Can someone please explain to me why celebrities need to be complete assholes and insult other celebrities? Modern Family’s Ed O’Neill recently said, “I love Jane, honestly I do . . . but I don’t think she should have gotten the Emmy for that part. [Sue Sylvester] is just a one-note character.” So who put the stick in O’Neill’s ass, and why did he feel the need to gratuitously insult Lynch (who I have on very good authority is one of the nicest women in the business)? Here’s my educated guess: Ryan Murphy (the creator of Glee) recently insulted Modern Family for their portrayal of the gay couple on the show, saying it’s ridiculous that the two men never kiss. Modern Family creators were pissed at Murphy for his statements, though they suspiciously executed a gay kiss shortly thereafter. Perhaps O’Neill wants to keep the war going, and therefore decided to take a dig at Glee? Oh yeah — and Sofia Vargera lost the Emmy to Jane Lynch.
Fox Created the American Country Awards? Country Music Overload?
Thanks to Fox, there are now four awards shows dedicated exclusively to country music: The CMA Awards, the ACM awards, the CMT awards, and now the American Country Awards (soon to be called the ACA awards, I imagine). So why the country music overload, and should Carrie Underwood even be flattered that she won Artist of the Year at this newly created event? Well, awards shows generate a lot of money, so Fox started to see dollar signs and created an excuse to get a bunch of celebrities in a room together. After all, isn’t that why Dick Clark created the American Music Awards? If they wanted a celebrity gathering to draw ratings, I assume they could have also brought cameras into a Los Angeles plastic surgeon’s office, but then the famous people wouldn’t be wearing pretty ball-gowns, and where’s the fun in that?
It’s Official! — Skating With the Stars is the Dumbest Idea Ever
I don’t want to gloat about being correct about this, but, as predicted, two skaters were injured on the new ABC show, Skating With the Stars. Brandon Michal Smith was hospitalized for breathing problems, and Brooke Castille sliced her finger open. And before a bunch of assholes tell me the show is cursed, I’d like to refer you to my previous post about how it’s not a “curse” if the problem resulted from some network idiots making poor decisions. Here’s an idea for a new show: take a bunch of fat people and force them to go rock climbing on one of the highest mountains in the world. Doesn’t that sound fantastic!? The more life-threatening the task — the better!
Will Howard Stern Re-Sign With Sirius? — All Signs Point to Yes
Here’s what I know about deal-making in Hollywood. It’s often a mess, and it takes a lot of time. This is especially true when the talent is difficult, and Howard Stern fits the bill. He’s a notorious curmudgeon, and he’s been very open about his lengthy contract negotiations with Sirius. So what’s the holdup, and will the deal fall apart? I say no, and here’s why. First, I’ve been a Howard Stern fan since my father used to play him in his car when I was a teenager — and if there’s anything I’ve learned about Stern — it’s that he’s a raging egomaniac who wouldn’t leave Sirius without an elaborate party involving news crews and a megaphone. No such party is planned, because he’s still knee deep in contract negotiations in hopes of re-signing. I imagine that there are three major sticking points and both sides are holding firm. I doubt it’s money related. Stern probably wants more vacation days and less hours on air. Sirius knows that it would defeat his morning radio brand, and that Sirius subscribers are already pissed enough about his insane vacation schedule. So who will give, and when will we know? I predict Sirius will fold in a couple of days, and Stern will sign. Why? Because if Stern doesn’t re-sign prior to his last day on the air, Sirius loses the insane amount of promotion they stand to gain with the announcement. If I’m right about this, I’d like my readers to give me an electronic pat on the back. Get ready.
UPDATE: Howard Stern is rumored to be making a three year, $600 million deal with Apple’s iTunes. Stern refused to put the rumors completely to rest, cryptically saying that he is intentionally keeping tight-lipped about his negotiations. I still think he’ll stick with Sirius, but if he’s actually being offered this insane amount of money (which I don’t think he is), you can be sure he’ll accept. Who the fu*k turns down $600 million?
