Broadway star Marty Thomas is trying to locate the evil tweeter that wrongfully divulged his case of crabs on the social networking site. According to Thomas, he has never had a sexually transmitted disease, and the allegation has a negative effect on his career. First of all, since crabs isn’t permanent, is this reaction really warranted? When I first read the story I thought, wow, that really sucks for him, I guess he’ll have to shave all his pubes off. I’m not sure that’s the kind of thought process that warrants a defamation law suit. At least the evil tweeter had the courtesy to think of a curable disease.
Is Taylor Momsen Insane — Revolver Cover Says Yes
I’ve officially moved Taylor Momsen from the celebrity-bad-behavior category to the celebrity-mentally-disturbed category. What does that mean? It means I’m done picking on her. There was a time when Britney Spears was mentally unstable and I also felt sorry for her, instead of rooting for her downfall. That’s the only explanation for Momsen’s picture on the cover of Revolver Magazine, and I therefore think it’s time for the press to back-off and let her begin a recovery process. It’s no fun throwing tomatoes at the nutty chick (at least not in Dishmaster land). I just don’t understand why people are still giving Taylor Momsen paychecks, especially the folks over at The CW, who continue to employ her on Gossip Girl. And the Revolver folks should be ashamed of themselves for preying on the mental instability of a 17 year old girl. I also think that Britney Spears’ father should call Momsen’s parents to instruct them on how to get their daughter back on track. To see the cover, click below.
Katherine Heigl Explains Hot Tub Incident — I Already Love Her
Katherine Heigl has been on image control mode lately, and she’s already improved my view of her. She was taped talking to some cops while in a skimpy bikini, because an annoying neighbor kept screaming at Heigl and her husband while they were hanging out in their hot tub. The major news though, was how Heigl looked in her bikini, and Heigl responded to the story saying, “my boobs look ridiculous.” I thought her disclosure was particularly funny, considering she does have very large boobs. Heigl also added, “I just love it because it’s the only scandalous, interesting thing that we’ve ever had to talk about.” Nothing improves your approval points like a skimpy bikini. Perhaps Obama should wear one next?
Whoopi Goldberg and Joy Behar Walk off The View — Act Like Children
Bill O’Reilly appeared on The View, and when the subject of the mosque came up, O’Reilly insulted President Obama for not publicly denouncing it. When Behar and Goldberg insisted that the mosque was okay because “this is America,” O’Reilly said that 70% of Americans don’t approve of the mosque, especially because “Muslims killed us in 9/11.” His statement outraged Goldberg and Behar, who insisted that it was Muslim extremists and not Muslims who are responsible for 9/11, and O’Reilly said, “aren’t Muslim extremists considered Muslim?” His response caused Behar and Goldberg to walk off the set, which seriously pissed off Barbara Walters (who I often call “the Queen”). Walters said that they should be able to discuss issues without her co-hosts screaming and exiting the set. I agree. For goodness sakes, isn’t it Walters that interviewed Fidel Castro? Should she have bludgeoned him with a stick during the interview? I imagine that Behar and Goldberg will get a serious tongue lashing from Walters, who previously scolded Hasselbeck for the same thing during a discussion on abortion, which angered Hasselbeck so much that she ripped up her flashcards during the interview. Watch the heated exchange below.
Maksim Chmerkovskiy Teaches Brandy by Slapping her Ass? — Sign Me Up
Alright, the title of this post is a bit misleading, because I’m about to actually insult Maksim, but I’m torn between being repulsed and turned on. The very hot Maksim Chmerkovskiy danced the Samba with his partner on Dancing With the Stars, and part of his “teaching method” included slapping her on the ass. When Len Goodman pointed out that it was extremely inappropriate, Maksim got defensive and the two argued back and forth. I’m uncertain how this actually made it into the package, considering it doesn’t portray them in the most flattering light, and the producers should probably scold him for it. Isn’t this supposed to be a fun, dancing show? Since when did these professionals start taking themselves so seriously? Is he going to start beating her with a stick next? Watch below.
UPDATE: When asked about the controversy, Brandy said she “likes the spanking,” because “it gets [her] going a little bit.” As a high school teacher once told me, “it’s only sexual harassment if it’s unwanted.” Oops — did I just confess that?
Jerry O’Connell Questions David Arquette’s Howard Stern Interview — He Would Know
If anyone knows what it’s like to put their foot in their mouth during a Howard Stern interview, it’s Jerry O’Connell. O’Connell said that Arquette’s Stern interview was a “bad idea,” which is likely because O’Connell always reveals too much about his relationship with Rebecca Romijn while he appears on Stern. He once said that Rebecca actually punched him in the face for lying to her about playing golf. Romijn was so upset about his disclosure that O’Connell took a brief Howard Stern hiatus, saying the show “gets him in too much trouble.” In fact, if you hear his interviews on Stern, you would think that Rebecca Romijn was the most annoying wife in history. Stern takes a particular interest in the O’Connell/Romijn relationship because Stern is close friends with John Stamos, who often told Stern how horrible it was to be married to Rebecca. Too confusing?
