Sometimes actors get an idea in their head that they are actually brilliant, and acting is merely a vehicle for them to enter a more difficult artistic medium, such as directing. But to quote the great Alfred Hitchcock, actors are merely sheep. That brings me to Casey Affleck, who got the idea in his pea-sized-head to make a documentary about Joaquin Phoenix, chronicling his descent into depression and drug addiction. Despite his previous denials, he now admits the film is in fact a “hoax,” which technically makes it a mockumentary instead of a documentary. Call me a humorless bore, but I don’t like being duped, and there’s nothing funny about Affleck’s concept. As for Phoenix’s genius agent at William Morris, my advice is that you should have immediately dropped Phoenix when you learned about his choice to do this film. And since you didn’t, Phoenix should now fire you for not stopping him. That brings me to my closing tagline — good job, guys. Further Reading: Casey Affleck Says Joaquin Phoenix Documentary Not a Hoax — Is he Lying or Evil?
Author: The Dishmaster
Kim Kardashian Takes Mona Lisa Picture — With a Flash
If you have ever been to Paris to see the Mona Lisa, you would know that the process is a bit of nightmare. Why? Because there are a ton of assholes standing around the painting with their cameras, snapping pictures with their flashes on. It turns out that Kim Kardashian is amongst the assholes. She recently posted a picture on her twitter page standing in front of the Mona Lisa, and you can see the flash reflecting off the glass behind her. Everyone knows that flash based photography ruins paintings, but the Louvre maintains that it’s impossible to police in such a high-volume area. Here’s my question: if the Louvre can’t even get its act together enough to control photographs of their most coveted painting, how do they control theft? I hope Mona Lisa is armed, because she might have to protect herself. Further Reading: How Kim Kardashian Stole Paris Hilton’s Life.
Dear Sirius — You’re Doomed Without Howard Stern
Many people don’t remember how they first heard about satellite radio, but I’ll remind them — it’s because of Howard Stern. Before Stern publicly announced that he was moving his terrestrial radio show to Sirius, satellite radio was an urban legend. So with the news that Joe Namath will host a radio show on Sirius, I couldn’t help but wonder whether the folks over at Sirius have any idea about what goes in to a decent radio show. You can’t just pull any famous name off the street, give them a radio show, and hope for the best. You have to find someone seasoned — someone who spent years polishing their craft — someone like Howard Stern. But with every entertainment medium suffering, I suppose I cannot expect radio to understand how to seek out new talent. Even the record industry is incapable of doing this. I get the feeling that Sirius no longer thinks Howard Stern is worth the $100 million per year they originally paid him, and Stern feels disrespected by their current offer. Plus, Sirius keeps putting big names on their stations, in hopes that it will generate the same devoted base that Stern created, but to no avail. Have you not learned your lesson yet guys? After all, they paid Oprah $60 million dollars, and the woman never even appears on her own station — they just play repeats of her television show. Did I mention that she hasn’t once even uttered the name “Sirius” on her own television show? Good job guys for not working that into her contract. But I’m digressing. Here’s my point — pay the guy the $100 million — otherwise, start making those bankruptcy phone calls now. Further Reading: Will Howard Stern Leave Sirius for an Adam Curry Podcast?
Vintage David Letterman — A Very Funny Jim Parsons Interview
I have a couple of confessions to make before writing this post. First, I tricked you with my title. Jim Parsons’ Letterman interview was taped in May of this year, which is not exactly “vintage,” but I had to think of a clever title to make up for the fact that I missed this great interview when it originally aired. To assuage my embarrassment, I’d like to remind you that celebrities often wear dresses on the red carpet that they call “vintage,” which basically just means it wasn’t hand-made with them in mind. Remember Reese Witherspoon’s “vintage” Chanel dress at the Golden Globes, which was actually worn by Kirsten Dunst the year before? My second confession is that I don’t watch the Big Bang Theory, despite its incredible success. But after watching the interview below, I might have to start. Jim Parsons recently picked up an Emmy for his role on the show, which I’m guessing he seriously deserves. Watch and enjoy!
Did You Know: Jason Ritter is John Ritter’s Son?
