“I apologize for any offense my remarks caused. It was a dumb way of expressing myself. Everyone who knows me knows that I don’t have a prejudiced bone in my body. But as a storyteller I should have been much more thoughtful about the power of language and my choice of words.” Brett Ratner (A.K.A. the douchiest douche on the planet), on saying “rehearsal is for fags.”
Howard Stern Show Crashes Gloria Allred’s News Conference
Howard Stern should give Benjy Bronk a raise. The Stern writer has gotten his ring-master’s name in the press on numerous occasions, most notably for asking Anthony Weiner if he is “more than seven inches.” His latest victim is Gloria Allred, who was set to introduce Herman Cain’s latest sexual-harassment accuser when Bronk took the podium to chant in Hebrew, followed by assurances to the press that he may or may not be the woman in question because perhaps he got “genitalia surgery.” Watch below.
‘X Factor’s’ Stereo Hogzz — Paula Abdul Triumphs
Song of the Day: Ingrid Michaelson’s ‘Sort Of’
Our greatest loves are often the most turmoil-driven. Angst breeds obsession, and obsession is debilitating. So when I came across Ingrid Michaelson’s song, ‘Sort Of’, and I heard the line, “I find you stunning, but you are running me down,” I had to post it. The song is on her 2009 album, ‘Everybody.’ If you’ve ever experienced that kind of painful love that “flattens” you, then pay close attention to the lyrics.
Vintage Clip — Kristen Wiig & Jon Hamm’s Sex — ‘Bridesmaids’
Only a woman could properly write a movie scene that shows what makes sex bad for a woman. And only Kristen Wiig could make it hysterical. I’ve posted one of my favorite movie clips of all time, from Kristen Wiig’s ‘Bridesmaids,’ where Jon Hamm executes what I like to call — “rabbit sex.” It’s too bad that this scene alone knocked Jon Hamm of my fantasy actor list. It’s permanently etched in my mind. Enjoy!
Clip of the Day — Zooey Deschanel’s ‘New Girl’
Justin Bieber on Chelsea Lately — Ego-Inflated?
In case you’re wondering whether Justin Bieber will be the next MC Hammer, the video below will answer your question. He appeared on Chelsea Lately while drenched in Usher’s ego. Did those two clowns sit down and discuss how to ooze douchebag during interviews? Sure the kid is 17, but I predict a full-on waterfall mansion followed by bankruptcy. Click below to see the interview.
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Dancing With the Stars Team Paso Doble — Derek Hough Rescues Hope Solo
I like a feisty man, but after watching Maksim Chmerkovskiy man-handle Hope Solo during the Team Paso Doble practice, I’ve officially changed my ‘Dancing With the Stars’ crush to Derek Hough. When Maksim disturbingly tossed Hope around during what seemed like a temper tantrum, Derek Hough interjected to teach her the step. It’s particularly interesting because Maksim recently attributed Derek’s insane success on the show to his talented partners, saying that if he was given the same partners, he’d be just as good. Perhaps Maksim should watch the video below and then apologize to Derek Hough. It seems like the only person in Maksim’s way is Maksim.
Educational Resource: Maksim is probably wishing that his partners had taken classes from online masters degree programs in performing arts.
Brett Ratner & Michael Jackson Picked on Homeless Man — Ratner Sucks
If you’re a fan of The Dishmaster, then you’re well aware that there are certain celebrities on The-Dishmaster-Sh*tlist. One such celebrity is Brett Ratner, who I personally know is the world’s biggest douchebag. I’d tell you how I know this information — but it would divulge my source — and real journalists know how to keep secrets. But just in case you doubt me, I’ve posted an interview with Brett Ratner on Jimmy Kimmel, where he told a disturbing story about how he and Michael Jackson threw water balloons at a homeless man — because . . . you know . . . that’s such a funny thing to do. Isn’t it great to torment the mentally ill?
External Resource: It will take a large team of people who have received human resources degrees online to get Brett Ratner to work well with other people.
Quote of the Day — Scarlett Johansson
“They were sent to my husband. There’s nothing wrong with that. It’s not like I was shooting a porno. Although there’s nothing wrong with that either.” Scarlett Johansson on the nude photos that were hacked from her cell phone and displayed on the internet.