Kim Kardashian Confirms Reggie Bush Dumped Her — Airs Phone Call

I’ve watched many episodes of Keeping Up With the Kardashians, and the clip below might be the only time I’ve ever seen “the real” Kim Kardashian.  She’s constantly acting like a deer in the headlights, who is trying to navigate her crazy family.  On the season finale of her reality show, she actually abandoned her ridiculous, soft-spoken baby voice to have a genuine conversation with her ex-boyfriend, Reggie Bush.  Personally, I’m not sure it was appropriate to have the phone call aired on television, but if she chose not to air it, then she would just be adding to the list of fake episodes that she’s already filmed.  Plus, Reggie Bush had to consent to having his phone call on television, which means I don’t exactly feel sorry for him.  The biggest revelation  in the video below, is that Reggie dumped Kim, despite her previous proclamation that it was “mutual.”

Kim Kardashian Parties With Perez for Her Birthday — Did she Forgive Him?

There’s something very interesting about the photos from Kim Kardashian’s 30th birthday party — Perez Hilton is there.  Perez Hilton has often bashed the Kardashian sisters on his blog, once going so far as to call Khloe Kardashian an “ugly amazon.”  So does she have a forgiving heart, or is she hoping to stay close to Perez to keep her name on his website?  I surmise it’s the latter.  And the Kardashians aren’t alone.  Demi Moore once threatened to sue Perez for child pornography when he posted pictures of her young daughter’s ass on his website.  Perez then countered with a defamation threat.  You wouldn’t guess that by the twitter love between the two.  Demi posted a twit-pic of herself in a bikini, and Perez responded with a pic of himself a speedo.  Demi playfully retweeted his pic, saying, “I think I started a trend.”  Did she forgive him too?  And what about Lindsay Lohan?  Perez often attacks her on his site, yet Lohan had no problem attending his birthday bash, and getting her picture taken with him.  Nothing says forgiveness like getting your name mentioned on a high-traffic blog.

Kim Kardashian Poses Naked for W Magazine — A Raging Hypocrite

Kim Kardashian posed completely naked for W Magazine, shortly after proclaiming that she “regrets” her Playboy shoot, which she only agreed to because of “pressure from her mother.”  Did her mother threaten to ground her if she didn’t pose naked again, or does Kim Kardashian just wait for the public’s reaction to her choices, and then say she regrets them if they are not well-received?  Something tells me it’s the latter.  I wonder what her excuse will be for the W shoot?  Let’s come up with some explanations.  Perhaps she was getting in the shower naked, and a professional photographer happened to be there, and snapped those photos without her knowledge?  That’s way too crafty.  Hmm — Maybe she was drunk?

Tabloid Roundup

  • Laura Dern was blindsided by Ben Harper’s divorce filing.  Radar Online
  • Jersey Shore’s Ronnie is embarrassed for how he treated his girlfriend, Sammi.  Celebrity Cafe
  • Danii Minogue is furious that Sharon Osbourne might return to X-Factor.  Daily Mail
  • Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore renewed their wedding vows in Israel.  Fan Carpet
  • American Idol’s Crystal Bowersox got married.  E! Online
  • Wilmer Valderrama still loves Lindsay Lohan.  OMG, Music
  • Kim Kardashian was in a bar fight.  Miami Herald
  • Johnny Knoxville is still recovering from his penis injury.  Female First
  • Ryan Phillippe is dating AnnaLynne McCord’s sister, Angel.  Ear Sucker

Breaking News: I Don’t Care About Lindsay Lohan

With the news that Lindsay Lohan is “doing well” at her fifth try at rehab, I’d like to officially proclaim that this is my last post dedicated exclusively to her. I would also like to politely ask the Hollywood media to start actually reporting on Hollywood, instead of washed-up actors that are only making the papers because of their bad behavior. It’s true that the girl has a considerable amount of decent movies under her belt at a young age (Parent Trap, Freaky Friday, and Mean Girls), and I appreciate that she’s actually famous for something, unlike Kim Kardashian and Paris Hilton, who are famous for nothing. Having said that, it’s been a full six years since she’s had a quality role, and until then, I’m declaring a moratorium on Lohan coverage. That includes every Lohan, such as her parents (Michael and Dina Lohan), who are equally guilty for capitalizing on their daughter’s fame. Celebrities should not make money off their terrible behavior. So when Lohan exits rehab and starts selling pictures for thousands of dollars of her “reformed self,” I encourage everyone not to look at them. I will try my best to adhere to my own rule.  I’ve posted a very old picture of Lindsay on the right, to remember the days when she was promoting something positive.

