Taylor Swift and Adam Young — All This Cheese is Going to My Ass

Taylor Swift recently confessed to writing her song Enchanted for Adam Young of the band Owl City.  If you haven’t heard of Owl City, I recommend you listen to The Postal Service, because they basically ripped them off.  Anyways, Young got Swift’s love letter, and he wrote a song for her in response.  Though I fancy myself romantic, I draw the line at writing songs for each other in the press.  Plus, I’ve had my allotted share of cheese for the week.  Listen to the songs below.

-n-b-s-p-;

&-n-b-s-p-;

Jessica Simpson’s New York Magazine Cover — Home Run

There are many shocking revelations in Jessica Simpson’s interview for New York Magazine.  Though many might be shocked to learn that she’s a “fashion mogul,” with a company that will likely generally$1 billion in a single year, I’m mostly surprised by the cover.  I often pick on Jessica Simpson for her image issues, so it’s only fair to give her credit when it’s deserved.  She hit it out of the park with this cover.  No gratuitous sexy face — just art.  Good job, Jessica.

Lady Gaga Arrives At the Grammys in an Egg — Or a Silicone Breast

There’s a lot of buzz surrounding Lady Gaga’s Grammy arrival, and I’m convinced the press got it wrong.  If you look closely at the video below, you’ll notice that it’s not an egg at all.  I did some Gaga research, and I discovered that she’s actually spent most of her life dreaming of entering the inside of a woman’s fake breast, and she wanted to fulfill her fantasy in front of her fans.  Alright, that’s a joke . . . or is it?  Watch the video below and judge for yourself.  As an aside, with all the music rip-off posts I’ve been writing lately, it’s only fair to also point out television show rip-offs.  Watch the second video to see what I mean.

Song-A-Like — Lady Antebellum and Alan Parsons Project

I’m titling this post “song-a-like” instead of “music rip-off,” because unlike Lady Gaga’s recent Madonna rip-off, I think this one is up for debate.  A kind musician pointed out the similar choruses between Lady Antebellum’s Need You Now and Alan Parsons’ Eye in the Sky, but even he wasn’t convinced that it was intentional.  I guess there’s only so many ways to write music, and overlaps are bound to happen.  Listen below and judge for yourself.

Tabloid News — Week in Review

  • Pamela Anderson is suing her ex-boyfriend for one million dollars.  TMZ
  • Sean Penn may be dating Charlize Theron or Scarlett Johansson (perhaps at the same time).  Us Weekly
  • Rihanna and Chris Brown can attend the Grammys at the same time, despite the restraining order.  Digital Spy
  • Jude Law and Sienna Miller broke up again.  Huffington Post
  • Meg Ryan and John Mellancamp might be engaged.  Ear Sucker
  • Alex Rodriguez has given Cameron Diaz some serious biceps.  Socialite Life
  • Rihanna might be dating Travis Barker.  The Frisky
  • Eva Longoria was caught kissing Penelope Cruz’s brother, Eduardo Cruz.  Just Jared
  • Lindsay Lohan’s tight, white court dress is sold out everywhere.  The Stir
  • Rosario Dawson is very hot.  Hollywood Tuna

Lady Gaga’s ‘Born This Way’ — Ripoff of Madonna’s ‘Express Yourself’

I won’t spend too much time on this, since I don’t think it’s even up for debate whether Lady Gaga ripped off Madonna.  Just listen to the two songs below and judge for yourself.  If you don’t think Born this Way is just a remix of Madonna’s Express Yourself, then I’d tell you to get your ears checked.  This isn’t the first time Gaga has been accused of ripping someone off — remember her Ace of Base song? Enjoy the songs below.

Best Jerry O’Connell Quotes — A Very Funny Guy

When you think of Jerry O’Connell you might not immediately associate him with comedy. But if you ever hear his Howard Stern appearances, you’d know he’s an extremely funny guy. I’ve decided to compile some of his greatest quotes below. Enjoy!

On his twins learning to talk
“If they see a clock they look at it and say, ‘clock,’ but they mispronounce it. They drop the ‘l’ from it.” I don’t want to react because I don’t want them to know it’s a bad word, but I want to encourage them to talk so I’m like, ‘That’s good!’”

On how he tells his twins apart by their size
“I’d be like, ‘Hey, Big One, get over here!’ Then one night my wife and I were watching a show called ‘Intervention’ . . . It was about two twins and they’re anorexic twins. It’s like one was heavier than the other and then she got an eating disorder and they’d try and out-skinny each other. It was awful. I was like, ‘Never again. I’ll never do it again.’ So now I’m like, ‘You, the possibly a little bit, teeny bit bigger… .”

On calling his pregnant wife “huge” during his Conan O’Brien interview
“I regret calling my wife huge on Conan O’Brien. I meant to say that there are specific areas of my wife that are larger than normal and growing everyday. All other portions of my wife are quite petite. I apologize to her and will be coming home with flowers.”

On the sex of his children (while his wife was pregnant)
“[I’m having] two girls…or two boys with really small genitalia.”

In response to Howard Stern’s questions about when his wife, Rebecca Romijn, punched him in the face for lying to her.
“I would defend myself but I’m afraid of getting punched again. I’m Kidding! I’m kidding, honey.  She’s listening in her car right now and punching the steering wheel.”

Jersey Shore’s Ronnie and Sammi — The Greatest Love Story Ever Told

There’s a fine line between love and hate, and it’s clear after watching last night’s episode of Jersey Shore, Ronnie Magro and Sammi Giancola have experienced both.  My favorite line was said by, as always, Mike “The Situation” Sorrentino, after Ronnie screamed at him for “violating guy code” by telling Sammi about Ronnie’s many indiscretions.  When Mike witnessed Ronnie trashing Sammi’s stuff, he said, “Ronnie got pissed at me for guy code . . . it’s like . . . where is general human code?”  Watch the love affair below.  If only a man loved me enough to throw my bedroom set on the patio.  Such passion!

Charlie Sheen Has Gold Teeth — Porn Star Wasn’t Lying

Charlie Sheen’s porn star, Kacey Jordan, appeared on Howard Stern to discuss her Sheen sexcapades, and she told Stern that Sheen had a “full mouth of gold teeth.”  Because I was born into a family of dentists, you can imagine my horror.  Of all the things I’ve learned about Sheen and his bad behavior, the gold teeth revelation pushed me over the edge.  Who cares about cocaine, right? — as long as you look good while snorting it.  That’s a joke, kids — obviously drugs are bad.  But so are gold teeth.  Because Stern and I are kindred spirits, he too was immediately shocked to learn about this, and he spent about ten minutes asking her related questions.  A part of me thought she must be lying.  Then I saw the picture below.  Click the link to view for yourself.

CHARLIE SHEEN’S GOLD TEETH

Cameron Diaz Feeds A-Rod Popcorn — Who the Fu*K Cares?

This story is still circulating, and it’s too ridiculous to avoid.  There’s a picture of Cameron Diaz feeding Alex Rodriquez popcorn at the Super Bowl, and it’s apparently newsworthy.  I guess that if these news outlets were uncensored, the titles would actually read, “Alex Rodriguez is a pus*y,” but it’s instead more like “Cameron Diaz and Alex Rodriguez pack on the PDA.”  I simply don’t care either way.  To be fair though, I can admit that I have never in my entire life fed a boyfriend food.  I prefer a masculine man, and any semblance of femininity is a massive turn-off.  I suppose that’s also why I don’t want a man that likes to prance around in women’s underwear.