I might be the dumbest Dishmaster in the world for not knowing this, but I seriously had no idea that Jason Ritter was John Ritter’s son, until Amy Yasbeck mentioned it on The View yesterday, while promoting her new book, With Love and Laughter. I suppose I should have known given the last names, but I’ve seen Jason in many roles, and never placed the name with the face. Jason is one of four of John Ritter’s children, three of which (including Jason) are from his first marriage to Nancy Morgan. John had his youngest child, Stella, during his second marriage to Yasbeck, and he died when she was just five years old. John Ritter is up there with John Candy as a celebrity death that I mourned like the loss of a personal family member. I loved him. This post provides a good opportunity for a funny John Ritter clip, from Pyramid. Watch until the very end to hear his hilarious line.
httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mj8ybfSiVwE&feature=related
Underrated Actress of the Week: Jean Louisa Kelly
I realize that Jean Louisa Kelly has had a very successful television career on the show, Yes, Dear, but I’ve chosen her as this week’s underrated actress because of her voice. Perhaps I should have called it “underrated singer?” Jean Louisa Kelly played Rowina Morgan in Mr. Holland’s Opus, and her voice blew me away. Since then, she has not had any prominent singing roles, which surprises me. You might also remember her as the bitch-with-a-heart in John Candy’s Uncle Buck. She can now be seen in the ABC family series, Pretty Little Liars. If only David E. Kelly was still making Ally McBeal, and Jean Louisa could sing at the bar downstairs. Why is Glee the only television show that’s currently incorporating music? Well, perhaps this post will give Ryan Murphy an idea for a new role. To hear her sing, Someone to Watch Over Me, from Mr. Holland’s Opus, listen below.
Lady Gaga Gets Through Airport Security — What if She Handcuffed the Pilot?
I have to admit that I’m no longer a Lady Gaga fan. Her wacky behavior has crossed the very fine line between artistic and insane, and she’s taken her loose screws to a whole new level, by traveling through the airport with handcuffs and chains. Explain to me how I’m not allowed to bring my moisturizer on the plane, but Lady Gaga is allowed to bring handcuffs? Here’s my message to airport security — I hope you’re on your toes, because Gaga’s accessories can be used for many things — including handcuffing the pilot.
Tim Gunn Calls Taylor Momsen a Thankless Brat — FINALLY!
I often take some time out of my very busy blogging life to attack Taylor Momsen. But this time around, Tim Gunn did my dirty work. Gunn filmed a cameo for The CW’s Gossip Girl, and finally exposed what many Gossip Girl fans have been speculating all along — Taylor Momsen sucks. According to Gunn, Momsen could not remember her minimal lines, which held the cast and crew “hostage.” He also revealed that the director confided in him how terrible it is to work with Momsen, saying with disdain, “this is day in, day out, of my life.” When The CW chucked Momsen last season, I assumed her option was not renewed, and she was gone for good. For some incomprehensible reason, the network has decided to resurrect her from the dead, so that she can return to television to mumble her lines in an excessively tweaked out fashion. I can’t wait.
Today’s Question: Where Did All the Tweenie Idols Go?
Since Hilary Duff stopped making her cutesy movies, there has a been a giant void in tweenie land. Miley Cyrus made a feeble attempt to fill the void, by parlaying the successful Hannah Montana television show into films. But Hannah Montana was the beginning and end of her tweenie films. She never came close to duplicating Duff’s resume, with Raise Your Voice; A Perfect Man; and A Cinderella Story as just a few examples of Duff’s work. Plus, she started wearing leotards and dancing around like a slut — which is another thing Duff never did. Zac Efron also entered tweenie territory with the very enjoyable, underrated film, 17 Again, but he quickly changed pace with Charlie St. Cloud, to avoid being type cast in one particular role. Only time will tell if that was a smart decision. Hilary Duff never quite transitioned into more grown-up roles, after she outgrew her young fan base. So perhaps Efron took that as an example. But I still want a new tweenie-bopper to make the films I love to see. And in case you are wondering, I am an adult — which might make this post slightly creepy.
Gossip Girl Ratings Tank — What Happened?
There is something seriously wrong with the people running The CW, if they cannot get viewers for their highest quality show. The ratings for last night’s season premiere were down 29% from last fall’s season premiere. Why? Because no one knew it was on. A male friend of mine (whose name I won’t mention, for fear that he’s embarrassed to admit his avid devotion to Gossip Girl), was shocked when I asked if he was excited for the new season. “How did I not know it was back?,” he asked. Unlike Gossip Girl, Nikita generated huge ratings (well, huge in CW land), because it was excessively promoted. So get with the program guys.