Here’s what I don’t understand about this season’s deplorable American Idol. Do the judges have a plan? Did they just pick some decent singers, put them on stage and decide that everyone’s equal, and it doesn’t matter who gets voted off? That’s certainly my hypothesis, given their lack of negative criticism. I actually thought Casey Abrams would take the Idol crown, until I realized that the judges have done nothing to direct the audience. That means the strongest singers have been voted off, and many of the weaker singers, with absolutely zero personality, are staying. Do the judges seriously think that every singer remaining can have a successful career outside of this talent show? Apparently so, since they arbitrarily compliment everyone. I’d like to take a moment to remind the judges that the competition is not just about singing ability — it’s about looks, personality, and charisma. Until they gain a better understanding of this, it’s basically a crapshoot, and the more talented kids like Casey Abrams, Pia Toscano, and Paul McDonald will get pushed aside. It’s unfortunate and frustrating. I cannot wait for X-Factor. I yearn for Simon Cowell’s return.
Category: Music
Should Jennifer Lopez Leave American Idol?
Rumors are circulating that Jennifer Lopez will leave American Idol at this season’s end, and it’s a great idea. As soon as X-Factor premieres American Idol is done, and JLO is way too business savvy to stay with a sinking ship. She jumped on board a cash-cow at the exact right moment, and I’m certain she’ll flee the ship right before it sinks. The only issue is that she’s likely to leave American Idol for another reality show, which will certainly irreparably damage her brand. Reality television is where stars go to die, and Simon Cowell’s brain-children are the only exception. Either leave American Idol for X-Factor, or return to the movie business.
Foo Fighters Album is #1 — Congratulations, Dave Grohl
Anyone who knows me is aware that I’m secretly in love with Dave Grohl. This isn’t because I’m some insane Foo Fighters or Nirvana fan, it’s simply because I’ve read a lot of Grohl interviews and listened to him on Howard Stern. I think the guy is brilliant. He’s openly discussed the pain he felt after Kurt Cobain’s death and he’s navigated the Courtney Love disaster with an incredible amount of class. Also — he’s a rock star who doesn’t do drugs. That means if my fantasy were fulfilled, I’d get the sexy man with none of the baggage. So I’d like to take the opportunity to extend a major congratulations to the Foo Fighters for their album hitting number one. It’s their first number one album of their career, and they even knocked Adele off her slot. These guys deserve it.
Pia Toscano Leaves ‘American Idol’ — I Blame the Judges
If I cared about this horrible show anymore, I’d say this is the worst upset in American Idol history. But since I love pointing fingers, I’d like to take this opportunity to point my fingers directly at these terrible judges. If you watched the show last night, you might have noticed that the judges complimented every single person that performed. You know what happens when you don’t insult anyone? America has absolutely no guide — and it becomes a crapshoot. Actually — they did insult someone. They insulted their best singer — which was Pia Toscano, and now Pia Toscano is packing her bags. Specifically, they said she lacked performance quality. Even though that might have been true last night, they also neglected to give every other performer the same criticism (in addition to other, much deserved criticism). You cannot sit back on your throne complimenting terrible singers and expect America to get it right. Believe it or not, Simon Cowell’s criticism affected the votes, and that effect is missing on this season’s show. So good job guys. You have no one to blame but yourself.
‘American Idol’ is Terrible — Judges Say Nothing Negative
American Idol is absolutely unwatchable this season. The judges did not have one negative comment the entire show. How is that possible? Is the entire group going to have a successful music career? Are they already perfect? I’ve never missed Simon Cowell so much. He used to comment on issues outside the performances also, which these judges don’t do. Remember when Simon told Carly Smithson that she “needed to have a talk with the person dressing her at the moment — because she doesn’t look like a star.” Or how about when he told David Cook that his personality seemed “boring.” Is someone planning to tell Pia Toscano that unless she gets more of a personality, she’ll never make it in the business? It’s not just about voice, and even if it were, the judges would still be completely wrong. I’d point out every terrible performer on tonight’s show, but that would just be negative. And here at The Dishmaster I try to be positive.
