I often like to take credit for being able to predict a show’s success. Why? Because I’m an ego-maniac, of course, and I will take any opportunity to pat myself on the back. When I saw the first promos for Dancing With the Stars a million years ago, I was sure it would be a massive hit. That being said, Skating With the Stars is a terrible idea. Everyone relates to dancing, whether or not they danced professionally. Even Snooki can fist pump to a beat (yes, I consider fist-pumping a form of dance). But needless to say, not everyone can related to ice-skating, and this idea failed in the past. Remember Skating With Celebrities? Oh right — you don’t remember it because no one watched the show. Plus, there are already injuries on Dancing With the Stars — so add some ice — and I imagine there will be an ambulance or two.
Tag: Dancing With the Stars
Audrina Patridge Eliminated Early From DWTS — I Blame Tony Dovolani
Every single time someone prematurely gets eliminated from a television competition, people speculate that viewers assumed the contestant would be safe, and therefore didn’t vote. This conspiracy theory includes Audrina Patridge and Tony Dovolani, who were eliminated from Dancing With the Stars, despite Audrina’s very obvious talent as a dancer. So what’s the real reason she was eliminated? Well, it isn’t just about talent alone, and I’m surprised I have to explain this after so many seasons of the show. It’s about the personality of both the professional dancer and the celebrity, and without a strong combination, they’re doomed. There’s a reason that the same professionals win every year, and it isn’t luck. On Monday’s show, Tony Dovolani further confirmed his disdain for the judges, and I think it was enough to piss off the voting public. When the judges told Audrina that she “lacked passion” on her face, Tony said that he knew the judges missed it, but he’s certain the viewers at home saw it and will vote for him. Big mistake. Don’t insult the judges. Neither Tony nor Maksim Chmerkovskiy have won Dancing With the Stars, and both of them have a history of talking back to the judges. America wants to see that you are deserving of the trophy, which includes being able to accept criticism. Until then — you’ll continue to lose — no matter how talented your partner.
audrina2 7 @ Yahoo! Video
Maksim Chmerkovskiy Teaches Brandy by Slapping her Ass? — Sign Me Up
Alright, the title of this post is a bit misleading, because I’m about to actually insult Maksim, but I’m torn between being repulsed and turned on. The very hot Maksim Chmerkovskiy danced the Samba with his partner on Dancing With the Stars, and part of his “teaching method” included slapping her on the ass. When Len Goodman pointed out that it was extremely inappropriate, Maksim got defensive and the two argued back and forth. I’m uncertain how this actually made it into the package, considering it doesn’t portray them in the most flattering light, and the producers should probably scold him for it. Isn’t this supposed to be a fun, dancing show? Since when did these professionals start taking themselves so seriously? Is he going to start beating her with a stick next? Watch below.
UPDATE: When asked about the controversy, Brandy said she “likes the spanking,” because “it gets [her] going a little bit.” As a high school teacher once told me, “it’s only sexual harassment if it’s unwanted.” Oops — did I just confess that?
Bruno Tonioli Won’t Apologize to Michael Bolton
Dancing With the Stars judge, Bruno Tonioli, told Michael Bolton that his dance was the worst “jive in the history of the show.” The comment was so biting that even Len Goodman told Tonioli to “keep some opinions to himself.” Bolton wasn’t pleased, and he demanded an apology. The producers have come to Tonioli’s defense, saying, Bruno’s job is to give his “honest opinions.” Here’s my question: is Bruno’s job also to be an asshole? Perhaps he should do his own ballroom dance, considering that he has never danced ballroom in his life. In fact, both he and Carrie Ann Inaba have absolutely zero ballroom experience, which leads me to believe they only got the job because everyone thought the show would be a dud, and those two were the best of the worst. Furthermore, the essence of the show is to take regular people and make them dancers. Of course they are going to struggle. That doesn’t mean that you should throw tomatoes at them.
Dancing With the Tears — Do the Stars Need Therapy?
Forgive me for being one of those emotionally devoid people that gets uncomfortable when others weep. But isn’t Dancing With the Stars supposed to be a safe venue for people like me? It’s a dancing show, so you would think that the stars would actually dance, instead of standing around crying all the time. And it’s not just the stars that cry. Carrie Ann Inaba makes a habit of it, and it consistently irks me. There’s a small part of me that wonders if the segment producers walk into the rehearsal room and say, “you know what the viewers would love? Just start hysterically crying about the frustrations of dance.” Anyways, this is a family show. So keep your therapy sessions off-screen.
Jennifer Grey On Dancing With the Stars — The One to Beat — I’m Nostalgic
Jennifer Grey made me miss Patrick Swayze on last night’s Dancing With the Stars. She was fantastic, and I yearn for the good old days of dancing films. After all, I’ve almost exhausted my Gene Kelly Netflix queue, and I’ve seen Dirty Dancing approximately 57 times. And the new Footloose remake doesn’t count. Until the uncreative executives at movie studios come up with an original idea, I will continue to utter the line, “nobody puts Baby in a corner.” It also doesn’t hurt that Derek Hough is her partner, considering he’s the best professional dancer on the show. If you don’t agree, I’d like to remind you that every professional dancer needed an outside choreographer for last season’s finale, except Hough. Watch her performance below, and try not to cry.
Edyta Sliwinska Quits Dancing With the Stars — Bye Bye Hot Dancers
First Karina Smirnoff, now Edyta? Because I’m superficial, and I like my female professional dancers to emit the long-legged hotness that I can never match, Edyta was a personal favorite. She’s quit the show due to a spat with producers, because they did not feature her husband, Alec Mazo, as much as she would have liked. This feud does answer my plaguing question about what ever happened to Alec Mazo, who I figured just did not want to appear on the show. After all, the man won the first season of Dancing With the Stars, so why wouldn’t the show keep him around? The only thing I can think of, is that the producers no longer want their professional dancers to be in relationships, because they like when the press speculates that they are romantically involved with their celebrity dance partners. That would also explain why Jonathan Roberts was fired, and his wife, Anna Trebunskaya, remains with the show. Keeping the husbands away perpetuated the ruse that both Anna and Edyta are hot, single ladies.
Today’s Question: What’s Wrong With Being a “Fame-Whore?”
Today is a new day, and it’s therefore time for a new pet-peave. Both Bristol Palin and Levi Johnston are throwing the word “famewhore” at each other, amidst Bristol joining Dancing With the Stars and Levi’s bid for Mayor of Wasilla. I think it’s fair to say they are both famewhores. But this isn’t the first time I’ve seen famewhore name calling. Remember when douchey bachelor Jake Pavelka called Vienna a famewhore? Last time I checked Jake, there are many ways to meet “the one,” which don’t include starring in an ABC television show, and crying over a balcony like a woman. The truth is, just about everyone on the planet is a “famewhore,” and it’s only a rare few that have both fame and talent. So what’s wrong with a blind quest for fame? If you have ever gone to a show taping, you will see the crew, working tirelessly for an inordinate amount of hours, while the actors just loaf around and wait for their moment to robotically spit out their lines. I realize that acting is an art-form and I don’t mean to insult it. That being said, it would certainly be a nice life to get paid an excessive amount of money to sit around in your trailer while everyone else is doing the heavy lifting.
Has Dancing With the Stars Helped Anyone’s Career?
Washed-up celebrities are always scratching at ABC’s door for a spot on Dancing With the Stars, in hopes that the insane ratings will give them a much needed career boost. But reality shows very rarely propel a has-been back into the spotlight. And for those looking for their first break in the industry, it’s almost impossible to start in reality television and move to a scripted show. So have any of the contestants benefited from the exposure? I’ve done my research, and the results are pretty pathetic. Below is a list that I’ve compiled of the only contestants on DWTS who have managed to gain success once the show ended. I would post every person whose career went nowhere, but here at The Dishmaster I try to avoid negativity. Read below.
Brooke Burke is a personal favorite. She took over from Samantha Harris as co-host of DWTS, and I think she’s doing a great job.
Gilles Marini was the best choice in DWTS history. He was an unknown actor that appeared in the first Sex and the City film, and the show helped him gain further attention. No word yet on whether he’s been able to land acting gigs because of it, but he sure is nice to look at.
This Saved By the Bell alum gained hosting success after the show. Mario Lopez is currently hosting Extra, and has filled in for Larry King on CNN in the past. No return to acting though.
Stacy Keibler went from wrestler, to dancer, to “actress.” She appeared on the short-lived series, What About Brian, and she currently has another TV series in the works. We’ll see how it goes.
Many people think that Hannah Montana became a success because of Miley Cyrus. The truth is, the show didn’t become a smash hit until Billy Ray Cyrus discussed it while appearing on DWTS. So yes — you can blame Billy Ray Cyrus for all things Miley.
I already regret adding Chad Ochocinco to this list, but I’m too lazy to delete him. He has one of those terrible VH1 reality dating shows. I guess it’s better than nothing?
Chuck Wicks is a country music singer that surfaced on the pop culture radar after appearing on the show. He also dated his dancing partner, Julianne Hough, which certainly helped. Lucky for him, he was out for more radio play and album sales, and not an acting career.
Nicole Scherzinger already had success with the Pussycat Dolls when she appeared on DWTS. She’s rumored to be the new judge for the UK ‘X-Factor,’ which may or may not be a step up from her singing group.
I put Erin Andrews on this list because I respect that she wanted to be known for something positive, instead of the terrible stalker-incident. Good for her! Plus, she has a great personality.
Melissa Rycroft might be the only person in history that has turned a bad-breakup into an incredible career boost. She went from The Bachelor, to DWTS, to television host for Entertainment Tonight. That’s quite the corporate ladder.
John O’Hurley was a favorite of mine from Seinfeld. He also did a great job on DWTS, and was robbed of the trophy. He now hosts Family Feud, which is quite possibly the best job on the planet. Little hours, high pay.
Actress that Must Make Comeback: Yasmine Bleeth
During her Baywatch heyday, Yasmine Bleeth went toe-to-toe with Pamela Anderson, and proved that the prettiest brunette will always win-out over the prettiest blond. Sure my hair color makes me biased, but I’m The Dishmaster and favoritism is allowed. So what happened to Bleeth’s career? At the height of her success, she suffered from cocaine addiction, which resulted in a rehab stay followed by an arrest, along with a much-publicized mug shot. She later wrote an article for Glamour Magazine detailing her plight into cocaine addiction, but her career never seemed to recover. That’s either because she did too much damage, or because most of the Baywatch babes had a short shelf-life. But Bleeth’s recent Milk ad proves she’s still got it — so I’d like to officially submit my vote for Dancing With the Stars. If anyone can use that reality show to resurrect their career, it’s her.
