Author: The Dishmaster

Dina Lohan and Matt Lauer — Tales of an Enabler

Rumor has it that Dina Lohan is pissed off at Matt Lauer for the interview below, feeling that he was too tough on her.  While it’s true that I hate Matt Lauer’s judgmental interview style, I actually think he was too easy on Lohan, who consistently defends Lindsay on television, insisting that her spirits were fantastic in jail, and she’s doing great in rehab.  Wow, Lindsay must be quite the optimistic person.  Who knew that jail and rehab could be so enjoyable? I don’t understand why Dina Lohan does these interviews at all, considering they do nothing but hurt Lindsay’s reputation.  She comes across as an enabling liar, and isn’t press savvy in the least.  My advice for Lindsay is to get some help, do an un-paid Barbara Walters interview, and then go completely underground until she has another role.  Unlike all the other famous Hollywood partiers (i.e. Paris Hilton), Lohan actually got famous for a talent (well, a non-sex related talent).  So get back to it.

Thursday’s Daily Dish

  • Kelsey Grammar’s new girlfriend is pregnant with his fifth child.  Wonderwall
  • Halle Berry discusses her break-up with Gabriel Aubry.  Star Magazine
  • Lindsay Lohan might be released from rehab early.  Radar Online
  • Former Bachelorette Deanna Pappas is engaged to Stephen Stagliano, the twin brother of Michael Stagliano, who appeared on Jillian Harris’ a season of The Bachelorette.  Got that?  Popeater
  • Hilary Duff is getting married this weekend.  Hollyscoop
  • Bachelor star Byron Velvick’s ex-fiance, Mary Delgado, was arrested for the second time on an alcohol related offense.  Get some help.  E! Online
  • The Cathy comic is dead.  All Voices
  • Glee will be on Broadway.  Playbill
  • Blake Lively will stay on Gossip Girl after all.  Contact Music

Halle Berry Loves to be Naked — Thanks for Sharing

Isn’t Halle Berry an actress?  After all, not everyone can say they played Catwoman on the big screen.  I can now add her to my list of desperate actresses that sexualize themselves to get attention in the entertainment industry.  The best part?  She has actually won an Oscar, which puts her on my shit-list hall of fame.  The source of my anger comes from a recent interview, when Berry confessed that “if the world didn’t persecute her,” she’d take “nude pictures of herself every day of the week.”  She claimed that doing so would be “empowering.” I hope that by “world,” she was referring to The Dishmaster, so let my persecution parade began.  First, I have absolutely no idea what question she was asked that warranted this voluntary revelation about how she’s a closet exhibitionist.  Here’s a list of the possible questions: “Halle, you’re so hot, would you be naked every minute of the day if you could?”; “Halle, why don’t you just get naked right now?”; and finally, “Halle, I often jerk-off when I think about your naked boobies in Swordfish, do you find that flattering?”  Maybe Halle Berry can take a vacation with Cameron Diaz, Christina Aguilera, and Zoe Saldana — that would be quite the party (if you don’t get that reference, click on each of those names for the links).

Jennifer Lopez and American Idol — What Really Happened

First she’s in, then she’s out, and now she’s back in?  There is a lot of press drama surrounding Jennifer Lopez as a potential judge on American Idol — and here’s my take on the behind-the-scenes of what has really gone down.  When word leaked that Lopez would be a judge, she had not yet signed her contract.  The folks over at Idol figured that it was nearly a done deal, but insisted to the public that nothing was final until she signed on the dotted line.  Well, they certainly knew what they were talking about.  Before Lopez signed, it became clear through press leaks that her demands got out of control, and they were simply done with negotiations.  Why announce this publicly?  As a negotiating ploy, of course.  Fox wants to let Lopez know that they can play hard-ball too, and the best way to do that is to call her bluff with a public announcement that the negotiation fell through.  Lopez probably got wise, and had her people return to battle.  Now, they are back to the drawing board, and once again awaiting her to sign her deal.  How long will this take, and will she actually make any concessions?  I predict she’ll sign, because artists no longer have the kind of leverage they once had in the industry, or she’ll learn a lesson the hard-way.  And by “hard-way,” I mean lose her chance at staying relevant for a couple more minutes.

Not Everyone in America is “The Next Susan Boyle”

There is a lot of Susan Boyle buzz surrounding Jackie Evancho, the very talented 10-year-old opera singer, that surprised the judges on America’s Got Talent. Is it just me, or is everyone and their mother (literally) now compared to Susan Boyle when they have a good voice? I feel the need to remind all these ridiculous journalists why Susan Boyle was such a sensation, so that I can put an end to these wrongful and annoying comparisons. When Boyle walked in, the judges pre-determined her talent based on her haggard appearance, and odd personality. So when she belted out one of the best performances in history, it was a big in-your-face, and a true representation of the “don’t judge a book by it’s cover” saying. Though a ten-year-old isn’t expected to sing opera, that hardly warrants a Boyle comparison. Surprise alone won’t do it. You need a little disrespect too. I’d list all of the other America’s Got Talent contestants that have been compared to Boyle, but there is far to many too name. See Evancho’s performance below. It’s worth watching.

Curvy Actresses — Who Are They? Part II

I’ve made it a personal mission to bring back the “curvy girls,” in Hollywood. Since I forgot some women in my first curvy actresses post, I’m doing another one. I imagine I have forgotten some this time around as well, so expect many more of these. Enjoy!


Modern Family’s Sofia Vergara


Mad Men’s Elisabeth Moss


Kristin Davis


Kate Winslet — My brother is madly in love with her, and often tells me that she’s so beautiful he cannot watch her films, because it saddens him that they will never date in real life. So Kate, call my brother.


Rose McGowan


Lindsay Lohan — yes she was an actress at one point in her life.


Jennifer Tilly — She doesn’t have to act another day in her life. She married and divorced Sam Simon, a creator of The Simpsons, and gets half of all his profit from the show. Translation? Millions and millions.

Teri Hatcher Posts Unflattering Pictures of Herself — Is This Necessary?

I know that her heart is in the right place, but celebrities everywhere should take note of this.  You don’t always have to answer your critics!  Especially when “answering” them, involves posting unflattering pictures of yourself to prove that you are sans-botox.  There is a certain level of mystery I’d like my celebrities to maintain, and if that means you are only photographed when you’re “camera-ready,” so be it.  Take it as a compliment that people think you’ve had work done.  You might notice that I only post pictures of celebrities looking their best, primarily because I’m pretty superficial, and unsightly photos would ruin my aesthetic.  Perhaps Teri Hatcher should take a note from The Dishmaster handbook the next time she wants to impulsively tweet.  On that note, if you’d like to see the photos in question, click here.  Further reading: John Cusack Proves that Celebrities Need to Get Off Twitter.

Tribute to Christina Hendricks — I Love Her

I’m admittedly not an avid Mad Men fan, but Christina Hendricks has been on my radar since her interview on Chelsea Lately, when Chelsea called her voluptuous, and Hendricks appeared annoyed.  Now, she’s learned to take it as a compliment, and represents all curvy-girls across America.  In an interview with Deadline, she furthered my affection for her, by saying that she would stay on Mad Men forever if she could, and has no desire to leave the show for films.  It’s refreshing to hear an an actress appreciate of the role that makes them famous, unlike every cast member of Grey’s Anatomy that has bashed their show in interviews.  It’s also refreshing to see a beautiful woman on television that isn’t either overweight, or an underweight stick-figure.  Here, you’ve got a sexy, humble actress that looks like a normal human being.