‘Idol’s’ Jacob Lusk Sings ‘Man in the Mirror’ — Indulgent and Ridiculous
I think it’s safe to say that Jacob Lusk should start to pack his bags. In case you missed his performance on American Idol tonight, I’ll educate you on his major misstep. In the video before his song, Jacob explained why he chose to sing Man in the Mirror, and he said, “if I end up in the bottom three it won’t be because I sang the song bad . . . it will be because everybody in America wasn’t ready to look at themselves in the mirror.” No — I’m not kidding. He actually said that. I’m sure I don’t need to articulate why this is ridiculous, but I’ll do it anyways in case Jacob is reading this. Jacob will go home tomorrow, not because I didn’t want to look in the mirror (in fact, I do that all the time). He’ll go home because he butchered a Michael Jackson song. I’d also like to add that Simon Cowell would never have let Jacob get away with that video. He would have mentioned it during his critique. This show is dead without him. Watch Jacob’s performance below.
Amanda Clark Covers Matisyahu’s “One Day” at Brick & Mortar Recording Studio
In honor of TOMS 4th annual One Day Without Shoes, Amanda Clark covered Matisyahu’s “One Day” on the rooftop of the Los Angeles Brick & Mortar Recording Studio. The special day was created by TOMS founder, Blake Mycoskie, who wanted to bring awareness to the millions of children that are forced to go without shoes. In the video below, you’ll see the talented Amanda Clark playing beside the two founders of Brick & Mortar Recording studios, Rob Columbus (playing the tambourine, shaker, and bass drum) and Minh Lee (playing guitar). Please forgive my good friend Rob’s ridiculous shirt in the video. He simply couldn’t help it. Enjoy!
Steven Tyler & Carrie Underwood — Best Duet at ACM Awards
Having duets at the American Country Music Awards was great in theory, and rough in execution. Steven Tyler and Carrie Underwood were the only two artists to get it right. Tyler entered the stage singing Underwood’s Undo It, and Carrie Underwood later sang Tyler’s Walk This Way. This idea of artists crossing genres should have been consistent with each duet, but the producers missed the mark. Instead, you had Rihanna singing California King Bed with Sugarland‘s Jennifer Nettles, but Jennifer Nettles didn’t sing a song by Rihanna. To further confuse the theme, Brad Paisley sang with Alabama, who are being labeled in the press as “rockers,” even though they are both clearly country music artists. That’s not exactly crossing genres. The ACM producers should call American Idol producer Nigel Lythgoe to take some advice about executing performance themes. Watch Underwood and Tyler below.
‘Idol’s’ Paul McDonald — The Best of the Night — Judges are Nuts
I just got around to watching last night’s American Idol and, true to form, I became enraged. I disagreed with the judges on every single performance. Because I try to be a positive Dishmaster (no — I’m not kidding), I will only point out who I liked that judges did not, instead of listing every single singer that the judges like, who I thought were God awful. During the judges’ critique of Paul McDonald they insulted his suit (which I liked) and they told him he needed to “go further” with his voice (which is ridiculous). Not every contestant on American Idol needs to engage in vocal gymnastics to be impressive. I might stop watching this show altogether, for fear of destroying my television. Watch Paul McDonald sing Elton John’s Rocket Man below. He was my favorite of the night, with Casey Abrams coming in a close second. I keep my mouth shut on the rest.
Britney Spears Performs in Vegas — Where’s Her Choreography?
If you’re a fan of The Dishmaster, then you know what a huge Britney Spears fan I am. Having said that, I’d like to take this opportunity to insult her for just a moment. She performed in Vegas over the weekend to promote the launch of her new album, Femme Fatale, and after watching her concert videos, it’s clear she’s not back to her career launching status. When Britney first entered the business, her performances were heavily danced focused, with Wade Robson choreographing all of her concerts, videos, and live performances. Since Britney’s comeback and Wade’s subsequent departure, she hasn’t returned to her original caliber. When you lip-sync, you have to dance. There’s no way around it. You can’t simply put on a sparkly outfit and walk slowly around the stage while sporadically moving your arms around. I need more than that, especially when you’re known for performances alone. I hate to pick on her, because I’m very happy for her comeback success, and I love every one of her songs. But enough is enough. Start dancing. I’d encourage you to watch the video below sans sound. It’s low quality, but you’ll get my point.