When Did Paul Rudd Become a Movie Dweeb?
Usually actors are type cast for the rest of their life in their career launching role. But not Paul Rudd. He entered the scene as a witty know-it-all in Clueless and since then he’s played every dork on the planet. I don’t get it. Because I wasn’t sure if I misread him as sexy in Clueless, I re-watched the clip below and confirmed it. So what happened? He’s obviously a working actor, and is therefore not too concerned about his type-casting, but I’d still like to see him return to his roots. It’s hard to even imagine him as sexy after his many guy-who-never-gets-the-girl roles.
When Did Enrique Iglesias Start Recording Britney Spears Music?
Nothing saddens me more than when a talented person conforms to their deficit. Translation? I don’t like a sell-out, especially when its unnecessary. That brings me to Enrique Iglesias, who can actually sing, but you would never know that if you listened to his current single. It’s so abominable that I found myself yelling out loud when I heard it. “Enrique, are you serious!?,” I said, hoping he was listening outside my door. I seriously wonder whether he got this overly produced track from Britney Spears’ rejected pile of music. I know he has to put food on the table, and I know the current state of music is horrible, but this is unforgivable. I’ve posted his current video below, and I’ve also posted one of his best, older songs, called Experiencia Religiosa. After listening to the second song, I hope you’ll join me in my outrage.
Netflix Recommendation: Lars and the Real Girl
I’ll never understand why Ryan Gosling didn’t get an Oscar nomination for this film. Despite getting some great movie roles, I still see Gosling as an extremely underrated actor. I first noticed his talent when I saw The Notebook, and he confirmed his acting chops with Lars and the Real Girl. The film is about a lonely guy from a small town who tells his family that he finally got a girlfriend. His family is thrilled, and they invite them over for dinner to meet his girlfriend. When Lars (Gosling) shows up with a doll and introduces her as his girlfriend, his family has no idea how to react. They decide to treat the doll as if she’s a real person until they can figure out a solution. The exploration of Lars’ mental health, coupled with the task of treating a doll as a real human being, makes this film one of the best I’ve seen. Rent it.
Vintage Interview: Tom Cruise on Letterman
It’s no secret how much I love Tom Cruise. He’s one of my favorite actors in history, and he makes for a great interview. Because I also love David Letterman, you can imagine my happiness when I first watched the interview below. It was taped years ago, and Tom Cruise describes a very funny event when he was piloting an airplane with two friends. He laughs to hard he can barely get through the story. Enjoy!
Ashton Kutcher Sues Vivid Over Sex Tape Claim? — Something Smells Fishy, Ashton
Ashton Kutcher’s alleged mistress is selling a sex tape and it’s being promoted as “the girl who had sex with Ashton Kutcher.” Kutcher is suing, claiming that this “infringes on his celebrity value.” Allow me to put this lawyer thing to use and explain why Ashton Kutcher’s handling of this has become mighty suspicious. First, when he was initially accused of having an affair with this woman by Star Magazine, he threatened to sue for defamation — but he never did. The problem with suing for defamation is that in order for Kutcher to have a case, the accusation has to be false. So the fact that Kutcher never sued leads me to believe that the information is true, and he therefore knew he wouldn’t win. Got it? That brings me to my next point. A small part of me thought Kutcher didn’t sue because, despite his oodles of cash, he simply didn’t feel like it. After all, does anyone believe Star Magazine anyways? Why waste money on a frivolous lawsuit, right? But here’s where it gets suspicious. As soon as this girl released a sex tape claiming that she’s the person who had sex with Kutcher, he decided to sue. Why? I suspect it’s because he finally found a case he can win. He’s not suing for defamation, he’s suing for “using his celebrity name” to promote a product. It’s sort of a smart move that I don’t think anyone but myself would catch. He can win the lawsuit, and the suit lets the public think he’s finally standing up for himself. Just a theory though. I’ve asked my friend to write a guest post on defamation to explain this further, so we’ll see if I ever get it. Are you reading this, mystery friend?