This is one of the best films I’ve seen in a long time. The film follows Doug MacRay (Ben Affleck), who heads up a four person bank robbery team. They rob a bank, and MacRay follows one of the hostages after she’s released, to ensure she won’t talk to the FBI. They end up dating, and she has no idea that Affleck is the man responsible for her personal nightmare. He wants to “go straight,” which proves impossible. His love interest is played by Rebecca Hall, and I’m uncertain that the film would have survived without her performance. She blew me away. As for Affleck, I think this is the first role of his that I’ve really enjoyed since Good Will Hunting. This is actually the third film he’s directed, though the press says it’s his second. Even Affleck admits that he’s so embarrassed by his directing debut, he’d like to forget about it entirely. I think it’s important to admit his learning curve, because directors don’t make movies like this right out of the gate.
Eight Best Celebrities to Have Coffee With
When I first launched this blog, a very close friend of mine accused me of secretly hoping it would take off and make me millions. When I insisted that was not in fact my motivation, he scoffed sarcastically, and we haven’t spoken since. I stewed about it for days, wondering what my real blogging fantasy actually was. After much self-reflection and many thoughts about how to kill my friend, I discovered my real motivation — coffee with celebrities, of course! There are many people I admire, and would love to have a sit-down conversation with. The people below are at the top of the list. Enjoy!
BILL CLINTON — I have already had the honor of meeting President Clinton, but I’d like another shot. When we met, he politely tried to engage me in conversation, and I froze like a fish stick in my freezer. At the end of my excessive nodding and smiling, President Clinton said, “it was very nice meeting you,” and I replied, “me too.” That doesn’t even make sense! Perhaps with coffee in hand it might go better next time around. I sure do have a lot of questions.
PAUL McCARTNEY — McCartney has always been my favorite Beatle. He never tires of discussing The Beatles, and his live shows are still just as great as they always were. Even though he’s already been asked every great question under the sun, I’d like to think I have some new ones. Plus, I’d like to hang out with the guy.
BRIAN WILSON — I’ve seen Brian Wilson around Los Angeles, and I always wanted to walk right up to him to tell him how much I liked his album, Smile, and then ask, “don’t you want to strangle Mike Love?” I haven’t had the guts as of yet. Plus, I might ask to go into a recording studio with him — just to watch a genius at work.
DAVID LETTERMAN — He’s always been my favorite late night host, and with every page I read from The Late Shift, I find myself loving him even more. I’d have coffee with Letterman under the condition that he answer all my hard-hitting questions about Jay Leno. He’s made his dislike very clear, but he’s never answered detailed questions about what went down when Carson left. I would promise not to ask about his affairs though, because that’s nowhere near as interesting as the late night feud. Actually, this is my fantasy, so I can just ask about both. We’ll have to order a lot of coffee.
HOWARD STERN — Howard Stern and I are kindred spirits. He grew up with a domineering Jewish mother from Long Island, New York, and he is excessively neurotic. His greatest strength is interviewing, but he has yet to answer the hard-hitting questions that he asks his guests daily. He’s never really discussed the breakdown of his marriage, despite him discussing just about everything else on “The History of Howard Stern.” When he initially divorced, his ratings suffered, yet he’s never brought it up in the context of the show. I am confident I could get it out of him. If you don’t like Howard Stern, I would encourage you to listen to his show. Whenever I hear someone bash him, it’s clear they are regurgitating media crud, instead of actually giving an informed opinion. He’s fantastic.
JUDD HIRSCH — Judd is one of my all-time favorite actors. His most notable role is on Taxi, which I grew up watching on Nick at Nite. I fantasized about being a Taxi driver, and when I told my father, he wasn’t pleased. I also saw Judd Hirsch in Art, where he was just as good as his Taxi days. I thought of the many actors I could have picked for this post, and I just can’t think of anyone more interesting then Judd Hirsch.
BARBARA WALTERS — There’s no one else that I wanted to emulate more than Barbara Walters. I wanted to do interviews, and she’s the master. She once interviewed Angelina Jolie after her Billy Bob Thornton divorce, and when Walters asked Angelina what went wrong, Angelina said that “there are two people involved, and there are things I can’t say out of respect for the other person.” Barbara didn’t miss a beat, and said, “tell me what you can say.” Angelina then unloaded. No other interviewer could have been so crafty. In my fantasy, it’s me doing the interviewing, and Babs is the one crying. She’ll then give me all her interviewing secrets, and ABC will hire me to do their Oscar specials since the slot is now open.