Kim Kardashian Regrets Botox? — Let the Back Peddling Begin

Kim Kardashian has officially launched a new media tactic.  Here it is: make poor decisions, encounter a press backlash, and then squirm out of it by saying you regret it.  In a statement to People Magazine, the reality star says that while she is not against others getting botox, the procedure just “wasn’t necessary” for her, given that she’s so young.  This marks her third attempt at back-peddling.  The first was her sex-tape, which she continues to deny releasing, and the second was her Playboy shoot, which she later said she “regrets.”  Its a pretty shrewd strategy if you ask me.

Fantasia For Real — Or Fake?

Sometimes when I have trouble sleeping, I enjoy watching infomercials.  As I was flipping through the channels in search of QVC, I sadly found Fantasia For Real instead.  I apologize to my readers in advance for having to read this review, but I just couldn’t help it.  If you think that Keeping up With the Kardashians is fake, I would encourage you to avoid this train wreck of a show, because “fake” would be an understatement.  In fact, “disturbing” might be more applicable.  Here’s the brief recap: many of the people around Fantasia endlessly discuss her “talent” and super-stardom (I’ll leave that one alone to stay true to my positive and non-judgmental nature).  At one point in the show, there’s a stripper pole, which I presume was some producer’s “funny” idea — I found it random and gross.  There’s also a scene where Fantasia’s mother confronts her about the tabloids, and confirms that neither one of them have a future in acting.  She also has a fake “baby-voice,” in the style of both Kim Kardashian and Paris Hilton (the biggest voice-altering culprits).  I didn’t catch the episode which featured her suicide attempt, but the fact that the cameras stayed rolling immediately after is horrific.  Sure you could argue that taping someone else’s struggle might help another, but you’d be wrong.  It drives up the ratings, and I imagine that a psychiatrist would not prescribe cameras.

Kim Kardashian Takes Mona Lisa Picture — With a Flash

If you have ever been to Paris to see the Mona Lisa, you would know that the process is a bit of nightmare.  Why? Because there are a ton of assholes standing around the painting with their cameras, snapping pictures with their flashes on.  It turns out that Kim Kardashian is amongst the assholes.  She recently posted a picture on her twitter page standing in front of the Mona Lisa, and you can see the flash reflecting off the glass behind her.  Everyone knows that flash based photography ruins paintings, but the Louvre maintains that it’s impossible to police in such a high-volume area.  Here’s my question: if the Louvre can’t even get its act together enough to control photographs of their most coveted painting, how do they control theft?  I hope Mona Lisa is armed, because she might have to protect herself.  Further Reading: How Kim Kardashian Stole Paris Hilton’s Life.

Kim Kardashian’s Playboy Pictures Surface — But Isn’t She “Shy?”

Naked pictures of Kim Kardashian’s 2007 Playboy photo-shoot have surfaced, and Kardashian is allegedly unhappy. She apparently wants to “put this behind her,” and is embarrassed she did the shoot in the first place. Gee, this sounds awfully familiar. I heard the same speech about her sex tape, which she also regrets, though she’s never publicly admitted she released it. When she discussed the tape, she said it was “humiliating” because she’s actually very “shy.” Here’s what I know about myself. You’d have to pummel me over the head with a heavy object to get me into a room for a naked photo shoot. And, unlike Kardashian, I wouldn’t even call myself “shy.” If you are going to promote yourself with sex and nudity, then own it. Don’t take a fully naked photo-shoot, and then release quotes about what a mistake it was. Take a look at Kardashian’s naked pictures, and let me know if you think she’s “shy.”

Mike “The Situation” Sorrentino Will Make $5 Million — He’s Worth Every Penny

If anyone should be making oodles of money off of reality stardom, it’s Mike “The Situation” Sorrentino, of Jersey Shore. Almost every other reality star on television cannot even put two sentences together. Contrary to Kim Kardashian, Paris Hilton, Nicole Richie, The Housewives of Anywhere, and every cast member of The Real World’s last ten seasons, Mike Sorrentino actually has a personality, and he isn’t evil. Yes, the Jersey Shore folks drink lots of liquor and occasionally get it on with “grenades.”  But alcoholism and sexual promiscuity is far more respectable then ripping out hair extensions and rubbing someone’s toothbrush against a shit-filled toilet bowl. So congratulations to The Situation on his five million dollars, and please be sure not to squander your money on excessive GTL.