Dear Chris “CT” Tamburello — The Dishmaster Wants to Interview You

If you know me personally, then you know that when I want something — I won’t stop until I get it. That’s either because I’m ambitious, or because I’m spoiled. When I request interviews for The Dishmaster, those interviews are based solely on my personal preference. And that preference is dictated by one of two things: 1) I’ve been a long-time fan of your work or 2) I think you’re super hot, and I want to pick your brain to determine if our babies will be intelligent. In the case of Chris “CT” Tamburello, it’s a bit of both. I loved him on The Real World, and I loved his story on The Real World/Road Rules challenges. He fell in love with Diem Brown on the show while she was recovering from cancer, and he later got himself in trouble during a fight with Adam King, which was later explained when CT revealed he was mourning the loss of his brother’s passing shortly before the show began. He returned to MTV years later, and he redeemed himself while partnered with Adam King, which included many apologies and a clear desire to turn their on-air partnership and former rivalry into a post-show friendship. So why the CT biography, and where am I going with this? I want to interview the guy, and I can’t seem to find him. I’ve reached out in every way possible, and I’m hitting roadblocks. I have a million inside lines, and a slew of resources with talent representatives, and I still haven’t had any luck. In fact, I haven’t hit this many dead ends since I requested an interview with Colin Hay (yes, I’m being serious). So CT — if you’re reading this — I want you (pun intended) — and I won’t stop until I get you.

Note to CT: My email address is: Info@TheDishmaster.com.

Christina Hendricks Cellphone Hacked — When Will This End?!

Attention bloggers everywhere: If celebrities have their cellphone hacked and you republished those hacked photos, then you are a vile, disgusting human being that will rot in hell. It’s bad enough that celebrities aren’t free to live their lives without a paparazzi invasion, but now the entire internet simultaneous condemns and publishes a hacker’s photo that was taken from someone’s personal cell-phone. This absolutely astounds me. It’s akin to taking photos outside someone’s window while they are naked in their house and then publishing those photos on the internet. I will not link to any site that published the photos. I will only say that anyone guilty of publishing naked-celebrity-photos without a celebrity’s consent — will rot in hell. I am sure of it.

Dr. Oz on Chelsea Lately — Describes “Secretary Ass”

Every time I see Dr. Oz, I think about all the things that might be wrong with me that I never knew about. In fact, I stopped watching the show after his vagina lecture (don’t ask). So when he appeared on Chelsea Lately and discussed what is known as “secretary ass” I felt like tracking him down to kill him. Apparently, if your job requires that you sit in a chair all day, your ass will expand and fat cells will fill in the gaps. As if my ass isn’t big enough, now I have to worry about it getting bigger?! Watch after the jump at your own risk.

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Quote of the Day — Simon Cowell Calls Nicole Scherzinger “Ditzy”

“She’s like Jessica Rabbit. Unfortunately we’ve put Daffy Duck’s brain in. But I love Daffy Duck. She’s ditzy and she’s adorable. She’s gonna kill me for the Daffy Duck.” Simon Cowell, on Nicole Scherzinger’s beauty and “intelligence.”

 
 
 

Tabloid Gossip — Week-in-Review — Newsy Nonsense

  • The Big Bang Theory’s Kelly Cuoco is no longer engaged. Huffington Post
  • Taylor Swift and Tim Tebow might be engaged. New York Daily News
  • Janet Jackson said no to X Factor. MTV
  • Eddie Murphy and Toni Braxton might be dating. Daily Mail
  • Tiger Woods was betrayed by his former coach, Hank Haney. USA Today
  • Jennifer Garner and Ben Affleck have a new baby boy. People
  • Ashley Tisdale & Martin Johnson made their red-carpet-debut as a couple. Us Magazine
  • Uma Thurman is pregnant. Pop Crunch
  • Russell Brand has a new girlfriend. Rumor Fix
  • Lamar Odom got demoted from the Dallas Mavericks. Bossip

 

 

Quote of the Day — Melissa Rivers on Dating a Porn King

“He’s very normal, he’s just a businessman in the business. He runs the entertainment company, which is rather large. But we were in Vegas last week for the awards, and a lot of the girls looked so good. All night, girls were coming up to me asking about how they looked, and I would just think, ‘Well, I can’t see your vagina, so that’s good,’ and their makeup is running down their faces and there’s actually a best anal work award. One girl said, I don’t know if I can say this, but ‘I would like to thank my a–hole for putting up with all of these shenanigans.'” Melissa Rivers, on the perks of dating a porn king (A.K.A the head of Vivid Entertainment).

CT v. Diem on MTV’s Battle of the Exes: Rehash Their Breakup

Chris “CT” Tamburello and Diem Brown had the greatest love story ever captured on television and quite possibly the saddest, most frustrating breakup. From the bits and pieces I gathered, Diem dumped him for her “career,” telling him that they should revisit their relationship in five years time. CT moved on, and Diem later saw him on a reunion show, which included an overflow of tears and proclamations, such as, “I thought I was going to marry you.” Well, Diem — if you thought you wanted to marry the guy — then you sure made a big mistake dumping him, didn’t you? When MTV reunited the former lovebirds, I was sure they’d get back together. But when CT refused to make a move on Diem, she was clearly upset. CT finally said, “You dumped me. You don’t want me. Why are you torturing me?” Diem then cried like a teenager instead of listening to his point, followed by calling him a “monster.” CT then said, “I’m stuck with a psycho ex-girlfriend who is trying to nag me to death, and I can’t escape.” Despite Diem’s very convincing woe-is-me pity parade, I’m on CT’s side. If you didn’t want him, then don’t be surprised that he doesn’t want you. Fast forward to the 21 minute mark to see the insanity begin. And then take a moment to appreciate that God made such a beautiful blue-eyed specimen of a man known as CT. They sure don’t look that way where I come from.

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Jennifer Lopez Cries Over Jeremy Rosado on American Idol’s Top 12 — Unprofessional?

Jennifer Lopez picked Jeremy Rosado as her wild card during Thursday’s “Top 12” episode of American Idol, and the decision involved a lot of crying. Perhaps I’m an insensitive prick, but aren’t all these talent-show-tears a little unprofessional? It’s a competition show! Buck up! If the judges can’t compose themselves, how will the contestants? I’ve attached the clip below, followed by the very famous scene from A League of Their Own when Tom Hanks says, “There’s no crying in baseball!”

Janelle Monae Joins Estelle on ‘All of Me’ — Awesomeness!

I first discovered Janelle Monae from my friend who showed me the music video below for “Tightrope” and claimed to have a “girl crush” on her. I dare you to listen to it and not dance. Monae joined Estelle on a track for Estelle’s new All of Me album called, “Do My Thing.” This is Estelle’s first album in four years. She explained the large gap by saying, “There’s a difference between cooked food and McDonald’s. Your mom’s homemade dinner – you enjoy this more than you enjoy the fast food that comes along and goes, and I strive to make homemade dinner every time I put out an album.” That might be true, although I’d like to point out that I really like fast food (don’t tell anyone). Listen below.

Quote of the Day — Jim Rash Explains His Angelina Jolie Oscar Pose

“Some people were like, ‘How dare you?’ But it wasn’t mocking at all. She chuckled when she stood like that, and I thought she was sort of just owning that dress and rocking it and selling it, so I thought, I should do that with my own stance to be proud of this moment.” Jim Rash, on whether he was mocking Angelina Jolie at the Oscars