LORNE MICHAELS — Lorne Michaels is the Tony Soprano of comedy. All comedians dream of appearing on Saturday Night Live, and the decision starts and ends with Lorne Michaels. He’s been known to randomly fire people, presumably because he no longer thinks they’re funny. The guy even fired Adam Sandler from the show, with no explanation. Lorne is also the guy that suggested Conan O’Brien to take over for David Letterman, after Letterman left for CBS. He can clearly spot talent. So why does he make my list? Because I want to gossip with him about every single person that appeared on Saturday Night Live. What’s the dirt, Lorne?
That’s it for now. I’m sure I’ll update this list as time passes. If any reader out there knows any of these people, and would like to forward this along, be my guest. I’ll buy you a coffee for the hookup.
Rick Sanchez on Jon Stewart: “Jews Are Not Minorities”
May I start this post by saying that I’ve always hated Rick Sanchez, and this provides the perfect opportunity for me to vent my outrage? Oh yeah — and I’m a Jew. In an interview with Pete Dominick, Rick Sanchez unloaded on Jon Stewart. The fight started because Stewart often picks on CNN’s Sanchez, and Sanchez accused Stewart of bigotry for doing so. Why? Because Sanchez is latino, and Stewart “grew up in a suburban middle class New Jersey home with everything you could ever imagine.” When Dominick pointed out that Stewart is himself a minority, and therefore subject to prejudice, Sanchez sarcastically said, “everybody who runs CNN is a lot like Stewart, and a lot of people who run all the other networks are a lot like Stewart, and to imply that somehow they — the people in this country who are Jewish — are an oppressed minority? Yeah.” First of all, I grew up watching Rick Sanchez on my local Miami news station, and I found him to be a prick then, as I do now. Second, it’s disgusting to suggest that Jews are not minorities, and that “he can’t see somebody not getting a job somewhere because they’re Jewish.” Perhaps we should trade looks for a day and compare bigotry — just for shits and giggles. Lastly, Rick Sanchez is a prick. Did I mention that?
UPDATE: Rick Sanchez was fired. It must be because of all those Jews at CNN, right Sanchez? Listen below to hear his original comments.
Underrated Movie of the Week: ‘Management’
People often accuse Jennifer Aniston of being a one-dimensional actress. The truth is, she’s starred in many films that add to her acting resume, but they just don’t garner the same type of attention. One of those movies includes the underrated film, Management, starring Jennifer Aniston and Steve Zahn (one of my favorite actors). The movie is about a sales executive (Aniston) who ends up staying at a dumpy hotel for the night, where she meets a loser that works there (Zahn). Zahn courts Aniston, and if it were anyone but Zahn playing the role, his character would have come off as a crazy stalker. The plot takes some strange and unpredictable turns throughout the film, but you’ll just have to rent it.
Did You Know: George Clooney’s Ex-Wife is Married to John Slattery?
When I first read that John Slattery’s current wife was once married to George Clooney, I thought: “does the woman have a golden p***y!? I apologize for the vulgar language, but hopefully my sneaking suspicion is correct, and my father doesn’t actually read my blog. Anyways, Clooney and Balsam were married for three years. When once asked about his divorce, Clooney said,
[Talia] was the girl I chased and was in love with, the girl I always wanted to marry. I was 28, and in Kentucky when you get to be that age, you’re supposed to get married, and you know exactly what the marriage should be like. I had this image of marriage. When ours didn’t exactly fit that image, I thought it didn’t work. I wasn’t very bright about it. We had to reconstruct our marriage a little bit, and I wasn’t willing to do that. I walked away. I could have been scared. Maybe I wasn’t ready to be married. It was my fault all the way down the line.
Talia, insists that they maintain a “cordial relationship.” In fact, the three of them are so cordial that George Clooney produced the show, K Street, which starred John Slattery, and Talia appeared in four episodes. Now that’s some healthy ex-files. Talia has since played Roger Sterling’s wife, Mona Sterling, on Mad Men.