Nicole Richie Bashes X17 — She’s Right
Nicole Richie wrote an open letter to X17, also know as the scum of the Paparazzi universe. Apparently, the paparazzi park outside her child’s school and wait to snap pictures, which verges on pedophilia. This has to stop. And unfortunately, it will only stop because of the legislature, and not because of open letters to the media from celebrities. You don’t get to put a camera in your hand on a public street and photograph little children without being a stalker. In any other universe these guys would be thrown in jail. Hats to Nicole for speaking her mind though — now it’s time to lobby Congress.
Tim Gunn’s Best Celebrity Bashing Quotes
Tim Gunn does his fair share of celebrity bashing, and I love every second of it. I often pick on celebrities for gratuitously insulting other people, but Gunn never bothers me. He’s just a “truth-teller,” and if the “truth” involves calling celebrities out on their bad behavior, then so be it. In honor of his new book, I’ve listed his best quotes below.
On Whether Lady Gaga’s Outfits Are “Fashion”
“Who would want to emulate that? It’s not fashion. Those are costumes.”
Tim Gunn on Jon Gosselin’s Wardrobe
On Katie Holmes Baggy Jeans
“I have to say, Katie Holmes has become so much more sophisticated in so many ways, but I think she’s in a dip right now. I can’t explain it.”
On Katie Holmes and Tom Cruise’s Choice to Dress-Up Suri
He explained, “Suri is her mother and father’s dress up doll. I think in many ways she’s a fashion victim and it’s very inappropriate…I feel bad for her.”
On Shooting Gossip Girl With Taylor Momsen
“What a diva! “She was pathetic, she couldn’t remember her lines, and she didn’t even have that many. I thought to myself ‘why are we all being held hostage by this brat?”
On Martha Stewart’s Daugther, Alexis
When I was at ‘The Daily Show’ two weeks ago, the producers told me that when Martha was there, she came with Alexis and that’s exactly how Alexis was in the green room. She had this profanity-laced Tourettes. She was saying all these horrible things about her mother, who was right there, and her mother wasn’t responding at all, acting as if she was deaf.
On Vogue’s Anna Wintour at a Fashion Show
“I was with a colleague from Parsons, and we had been discussing the will-she-or-won’t-she-take-the-elevator question, so we ran over to the elevator bay to see if Anna would deign to get on. She wasn’t there. Then we looked over [and we saw] Anna being carried down the stairs. The bodyguards had made a fireman’s lock and were racing her from landing to landing. She was sitting on their crossed arms. I ran to the window to see if they would put her down on the sidewalk or carry her to the car like that. They carried her to the car. And I thought: ‘I will never forget this.’”
On Lindsay Lohan Designing for Emanuel Ungaro
A reporter asked me at a party how I felt about Lindsay Lohan designing for Emanuel Ungaro. I was taken aback because I hadn’t heard anything about it until then. I said that if it was true, “It’s got to be a publicity stunt. Or a crack-smoking board of directors?” How I said it was a little blunt, but I stand by the sentiment. I mean, Lindsay Lohan knows how to buy things, but does she know how to design? And if she does, then at that level?
On Designer Isaac Mizrahi
Don’t even get me started on Isaac Mizrahi. In my view, he’s one of the world’s biggest divas. One time, Isaac threw a fit about a security guard from the second-floor showroom at Liz Claiborne Inc.’s Times Square offices. Why, you may ask? Was he stealing? Harassing guests? showing up late? No, he was wearing brown.
Did You Know: Penelope Cruz has an Equally Hot Sister Named Monica Cruz
I would seriously like to meet Penelope Cruz’s parents, and figure out what kind of genetic experiment they engaged in to produce two of the hottest chicks on the planet. I looked up Penelope Cruz’s sister, Monica Cruz, after reading that she will double for Penelope in Pirates of the Caribbean 4, because Penelope is pregnant. I was amazed to discover the insane resemblance — and they’re not even twins! Apparently, Monica is a trained Flamenco dancer that chucked the dancing career to become an actress, and has yet to take off in the United States. I’m not sure there’s anything wrong with riding your sister’s coattails, though the fact that she looks so much like Penelope could actually hinder her. I imagine watching her in a film and thinking, why didn’t they just get Penelope Cruz for that role instead?
Joan Collins Insults Jennifer Aniston — Itching for Press Attention Joan?
Want to know how to get your irrelevant name back in the press? Insult an A-lister, of course. Joan Collins told the Daily Mail that while Jennifer Aniston is “cute,” she’s certainly no Ava Gardner or Lana Turner. She also cited Angelina Jolie as the only beautiful actress of today’s generation. First of all, I’d like to see the interviewer’s question to prove that Collins gratuitously insulted Aniston to get attention in the media. I would like to also point out that many of the stars that Collins mentioned were deliberately glammed up beyond recognition because that was the style of the time. Strip off their makeup and slap them in a pair of jeans, and I doubt you’d be singing the same tune. Second, Jennifer Aniston is damn beautiful. I won’t compare her beauty to that of Angelina, because their celebrity triangle needs to die — I’m sick of it. Third, lay-off Jennifer Aniston. Hasn’t the girl been abused enough in the press?
UPDATE: Jennifer Aniston’s camp responded to this by saying there is “no need to engage with this nonsense.”