There’s something suspicious about Ryan Murphy’s recent announcement that he’ll be letting go of his three choice players after Season 3 of Glee. First, all three actors are up for a contract renegotiation, and everyone knows that actors on a hit-show play hard-ball on Season 3 (remember Katherine Heigl’s Grey’s Anatomy debacle?). Second, they are three major stars, and despite Murphy’s proclamation that it’s the right creative choice, there is a huge risk of axing your primary series regulars. Does he seriously think that he can get three more unknown actors to duplicate the current lightning-in-a-bottle success of the show? All signs point to no. Third, what about Mark Salling? Why did he only announce that Lea, Cory, and Chris are leaving and neglect to mention Salling? Is it because Mark is less expensive, and Murphy knows he doesn’t require the same game of hardball? And lastly, the show barely tracked the years of its students, which means Murphy could easily stick to his real-time formula and keep these cast members on for two additional years (presuming they started as freshman). Instead, Murphy insists that “everyone knows they started as sophomores.” Really Mr. Murphy? I guess “everyone” doesn’t include The Dishmaster, because I was under the impression they all started as freshman, which gives them four years on the show — not three. His assumptions are certainly financially convenient — and suspicious.
Category: Television
Simon Fuller Sues Fox & Fremantle over X-Factor — He’s Right!
Here’s the history of the Simon Cowell v. Simon Fuller feud in a nutshell. Simon Fuller created a show in the UK called ‘Pop Idol,’ which is where Simon Cowell got his television start. At the time, the Simons were good friends. Cowell then jumped ship by creating ‘X Factor,’ which was basically a rip-off of ‘Pop Idol.’ Since Cowell was deemed a “creator” of ‘X Factor’ (a credit he did not get on Pop Idol), he received a lot more money for the new show. Fuller sued Cowell, claiming that ‘X Factor’ was a rip off of Pop Idol (which it was). The parties settled, and the settlement included Fuller getting Executive Producer credit on ‘X Factor’ (and most likely a percentage of the back-end profit). So here’s where it gets sticky. Simon Cowell pulled the same move twice, by jumping ship on ‘American Idol’ in favor of ‘X Factor’ (note: the same rule applies — Cowell stands to receive much more money because he’s a creator of ‘X Factor’ and he is not a creator of American Idol). Fuller sued, saying that according to their original settlement, he should receive Executive Producer credit on the American version of ‘X Factor.’ Are you ready for Fox’s official response? They said, “His suit seeks payment and credit as an executive producer despite his neither having been approved by the required parties, nor hired, as such. We believe this lawsuit is without merit and we expect to prevail.” Nice try, guys. It’s completely irrelevant whether the “parties” approved him as an Executive Producer or whether he actually rendered any services on the new show. What matters is his settlement. He created a show, his friend ripped him off, and he’s entitled to some dough. That’s the long and short of it.
Kris Jenner Gets a Face-Lift — I’ve Had Enough!
I love mindless television, and I love to point my finger and laugh at the superficial madness of Los Angeles. Having said that, I’ve had enough of the Kardashians. Kris Jenner has officially put me over the edge. On the new season of Keeping up With the Kardashians, she decides to get a face-lift in preparation for Kim’s wedding. So what’s my issues? It’s ridiculous! First, she doesn’t need one. Second, when you look at her old face, it actually has character, which is more than I can say for her new face. Furthermore, I’m fundamentally against all plastic surgery. That proclamation quite obviously excludes getting the fat sucked out of one’s neck — because that’s clearly necessary. Other than the double-chin-fat-suckage, I declare that all human beings look better with age. It’s better than looking like a plastic alien.
