Tag: The View

Sherri Shepherd Discusses Paula Deen’s Diabetes — Hypocrite?

Sherri Shepherd sufficiently confused me on today’s The View, where she discussed the controversy surrounding Paula Deen’s diabetes. Shepherd has openly discussed her own struggle with diabetes, despite also openly maintaining an extremely overweight stature. Though I try not to pick on people’s physical appearance at The Dishmaster, Shepherd’s statements in the video below beg the obvious question — why has no one “shaken” her about her weight issues? Perhaps she needs her own wake up call.

The Bachelor Ratings are Down — Ben Flajnik Stinks!@

When The Bachelorette’s Ashley Hebert reduced her romantic prospects down to a select few, I thought, “ABC is screwed on their next Bachelor. Everyone Ashley likes is boring and unattractive.” The network often picks a reject from the previous season to kick off the new season, because the viewers are already familiar with the star, which increases the likelihood of immediate ratings. But what do you do when the reject lacks the star power necessary to carry the series? In ABC’s case the answer is — cast him anyways. And they’ve paid the price with bad ratings. They should have cast someone entirely new, but I’m sure the powers-that-be felt it was too risky, considering their decision to cast the newbie Matt Grant led to its worst ratings of all time. It was a lose-lose. Perhaps Ashley Hubert should apologize to ABC for her taste in men.

Barbara Walters Discusses the ’10 Most Fascinating People’ — ‘The View’ Ladies Disagree

If you read The Dishmaster regularly, then you know my two biggest idols are Howard Stern and Barbara Walters. In the clip below, you’ll understand my love for Walters, who unveiled her ’10 Most Fascinating People’ on ‘The View’, which resulted in a backlash from her fellow co-hosts. My favorite line of the clip comes from Walters, when she says, “Why do I do this show, I could have a happy life on ABC News.” Watch below.

Barbara Walters Questions Justin Bieber’s Virginity

How dare the ladies of ‘The View’ insult Barbara Walters’ question-asking. She’s a genius — so when she asked whether Justin Bieber is a virgin, I thought: “That’s Brilliant!!! I want to know too! Why didn’t I think of that?!” Too bad she was shot down by her co-hosts. Watch below.

Elizabeth Hasselbeck Attacks Bill Maher — Wildly Inappropriate

It’s time for Elizabeth Hasselbeck to leave the television business. She hogged Bill Maher’s entire segment on The View to address a joke he once made about her, insisting that “she knows funny” and “that wasn’t funny.” The joke in question involved journalist Lara Logan who was captured while covering Hosni Mubarak’s resignation in Egypt. At the time, Maher said that they should trade Hasselbeck for Logan. When she asked if Maher would say that joke again knowing what he knows now, Maher said, “if I knew I’d have to dedicate my entire segment to discussing it, then no.” Their fight reminded me of a bad relationship argument, where the man apologizes for “hurting” the woman, who then insists that she’s incapable of being hurt as some ploy to feign strength. I have to congratulate Bill Maher for being an extremely kind gentlemen to Hasselbeck. Personally, I would have told her to piss-off and stop chirping in my face. She should have just admitted that she can’t get over the boy who pushed her on the playground. Might I also point out that this isn’t the first time Hasselbeck has taken a comedian to task that’s insulted her. Remember when she awkwardly confronted Kathy Griffin? Did she not learn her lesson? I also have a message to The View’s producers. If you invite a guest on your show, then instruct your whiny host to keep her mouth shut. You don’t invite a guest to your party only to set them on fire.

‘The View’ Discusses Joe Paterno — Makes No Sense

There’s only one sane person on The View, and that’s Whoopi Goldberg. When discussing the Joe Paterno scandal, Sherri Shepherd indicated that Joe Paterno is not a “bad person,” because  he’s not the one who engaged in the child abuse. Um — Did Sherri Shepherd drink the crazy juice today? This was followed up by the even crazier Elisabeth Hasselbeck’s assertion that it’s “unfortunate” that Joe Paterno’s legacy will be about what he didn’t do instead of all the good he’s done. Who are these clowns on The View? I’d write a long statement about what constitutes evil, but it’s unnecessary. I’d rather just bash the ladies of The View. Watch the exchange below, and feel free to fast forward through Elisabeth Hasselbeck’s mundate account of the one thing she remembered from her high school psychology class.


 

 

Metallica’​s New Album — ‘Lulu’ — Horrific

I may not be a musician, but I know what crap sounds like. And Metallica’s new album is absolutely horrible. They collaborated with singer-songwriter, Lou Reed, and the album, entitled ‘Lulu’, is based on two plays written by the German playwright Frank Wedekind. It’s predictably a critical and commercial failure. The vocals are largely spoken-word, which makes for painful listening. When asked about his fan-backlash, Metallica drummer, Lars Ulrich said, “It’s not for everyone, but I think it’s a fantastic record.” Allow me to take a moment to speak directly to Mr. Ulrich, who needs a serious Dishmaster lecture. If you want to bastardize this medium by producing shit, then do it in the privacy of your own studio and never release it to the masses. But when you expose our ears to what is largely a joke, you disrespect your fans and make a mockery of an industry that is already struggling. It’s time to exit the crazy house and start making good music again. Listen to a clip of the song, ‘The View’, below.

Lisa Ling Likes Amateur Porn

My apologies to Lisa Ling for the title of this post, but I couldn’t resist. She appeared on ‘The View’ to promote her ‘Our America’ series on Oprah’s OWN network, and the first episode is about amateur porn. When Barbara Walters asked her to discuss the downside, Ling struggled and said that the couple involved can now spend more time with their child because they no longer have to work a full time job. Wow! Perhaps I should quit this time-consuming blog and change careers. Hats off to Lisa Ling for bringing attention to an attention-starved industry. Watch below.

‘Toddlers & Tiaras’ Needs to End — Hear That TLC?

‘Toddlers & Tiaras’ isn’t “controversial” — it’s objectively immoral. It’s not okay to sexualize young children, and it’s certainly not okay for a network to profit from a parent’s disgusting choices. In the clip below, you’ll see a four year old named Maddy Jackson appearing as Dolly Parton, which includes wearing fake breasts and a fake butt. The stir surrounding the show was recently discussed on ‘The View,’ when Eden Wood performed a song, and the show’s viewers erupted in fury. At the time, Barbara Walters argued that no one complained when Shirley Temple did it, at which point Joy Behar rightly pointed out that Shirley Temple was never sexualized. She never waved her ass around while wearing fake boobs. At some point, a network must take responsibility for where they churn profits, and this show needs to end. Everyone involved should be ashamed of themselves for ignoring the moral high-ground in favor of ratings. These are children.

Guiliana Rancic v. LeAnn Rimes: War of the Skinny B*tches

If you’re a fan of The Dishmaster, then you’re well aware that all my girl-crushes are curvy. So when I heard that Guiliana Rancic took aim at LeAnn Rimes for her weight, I couldn’t help but laugh, especially since both of these women are celery sticks. The feud began when Rancic discussed her new restaurant, and the interviewer asked what celebrity she would most like to feed. Rancic mentioned Rimes, and Rimes immediately responded with a dinner invite, suggesting that Rancic might change her mind when seeing Rimes’ food selection. Isn’t Rancic the same person that spoke on ‘The View’ about her fertility doctor’s suggestion to gain weight, saying that there’s too much pressure on her to fit into the E! sample-size outfits to do so?