Robert De Niro accepted the Cecil B. DeMille award at last night’s Golden Globes, and he clearly hired comedy writers for his speech. It’s common knowledge in Hollywood that De Niro hates doing interviews, and hates public speaking. That’s why you rarely see him promote his movies on late night talk shows (unless of course he produced the movie, in which case he promotes the hell out of it, because it’s more money in his pocket). That explains why he would try to be funny, and why he would hire outside writers for help. The only funny joke in the entire speech was his self-deprecating jab at Little Fockers, saying, saying, he’s “glad the Hollywood Foreign Press decided to give him the award two months ago, well before they had a chance to review Little Fockers.” Other than that, he made some very inappropriate jokes that didn’t fit his personality at all. Can’t the guy just get up there and give a thank you speech that he wrote himself? Sure, it might be boring. But it wouldn’t be inappropriate.
Golden Globes Recap: Stop With the Botox!
I hate botox. Despite the proclamations of many actresses that insist they use it “sparingly,” I can always tell and it’s always horrible. My problem isn’t that actresses in their forties shouldn’t look twenty, it’s that actresses in their forties shouldn’t look terrible. Having said that, there was a certain actress at the Golden Globes that clearly went for injections prior to the awards show, and she was almost unrecognizable. I will not say her name, because that would just be mean, but consider this a message to all actresses everywhere. The botox looks abominable. Stop doing it. It’s disgusting.
Golden Globes Recap: Glee’s Chris Colfer Wins the Night
Out of all the wins at the 2011 Golden Globes, Chris Colfer was my favorite. Sure, I’m a biased Glee fan. But he was both shocked and humble, which made me love him even more than I love his character on Glee. Ryan Murphy recently said that he was most surprised by Colfer’s nomination, which explains Colfer’s exasperated look when they announced his name. I really don’t think he expected to win, especially considering who he was up against. But if you’ve paid any attention to his storyline this season, his character addresses gay bullying, which has been brought to our attention after recent tragedies in the news. He deserved the win. Congrats, Colfer. Watch is speech below.
Golden Globes Recap: Don’t “Shh” Me at Your Viewing Party!
Dear everyone — When attending a Golden Globes party at someone’s house, please be aware that the invitation said “party” for a reason. If you want to hear everything that is being said during the show, then please stay home and sit in your own personal silence. But when you rudely yell out “shh” to the other guests while they are mingling, you’re the asshole. Not me.
Golden Globes Recap: Angelina Jolie Refuses to Laugh
There are two certainties in life: 1) Ricky Gervais is damn funny, and 2) Angelina Jolie has no sense of humor. I really want to like her, and I promise I’ve made a serious effort to change my opinion over the years. But when the cameras cut to Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt, and only Pitt is laughing, I can’t help but wonder what Angelina’s problem is. The only explanation is that Gervais ragged on her film, The Tourist, but that certainly doesn’t explain why her costar, Johnny Depp, was also seen laughing. Is Depp just a better sport? Here’s my advice to the actors that get made fun of — if you don’t think it’s funny, then use your acting skills to laugh anyways, otherwise the viewing public just sees you as a humorless curmudgeon.
UPDATE: Angelina Jolie can laugh after all. Click here
Christina Hendricks Posed For Playboy — She Wasn’t Naked — No Scandal
There’s a lot of buzz on the internet about Mad Men’s Christina Hendricks’ “Playboy past.” Can I just say that unless she’s naked, there’s no scandal. She’s in a bikini in a highly air-brushed and artistic photo-shoot, which is less revealing than if she was photographed by Paparazzi on the beach. I’d also like to say that, despite the viewpoint of my highly conservative friends, Playboy is not a scandalous magazine. There’s no longer a need to hide it under your couch cushions, and it’s certainly okay to take it to Starbucks and read it for the articles. Isn’t it? Perhaps that’s why I get such strange looks while I’m drinking my coffee. To see the “scandalous” pictures, click the link below.
CHRISTINA HENDRICKS — PLAYBOY — THE SMOKING JACKET
Kanye West Tries to Be Funny With Britney — Can’t Catch a Break
I’m actually starting to feel sorry for Kanye West. When Britney Spears’ new song knocked Kanye out of the number one spot, he tweeted her, saying, “Yo Britney, I’m really happy for you and I’mma let you be #1, but me and Jay-Z single is one of the best songs of all time.” Apparently, Kanye West is not allowed to make fun of himself, because no one has a sense of humor, including Britney Spears. Spears’ manager, Adam Leber, replied to Kanye’s tweet, saying, “Thanks for “letting” us be #1. Much appreciated.” Can we all stop picking on Kanye West please? Enough is enough. The guy made a mistake, and his mistake actually catapulted Taylor Swift into super stardom. Also — give the guy permission to make a joke for goodness sakes.
Marissa Jaret Winokur Leaves The Talk — My Prediction Was Correct
I hate being right sometimes. I know that sounds sarcastic, but I really do hate being correct when it involves someone’s job. About a month ago, I wrote a post about how Marissa Jaret Winokur might be fired from The Talk, as she’s rarely ever seen on the show. It’s now official. Marissa and CBS “mutually parted ways.” I actually really liked Marissa on the show, but I know about Hollywood head-counts, and where fat can be trimmed — it will be trimmed. Plus, it is absolutely ridiculous to have that many panelists on The Talk. Without Winokur, there are still five women, one of which also needs to go. I won’t tell you who though, because here at The Dishmaster, I try to be positive. After all, someone told me last night that I “come off as very negative,” and because I’m actually an inherently positive person, I refrained from telling him to “go fu*k himself.”
Dear Donald Trump — Stop Casting Reality Stars on Your Reality Show
The new cast of Celebrity Apprentice has been announced, and I’m disappointed. Though it might be interesting to if Richard Hatch (Survivor) and NeNe Leakes (The Real Housewives of Atlanta) can actually make intelligent business decisions, I’m sick of reality shows recycling reality stars. These shows basically provide a mosh-pit of recycled fame-whores that are looking to extend their fifteen minutes of fame to twenty minutes. Keep in mind that I’m not a realty-television-hater, but there’s a lot of people in the industry who were actually famous for a talent, and who are looking to resurrect their career. Those are the people who should be selected. Forgive me if I don’t want to see the douchey Jake Pavelka on Dancing With the Stars.
Maroon 5’s Album is Incredible — I’m Sorry, Adam Levine
If you follow my blog, then you would know how often I pick on Adam Levine for his annoying personality. In my most recent post on the topic, I claimed to stop listening to his music based solely on this terrible personality. Well, even The Dishmaster can eat crow. Thanks to Grooveshark, I was able to listen to his entire new album, Hands All Over, before buying it — and it’s incredible. I’ll repent for my sharp tongue by actually purchasing the album. Who says I’m immature?