Author: The Dishmaster
Conan O’Brien’s Image Errors — It’s Time to Look Rich
Ever since Conan O’Brien began promoting his new TBS show, he’s acting like a wounded bird that traded the big-guys (the network) for the underdogs (cable). He has yet to shave that depression-laced beard, and he’s answering fan questions on his facebook page via youtube, from an “office” that looks like my college dorm room. I presume he’s trying to connect with his young viewers by looking “one with the people,” but he’s instead coming off as sad leftovers. When Conan originally chose TBS, it was portrayed in the media that he turned down FOX (the big bad network world), because he wanted more creative freedom, and plus, “cable is the future.” So here’s my question: does the “future” have an office with a view?
Chelsea Handler Panned by Same Critics who Panned Russell Brand
Is there some sort of journalism school that critics go to, where they teach them how to be incessantly negative, regardless of quality? Chelsea Handler hosted the Video Music Awards, and to be expected, the critics bashed her. Almost every single host for the Video Music Awards has been bashed by critics, including the great Russell Brand, who was initially slaughtered in the press, and then invited back the following year, once Mtv saw its ratings jump. Similar to Brand, Chelsea Handler’s hosting stint brought huge ratings, despite the criticism. To prove my point, I’ve compiled a list of the arbitrarily harsh critics that insulted Handler, and pulled their very same critiques of Russell Brand. Enjoy!
New York Times
Chelsea Handler: “And then there was the awkward plight of the night’s host, Chelsea Handler. She was among the worst in the show’s history — purposefully out-of-touch, with brief, alarming flashes of off-color racial humor.”
Russell Brand: “He was the host of last year’s MTV Video Music Awards, where he was mischievous but seemed slightly pale and lost, a potty-mouth Ziggy Stardust brought down to earth. That’s about all, though.”
Headline Planet — Brian Cantor
Chelsea Handler: “Humor was also much appreciated, given how intently host Chelsea Handler tried to murder comedy over the course of the broadcast.”
Russell Brand: “Though host Russell Brand’s opening monologue was sexually charged, it did not feature the edgy content necessary to rival last year’s controversy.”
Alan Sepinwall — Hitfix
Chelsea Handler: “It pains me to say it, but Chelsea Handler was in over her head with hosting duties. The stage was just too big for her and the audience too distant. She boringly oscillated between jokes about sleeping with rappers and jokes about partying hard, sometimes with a dash of absurdist bad behavior (like trying to steal Justin Bieber’s ‘wig’).”
Russell Brand: “Perhaps it was the fervor and speed at which every joke needed to be delivered, but Russell Brand’s humor seemed to fall flat left and right.”
Nekesa Mumbi Moody– Associated Press
Chelsea Handler: “Host Chelsea Handler gave the show its traditional bawdiness, though her jokes often fell flat.”
Russell Brand: “There were a few more laughs during comedian Russell Brand’s opening monologue, but the celeb audience seemed more nervous than amused, as the frenetic Brit took aim at Madonna, the virginity of teen sensations the Jonas Brothers and President Bush, whom he called “a retarded cowboy fellow.”
Tim Gunn is Correct — The Project Runway Judges are “Smoking Crack”
In the eight seasons of Project Runway, the judges critiques have never been this horrible. They are unequivocally wrong every episode, and if you don’t take my word for it, take Tim Gunn’s, who has consistently mentioned their insanity on his video blogs. Last week’s “resort wear” episode was no exception, with Andy South’s beautiful design losing to April Johnston’s risque nightie. Did I mention that Michael Drummond made the top three, with what looked like a black evening gown? Explain to me what resort island would warrant a a dress that would attract enough sun to give you skin cancer. When I envision a resort, I see a very rich woman sipping tea overlooking the ocean — which is exactly what Casanova designed — and he was eliminated. It might be time to get some new judges.
Buffalo Springfield Reunites — HOORAY!
Buffalo Springfield is reuniting for the first time in 42 years, for a series of Bridge School concerts. Though it originally surprised me that Neil Young even agreed to this, the explanation became clear when I discovered that Young himself actually started the Bridge School concerts with his wife, to raise money for physical handicaps. Young had previously rejected a reunion tour, and he didn’t show up for Buffalo Springfield’s 1977 Rock and Roll Hall of Fame induction. Neil Young, Stephen Stills, and Richie Foray will perform, as two of the original members (Bruce Palmer and Dewey Martin) have passed away. I’ve seen Neil Young perform both solo and with his Crosby, Stills, Nash, and Young band-mates. Seeing him perform with Buffalo Springfield might make my life complete. If you don’t know who Buffalo Springfield is, before you start to feel ashamed of yourself, I’ve attached their most famous hit below. You will likely recognize it from the Forrest Gump soundtrack. If you don’t, I can’t help you.
httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OAkjdwsVazQ&feature=related
Outrage over Will.i.am’s VMA Blackface — I’m Confused
Will.i.am is receiving a lot of heat for his VMA performance, where he appeared in blackface while performing with Nicki Minaj. Personally, I thought Nicki Minaj’s ridiculous purple outfit was more offensive than Will.i.am’s blackface, but that’s neither here nor there. Let me begin by explaining that I don’t usually defend Will.i.am, because he’s generally pompous in interviews, but I’ll make an exception this time around. Blackface is offensive because of it’s history in vaudeville and minstrel, where white men painted their face black, and danced around the stage making fun of black people. To my knowledge, it did not involve black men painting their face black and dancing around the stage making fun of black people. Got that? I realize that it’s a double standard to say that something is insulting when a white person does it, but it isn’t insulting when a black person does it. But that brings me to the brilliant Chris Rock quote below for your reading pleasure. After you read it, I believe my point will be pretty clear.
‘I get white guys complaining that I get to use the word “nigger.” Well last time I checked, that was the only advantage I had. You want to trade places?’ he offers to a white man in the audience. ‘You get up here and scream “nigger” and I’ll raise interest rates. Because even if you don’t personally run the world, the people who run the world look pretty much like you.’
Watch Will.i.am and Nicki Minaj’s performance below.
Eminem — The Best Part of the VMAs
It does not get better than Eminem. He’s the king of the music world, and his performance at Mtv’s Video Music Awards furthered confirmed my love for him. Similar to my Britney Spears snake dance, when I listen to Eminem I pretend I’m him, and I do a full performance with a hoodie and all. I stand on top of my coffee table rapping, and then I get back down to ensure that my curtains are closed. Unsurprisingly, Rihanna joined him on stage for their song, Love the Way You Lie, after planting stories in the media about how she wouldn’t be there. Watch the performance below.
2010 MTV Video Music Awards – More VMA Video
Olivia Munn Strips for GQ — Because She’s “Funny”
When Olivia Munn was hired as a new correspondent for The Daily Show, the show was accused of sexism, because Jon Stewart hadn’t hired a female correspondent in seven years, and the one he hired isn’t exactly “funny.” Translation? Many comedians auditioned for the role, and Stewart hired the hot Playboy model. GQ interviewed Munn, and she posed in her bra and underwear, because . . . you know . . . that’s hilarious. When asked how she got the role, she said she met Jon Stewart, and asked whether the holocaust happened. Why? Because nothing says knee slapper like asking a Jew about the existence of the holocaust. Munn said Stewart immediately realized she had a Daily Show sense of humor. Yeah — or she showed up looking like she did in her GQ photo-shoot.
Olivia Palermo Says The City is Fake — Bad Decision?
In response to Whitney Port’s recent interview that Olivia Palermo is just as horrible as she is portrayed on The City, Palermo fired back, saying that the show is, “absolutely not reality,” and it’s a “business decision.” If she’s telling the truth, I’m confused. Shouldn’t her overall “business” goal be a positive portrayal? I certainly would not agree to appear on a reality television show as the bitchy villain. If I were Olivia watching the first season, I would immediately call Mtv and ask to be released from my contract. And that goes for all the reality television villains, including Scott Disick and Spencer Pratt. I wonder what their childhood goals were. “Hi Mommy, when I grow up I want to be on television, and I want to play a douchebag.”
Sheryl Crow at The Greek — Concert Review
I’m officially in love with Sheryl Crow. I’ve been a fan since her debut album, Tuesday Night Music Club, but I have never seen her perform live. She did not disappoint. Early on in the show she admitted to having the flu, which made the concert more personal, and I found myself wondering if she’d be able to make it through the concert at full steam. She did. I was also surprised by the bluesy feel of the show, because I always placed Crow in the pop genre. But the jazzy riffs blew me away. At one point Crow said, “I have the greatest band in the world . . . all I have to do is stand up here and shake my ass.” She’s right. Had Crow been absent, I still might have enjoyed the show, by listening only to her band’s jam sessions. Colbie Caillet opened Crow’s show, and she was also great. Caillet may be another Crow in the making (and not because they both enjoy wearing extremely short shorts). She’s currently still climbing her learning curve though, because she doesn’t quite look at home on stage yet. Unlike Crow, she sang her songs exactly as they were on the album, without changing up the melody. I have a feeling that Caillet is on track to headlining her own shows. Overall, a fantastic show, and I imagine that Sheryl Crow will spend the rest of the weekend in bed with tea.