Celebrity Look-Alikes: Tony Curtis and Ray Liotta
I’ve learned a couple of things about Tony Curtis since his recent death. First, I learned he’s Jamie Lee Curtis’ father (which I am embarrassed to admit I never knew). Second, I learned that he bears a striking resemblance to Ray Liotta. Sure I’m bad at the look-alike game, but I’ve Googled this one and at least three people on the internet agree. That counts for something! If you have never seen a Tony Curtis movie, I would encourage you to rent Some Like it Hot.
UPDATE: Roger Ebert wrote a very beautiful tribute to Tony Curtis on his website. Here’s my favorite line: “The thing about Curtis was, here was a truly great star, a legend, who had a big libido but not a big ego.”
Movieline Attacks John Slattery — Back-Off!
I am an avid reader of Movieline, and I notice that they have recently shifted focus and become a bit of a high-school bully. First they called Jennifer Aniston “box-office poision,” which I proved in a previous post is unequivocally false. Now they have gratuitously attacked one of my favorite actors, John Slattery. In reference to Slattery’s new gig as the spokesperson for Ford Motor Company, Movieline said that it’s good for Slattery, but bad for Ford, since Slattery is only known for his unlikable character on Mad Men. First of all, John Slattery is most known as the politician from Sex and the City (at least in my world, anyways). I’d buy just about anything from someone that starred alongside my beloved Carrie Bradshaw. Also, I ran into John Slattery at a bar in Los Angeles once, and he watched my belongings while I went to the restroom. In Hollywood, that’s equivalent to saving a puppy from drowning in a river. So yeah — I love him.
Jenny McCarthy on Oprah — Says a Whole Lot of Nothing
Oprah has once again scored the less famous half of a Hollywood couple (or ex-couple). Jenny McCarthy appeared on Oprah to promote her new book, Love Lust & Faking It, and Oprah predictably asked about her break-up with Jim Carrey. I’d love to summarize what McCarthy said, but it’s impossible. I’ve posted the video below, and you can figure it out for yourself. She did seem to imply that she dumped Carrey though, which may or may not have been beneficial for Carrey’s career. McCarthy often discussed their relationship in interviews, which peeved me. A-listers should remain private, and piercing the Hollywood veil damages the necessary mystique. Let’s hope that Jim gets back to his comedic roles. I miss him.
Bruno Tonioli Won’t Apologize to Michael Bolton
Dancing With the Stars judge, Bruno Tonioli, told Michael Bolton that his dance was the worst “jive in the history of the show.” The comment was so biting that even Len Goodman told Tonioli to “keep some opinions to himself.” Bolton wasn’t pleased, and he demanded an apology. The producers have come to Tonioli’s defense, saying, Bruno’s job is to give his “honest opinions.” Here’s my question: is Bruno’s job also to be an asshole? Perhaps he should do his own ballroom dance, considering that he has never danced ballroom in his life. In fact, both he and Carrie Ann Inaba have absolutely zero ballroom experience, which leads me to believe they only got the job because everyone thought the show would be a dud, and those two were the best of the worst. Furthermore, the essence of the show is to take regular people and make them dancers. Of course they are going to struggle. That doesn’t mean that you should throw tomatoes at them.
Britney Spears’ Glee Episode — Who is Heather Morris?
On last night’s Britney/Brittany episode of Glee, I noticed the stand-out dance performance of Heather Morris, so I decided to look her up and find out her story. I was shocked to discover that she’s actually a professional dancer, and she performed with Beyonce at the Grammys as one of her Single Ladies. Considering there were only three Single Ladies in total (including Beyonce herself) that’s a pretty huge accomplishment. Apparently, she got the role on Glee because Ryan Murphy asked her to teach the Single Ladies choreography to the Glee cast, and he liked her so much, he hired her for the show. She’s been saying quirky one-liners ever since, while patiently waiting for her chance to strut her stuff. Last night was her chance, and she certainly took advantage of it. Overall, the episode was fantastic. My only complaint was that the men sang Stronger instead of Oops I Did It Again, but you can’t have everything. My favorite line in the episode was said by Heather Morris, when she touched a fellow student’s nappy hair and said, “it looks like a Jewish cloud.” To watch Heather Morris perform single ladies with Beyonce at the Grammys, watch the video below.