Tabloid Weekly Update: Breakups, Makeups, and Babies
- Green Mile actor, Doug Hutchison, 51, married Alexis Stodden, 16. Her parents approve. If only my parents were that open-minded. The Blemish
- Hugh Hefner let his ex-fiance, Crystal Harris, keep her $90,000 engagement ring. She was spotted trying to pawn it. Now that’s love. Celebrity Dirty Laundry
- Former Bachelorette contestant Chris Lambton is engaged to former Bachelor contestant, Peyton Wright. Who says you can’t find love on reality television? People
- Ashlee Simpson was spotted kissing ‘Boardwalk Empire’ actor, Vincent Piazza. Inquistr
- Amanda Seyfried and her on-again/off-again love interest, Dominic Cooper, might be back together. They were seen shopping — and men don’t shop with women unless it’s serious. Pop Sugar
- Emma Stone is dating her Spiderman costar, Andrew Garfield. Us Magazine
- Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie were spotted hugging Perhaps they are back together. Celebrity-Gossip
- Daniel Craig and Rachel Weisz got married. Congrats to the very good-looking couple. Just Jared
- Lauren Conrad and Kyle Howard broke up. Huffington Post
- Grey’s Anatomy star, Sara Ramirez, is engaged. E! Online
- Reggie Bush is dating a Kim Kardashian look-a-like. The Frisky
- George Clooney dumped Elisabetta Canalis. Apparently, “she drove him nuts.” Pop Eater
- Jennifer Aniston and Justin Theroux were photographed snuggling. She looks very happy. iVillage
- Famed chef, Curtis Stone and ‘Lipstick Jungle’ star, Lindsay Price, are expecting a baby. Celebrity Baby Scoop
Shannon Tweed Storms off Joy Behar’s Show in a Gene Simmons Huff
My Hollywood insiders tell me that 99% of reality television is fake. Because I’m a gullible dolt, I have trouble believing them. As a result, I think the clip below is real. In it, Shannon Tweed storms off the set of Joy Behar’s show, after her long-time partner, Gene Simmons, makes a joke about the many women he’s had sex with. There’s much speculation on the internet that it’s planned, but I just don’t think they are talented enough to pull off the spectacle. Plus, it’s entirely possible that they have already split up, and they are contractually obligated to promote the show, while also keeping the current status of their relationship a secret. Watch below and judge for yourself.
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Married to Rock — The Worst Show on Earth
There’s no one more attracted to trashy reality television than myself. Having said that, I’d have to pull my eyelashes out lash-by-lash before watching more of ‘Married to Rock.’ It’s a shame when your wife can barely form actual sentences. Oh right — it’s fine if she’s hot. I’d tell you the names of the individuals in the clip below, but it’s simply not worth knowing. Enjoy!
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Keeping Up With the Kardashians Season 6 Promo — Is Kim in a Wind Tunnel?
My favorite part of the promo for season 6 of Keeping Up With the Kardashians, is Kim Kardashian’s face during the end of the promo, which includes an open mouth while shaking her head to what I presume is a fan in the background. You’ll have to watch, because I simply cannot describe it properly. As an aside, is nothing sacred? Judging from the clip below, Kris Humphries proposed to Kim on camera. Have the Kardashians now converted some other innocent person to sell his soul for television? Watch the clip below.
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Loveline Will Air on AOL — Not the Same Without Adam Carolla
For years I’ve been wanting to see Loveline on television again. It was one of my favorite shows growing up, and it taught me everything I didn’t want to know about third nipples. I was so obsessed I even caught the evening radio show after watching it on MTV. Since Adam Carolla left the show, it has never been the same. Carolla says he left because he was strangely offered a much lower salary, which led him to think someone wanted to push him out. The disloyal Dr. Drew chose to continue the show without his much-need partner in crime, and Mike Catherwood is his current co-host. If you saw Catherwood on Dancing With the Stars, then I don’t need to explain why Mike Catherwood is not exactly . . . entertaining. So does it really make a difference that AOL will start to air video of Loveline? Bring back Adam Carolla!
Kirstie Alley and Maksim Chmerkovskiy — Best Freestyle on Dancing With the Stars
Kirstie Alley is my favorite contestant in the history of Dancing With the Stars. The goal of the show is to find someone that you can watch progress throughout the season, and Kirstie Alley embodied that. Plus, she’s lost so much weight in such a short period of time, I find myself doing cartwheels in her honor. On tonight’s finale, Kirstie and Maks stole the night with their freestyle. It’s not that it was the most technically perfect, it just had the most heart. It also doesn’t hurt that Maks is an Adonis of beauty. Seriously — he hurts my eyes.
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Dancing With the Stars’ Hines Ward — NFL’s “Dirtiest” Player
While catching up on last week’s ‘Dancing With the Stars,’ I thought to myself, “gee, that Hines Ward is such a cuddly teddy bear. In fact, I just want to hug him and pinch his cheeks.” Since I don’t know much about him, I decided to do some research. Turns out, he’s not so cuddly after all. Two years ago, Ward’s peers voted him the “dirtiest player” in the NFL. Apparently, he broke the jaw of Bengals’ Keith Rivers, with a “surprise downfield block.” I put that line from Sports Illustrated in quotations, because I have absolutely no idea what it means, so I’m unable to paraphrase. And in case that annoys you, please make a personal phone call to my father, whose sibling favoritism resulted in my brother’s attendance at every football game. But enough about me. Anyways, Ward responded to the criticism by saying, “when I go across the middle, those guys aren’t going to tackle me softly and lay me down to the ground. That’s not football. I find it ironic that now you see a receiver delivering blows, and it’s an issue. But I haven’t changed. I’ve been doing it this way for 11 years.” Again, I have no idea what “going across the middle” means, but it sounds serious. Authentic teddy bears are hard to find, I suppose.