surprised at his investment in the job. That’s likely because I’m an egomaniac, and I imagine that if I was in the same position, and the students were talking back to me, I might yell out something like, “I don’t have to be here! I’m a Hollywood actor!” Not Danza though. He’s endlessly endearing and would not dream of taking his job for granted. Plus, these kids never watched Who’s The Boss, and even if they did, I’m not sure it would make much difference to them. I’ve attached the trailer below. If you want to watch more, click the link before the video.
TONY DANZA — TEACH