Chelsea Handler Attacks Angelina Jolie

Though it’s certainly sad to see any marriage end, I can understand the press’s subtle glee with the Brangelina breakup. First, Angelina Jolie is a fundamentally unlikable star. She weirded us out with the Billy Bob blood vials and seemingly broke up another man’s marriage to America’s sweetheart. Sure you can’t take a man that isn’t already willing to leave, but it’s also low-hanging fruit. Longer relationships are susceptible to outside influence by the mere nature of time, boredom, and mundane life occurrences. The shiny and new will always seem superior. Plus, it’s Angelina Jolie, who is likely one of the last remaining movie-star Goddesses out there. Let’s also not forget their faux-family W Magazine spread which even Jennifer Aniston, who always takes the high road, called insensitive. Reports also circulated that Brad Pitt alienated his close circle of friends when he met Jolie, and she forbade him from acting in moves with sex scenes. One can therefore understand her questionable popularity.

There’s one looming question; however, that I’d like to address, and my readers are free to comment with their own hypothesis. Why does the public constantly pounce on their AMOUNT of children? Is it because they’re aghast at the idea that parents of such a large brood can’t seem to make it work, or is it because half of their kids are adopted? After all, six might seem like a lot, but no one comes down on Jim Gaffigan for it. Even Mel Gibson seemed to get a soft reaction to his now-ninth child.

When I saw the video below from Chelsea Handler, who I usually like, I couldn’t help but have a very negative reaction to her “85 kids” remark,which begged the aforementioned question, and she’s certainly not the only one to make this joke. Leave the kids out of it.

Calvin Harris Release “My Way” — Is it About Taylor Swift?

It always blows my mind how one massive celebrity can launch/solidify careers of every hanger on imaginable. In the case of Calvin Harris, for example, nearly every woman he dates post-Taylor Swift will receive a nugget of fame, because the world wants to know who the potentially broken-hearted man will find as a rebound. As for Tom Hiddleston, it will have the opposite effect. The man was Loki, a serious actor with an impressive resume, and for a brief moment in time, he was that guy wearing a I <3 Taylor Swift shirt at her July 4th party.

Calvin Harris might be talented in his own right, but his new song, “My Way” is grabbing attention for another reason, and it’s that the public wants to know if Taylor Swift is its subject. In fact, he repeats, “You were the one thing in my way,” A LOT, which isn’t exactly a Sunday New York Times crossword. It is worth nothing that man might need a lyricist. When Taylor Swift does this type of thing, there’s many, many more words. Listen below.


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Johnny Depp & