Author: The Dishmaster

Gregg “Opie” Hughes Insults Howard Stern — STAND DOWN, DIPSH*T

Want to know how a talentless hack gets his name in the press? By riding the coattails of someone people actually care about, of course. Gregg “Opie” Hughes of Opie & Anthony took some time to insult the King of All Media’s reduced radio schedule, with ridiculous claims about how he tanked the Sirius stock and ruined his brand by going mainstream on America’s Got Talent. It goes without saying that Hughes’ probably loses sleep at night thinking of the radio titan, wishing he could garner one tenth of Stern’s payday and even a modicum of his loyal audience. The fact that they guy even got a salary for his horrible radio show is astounding. So Opie — if you’re reading this — just know that when you insult the King — YOU INSULT ME. And in case you’re wondering where this feud began, Stern successfully placed a gag order on Opie & Anthony back in the day, and it appears the bloated baby never got over it. Listen below to Stern recounting the gag order and to Hughes’ original rant.

Adrienne Bailon Insults Britney Spears — Who is Adrienne Bailon?!

Back off Britney, Bitch! Adrienne Bailon boarded another fame train to propel her own, moving from Robert Kardashian to Britney Spears, claiming she worked at X Factor and Britney “can’t hold a conversation.” The panel then heartlessly claimed her mental meltdown can be attributed to “karma,” since Kevin Federline was in a relationship when they began dating. In related news, I find it astounding that a panel of talentless unknowns would take pleasure in shining a spotlight on someone’s mental illness, and then claim she deserved it. The only incoming karma is for their inexcusable attack on someone during the worst time of their life. Here’s hoping these bloated divas have no skeletons. Because if they do, they’ll be hearing from me again.


Real Housewives of Orange County Recap — Ryan Accosts Lydia’s Mother

If all this time you thought Vicky Gunvalson’s boyfriend Brooks was the problem, then I’m guessing you share my shock from the latest episode of Real Housewives of Orange County, where Vicky’s son-in-law Ryan Culberson accosted Lydia McLaughlin’s sweet mother who unassumingly placed her feet on the couch. Ryan preached disrespect while simultaneously hurling profanities and insisting he’d “kick her ass out.” The only moment of relief came when the haughty blowhard attempted to proclaim that he “owned” the house, only to quickly correct himself and say, “I live here.” There’s been hints of his poor behavior, with the ungrateful house guest banning Vicky’s boyfriend from the premises, attempting to drive a wedge in Briana Wolfsmith’s relationship with her mother by constantly threatening to move out. The kid needs sever anger management. Here’s hoping he gets help. Watch a clip below.

Richie Sambora Sings “Come Back as Me” — Swipe at Bon Jovi?

Richie Sambora and Jon Bon Jovi are like macaroni and cheese. It’s better together, but the enjoyable combination can also be volatile. Sambora took his turn in their feud, releasing a song, “Come Back as Me,” with lyrics that clearly take a hit at his former band-mate. Music might be the only medium where the chicks have less emotional drama than the men. Listen below.

Desiree Chose Chris — The Bachelorette is Engaged

I fielded the peanut gallery for reactions to The Bachelorette’s strange ending, and women everywhere seemed to reach a general consensus. Desiree Hartsock was desperate to be married. The cynic in me would like to agree, but I’ll withhold judgment.

In case you missed it, Desiree got dumped by the man she said she loved and would pick at the end, and then did a complete turnaround (WITHIN DAYS) and got engaged to a different man in the finale after her first choice departed. Had I been her personal adviser, I would have told her to wait a few months for the ring instead of accepting a proposal immediately. This would avoid the look of desperation.

All I can say is that a ridiculous show will yield a ridiculous ending. Enjoy the clip below. Good luck you two crazy kids.

Oprah Interviews Lindsay Lohan: WATCH a Clip

Call me heartless, but isn’t orange the worst hue for Lindsay’s Lohan’s comeback conversation? Since she’s had some trouble with the law, the closeup causes a not so friendly reminder. As for the interview itself, here’s hoping this isn’t another empty proclamation of recovery. I’m always rooting for a good turn-around. Watch a preview of Oprah’s interview, which will air August 18th.

Movie Review: Turbo

WRITTEN BY DEVIN CARBAUGH, GUEST CONTRIBUTOR

turboTurbo is the story about overcoming the impossible. Dreaming of winning the Indy 500 is a dream most would find impossible. Dreaming of winning it when you’re a snail? Not a chance! This incredible underdog story reminds viewers that luck is far surpassed by hard work and persistence, and no matter what one’s obstacle, dreams can come true. Turbo is an inspiration to all.

Turbo’s story is told through the framework of two brothers—Turbo and Chet. Turbo, like his name, desires speed and thrill, and is perfectly cast by a cheerful and effervescent Ryan Reynolds. Chet, intent on keeping his brother safe—at times to a stifling and overbearing degree—is cast by the stuffy sounding yet insanely likable Paul Giamatti. The two actors face off perfectly—one, fun loving and the other, overprotective, but nevertheless ultimately embrace brotherly love. The perfect foil to this pair is the two brothers Angelo and Tito who own Dos Bros Tacos. Tito’s real passion is racing, just like Turbo,  while Angelo just wants Tito to toe the line and sell tacos. The parallel story adds additional humor and heart to the film.

The other key defining relationship in this movie is that of Turbo’s with his collective known as The Racing Snails. These snails, unlike Turbo, cannot physically move fast. However, what they lack in speed they make up for with ingenious and crafty methods of winning races. The Racing Snails’ imaginations also embody Turbo’s ideas of not allowing your physical limitations to hold back your dreams. The leader of the crew, Whiplash, both wise and tough, is adeptly portrayed by Samuel L. Jackson. Once Turbo has earned his respect, he and his familial crew help him fulfill his destiny. The other unforgettable members are the super cool low ride Smoove Move, portrayed by none other than smooth rapping Snoop Dogg, and sly and sassy Burn, played by a witty Maya Rudolph. They end up serving as Turbo’s pit crew in the Indy 500, and it is their heart and humor that serve as a glue for the film.

Set in Los Angeles, specifically in the San Fernando Valley, the film takes on an authentic feel, even amidst a storyline of racing snails. The backdrop’s legitimacy paints a vivid picture: what may seem impossible may not be so.

OVERALL RATING: 4/5 DISHES

Tabloid Gossip — Links & Things

 

  • Megan Fox is pregnant. Celebuzz
  • Evan Rachel Wood gave birth. MSN
  • Adrienne Bailon has yet to claim her baggage. Bossip
  • Jodie Sweetin’s ex-factor just got more complicated. TMZ
  • Will.I.Am might join American Idol. E! Online
  • Simon Cowell put a baby in a married woman’s belly. NYDN
  • Raven Symone put one foot out of the closet. CNN
  • Jennifer Aniston is a bare-faced beauty. People
  • The Real Housewives of New Jersey have some real problems. THG

 

 

Anthony Weiner’s New Problem: BARBARA MORGAN

What’s worse? Using Anthony Weiner’s ridiculous campaign to propel your own fame after working as a thankless intern, or being high on his totem pole (no pun intended) and hurling profanities to a journalist? I’m on the fence. In case you missed it, Anthony Weiner’s communications director, Barbara Morgan, wasn’t too pleased when his once intern, Olivia Nuzzi, revealed inside campaign information in a presumed bid for her fifteen minutes. When asked about it, Morgan unleashed a hateful tirade, using words like c***t, slutbag, and twat. When her rant drew criticism, Morgan claimed she thought the conversation was off the record, which the outlet later denied. She has since apologized. But judging from the video below, it seems Barbara Morgan has some work to do. I never thought I’d say this, but can someone bring the class back to campaigning?

Project Runway Season 12 — A REVIEW

For twelve season’s, it’s been consistently clear that Tim Gunn is the star of Project Runway. Until now, the show has minimized its most-important player. Sure he appears in the workroom, but his coveted critiques are edited down to a short screen time, leaving the viewers always wanting more. This season, things changed. Gunn now gets to “save” an ousted designer when he disagrees with the judges. It’s brilliant — and its shocking it didn’t happen sooner. As for the season’s other changes, the jury’s out on the post-runway garment talk, but one thing’s for sure. Zac Posen must go. Yes he’s talented, but he’s extremely difficult to watch. He seems like a self-important prick with no personality. He lacks Michael Kors’ sense of humor, and he has zero chemistry with Klum, whose personality is so far on the other end of the likability spectrum I naturally assume tension between the two. And last but not least, I’m completely aghast at this season’s contenders. They all seem mentally unstable, making this more of a clown contest than a designer showcase. If they’re choosing the best in the country, can’t they find talent and normalcy?