There’s a nude photo scandal going on with Blake Lively, and her people insist that the photos are not her. I’ve seen these photos, and it’s difficult to believe her claim. Having said that, I’d like to give a major congratulations to Blake Lively’s representatives for capitalizing on the law of denial. As long as you insist the pictures are doctored, the public will be left with doubt, no matter how convincing the photographs. This is a method that other actors should soon adopt, Vanessa Hudgens in particular. Remember when Hudgens got her phone hacked, and her people confirmed their validity, followed by stern instructions to remove them because she was under eighteen at the time? I’d also like to note that I’ve learned many things from this nude photo scandal. Here’s the most important lesson, which Reese Witherspoon just reiterated: when taking naked pictures and sending them to a boy, make sure to keep my head out of the picture. That way I can always deny it’s my body, and something tells me that it won’t make much of a difference to him anyhow.
Tag: Award Shows
Reese Witherspoon Insults Paris Hilton & Kim Kardashian at MTV Movie Awards
Either Reese Witherspoon was drunk at the MTV Movie Awards, or she had someone else write her material. Her speech was great, but it certainly seemed out of character. She said “like” about fifty times, and she clearly insulted Paris Hilton and Kim Kardashian, saying, “it’s possible to make it in Hollywood without a reality show.” She also had a very good point about texting naked pictures, advising young girls everywhere to “hide their face.” Perhaps Blake Lively should take notes. Personally, I refrain from sending naked pictures altogether. No matter what the angle, my ass just looks to damn big. Watch Reese’s speech below.
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Beyonce v. Lorella Cuccarini — Inspiration or Ripping Off?
My mother used to say that copying is the greatest form of flattery. Then I’d tell my mother she’s ridiculous. I’m not one of those people who enjoys when others copy my work. In fact, you probably don’t want to be on the other end of that accusation. It isn’t pretty. So when Beyonce was accused of copying Lorella Cuccarini’s 2010 performance during the Billboard Music Awards, she insisted that she was merely inspired by it, and didn’t directly copy it. Hey, at least she admitted to having seen the performance. Most artists would dismiss it as a strange coincidence. Lorella’s performance is so original, it’s only fair to say that Beyonce liked the idea and took it on as her own. So does it matter? If I were Lorella, it would infuriate me, especially since no credit was given to her idea during the performance. She only admitted to the similarity after the copy-cat accusations surfaced. Watch below and judge for yourself.
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Rihanna & Britney Spears Perform at Billboard Music Awards — Leotards Galore!
Tonight was a big night for Britney Spears. Though she’s appeared on different shows, she has yet to perform at an awards show since the MTV Video Music Awards debacle. When I first heard she’d be performing at the Billboard Music Awards, I thought it was a tabloid rumor. Then I heard the details, and it immediately became clear. Rihanna carried it, and Britney did a brief, one minute performance. Overall, it was fine. Since I’ve attacked Britney Spears for her lack of choreography, I’d like to note that Rihanna’s performance indicates that choreography isn’t essential to success.
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Jesse James Bashes Sandra Bullock to Piers Morgan — Gigantic Douchebag?
Allow me to start this post by saying I’ve been in a lot of relationships with total douchebags, and I still don’t discuss the full extent of their douchebaggery. Why? — Because I’m a lady — and I have some class. And since I’m certain Sandra Bullock is nowhere near the douchebag that my exes were, can someone please explain what exactly is wrong with Jesse James? In a recent interview with Piers Morgan, James implied that Bullock was insincere about her love for him. When asked about Bullock’s public claim that her work improved after they met, James said that she “gave that speech at four different awards shows.” If that’s true, then why did he sit in the audience in his monkey suit with tearful eyes while accepted her Oscar? Here’s the bottom line: divorced or not, there’s a certain level of respect that you give the people you spent part of your life with. There’s a code — and he’s broken it.
Steven Tyler & Carrie Underwood — Best Duet at ACM Awards
Having duets at the American Country Music Awards was great in theory, and rough in execution. Steven Tyler and Carrie Underwood were the only two artists to get it right. Tyler entered the stage singing Underwood’s Undo It, and Carrie Underwood later sang Tyler’s Walk This Way. This idea of artists crossing genres should have been consistent with each duet, but the producers missed the mark. Instead, you had Rihanna singing California King Bed with Sugarland‘s Jennifer Nettles, but Jennifer Nettles didn’t sing a song by Rihanna. To further confuse the theme, Brad Paisley sang with Alabama, who are being labeled in the press as “rockers,” even though they are both clearly country music artists. That’s not exactly crossing genres. The ACM producers should call American Idol producer Nigel Lythgoe to take some advice about executing performance themes. Watch Underwood and Tyler below.
Bret Michaels Sues Tonys and CBS for Head Injury — Dumb Move?
There’s an unwritten rule in Hollywood that you don’t sue the the big dogs, because the amount of money you’ll win from your suit won’t equal the amount of money you’ll lose from “never working in this town again.” If you’ve ever attended a private high school, then you might understand the Hollywood clicks and connections. That’s why I was shocked to read that Bret Michaels sued CBS and the Tonys for the injury that occurred during the 2009 Oscars. I imagine that the actual cause of action is negligence, because Michaels argues that he wasn’t properly instructed how to exit the stage to avoid the set falling on his head. He claims that the head injury ultimately resulted in his brain hemorrhage six month later. Though he could probably win for the head injury that occurred during the show, I doubt he’d win for the subsequent brain hemorrhage. To win, Michaels has the hefty task of proving that, if not for the set falling on his head, he would not have suffered the brain hemorrhage, which is virtually impossible. There’s no definitive way of identifying what caused the hemorrhage. This suit is therefore not worth burning Hollywood bridges. At the very least, you probably won’t see Michaels at the Tonys again, or on any CBS show. That’s a big bridge to burn. As an aside, thank goodness for this law school thing. Without it, I wouldn’t be able to properly analyze the consequences of having a Rock of Ages set fall on your head. Isn’t education wonderful? Watch Bret get flattened by the set below.
Music Spotlight On: Jonsi of ‘Sigur Ros’ — Great Solo Album
My musician buddies are constantly introducing me to new, unique artists, and this process usually entails me feigning an understanding of their technical terms. Every so often though, they reject the shop-talk and use the term “stoner music.” That doesn’t help much either, seeing as how I don’t do drugs. I therefore find myself questioning the occasion for such music in my own life, and the other day — it hit me. Stoner music to them is yoga music to me! Having said that, I’d like to introduce you to Jonsi, an Icelandic musician that is most known as the lead singer of Sigur Ros. His second solo album, entitled Go, was voted best rock/pop album of 2010, at the 17th annual Icelandic Music Awards. Listen to one of my favorite tracks, Around Us, below. Feel free to do downward dog while doing so.
Howard Stern Sues Sirius — Should he Mention it on the Air?
Can someone please explain to me how you sue the company you work for and still churn out a great product for that company every day? Such is the case with Howard Stern, who recently sued Sirius for not delivering his stock grants. Stern’s contract provided stock awards based on increased subscriber growth, and he only received those awards in 2006 and 2007. Sirius and XM merged in 2008, and apparently Sirius doesn’t think the increased subscribers from the merger warrant Stern’s stock awards. According to Stern, his presence at Sirius facilitated the merger, and he’s therefore responsible for the increased subscribers. Translation? It’s arguable. I’m not sure why Stern resigned with Sirius if he felt so wronged by the company, but perhaps they cajoled him into resigning by promising the previous stock awards and then didn’t deliver. It’s unclear. What is clear; however, is that Howard Stern is nothing if not honest on his radio show, which means, at the very least, this should be brought up on the air. There is absolutely no legal consequence of simply saying, “yes, I’ve sued the company, but I cannot discuss it on the air.” That way he kills the elephant in the room.
More Oscar Promos — Anne Hathaway and James Franco Still Unfunny
The very funny Whitney Cummings once told Howard Stern how annoying it is that actors think they’re funny just because they can read lines written by comedians. Judging by the new promos for this year’s Oscars, Whitney’s got a point. I have absolutely no clue why the Academy thought hiring two non-comedic actors to host an awards show would be a good idea, especially since even the greatest comedian has trouble keeping the audience entertained. Watch the extremely unfunny promo below, and try not to fall asleep.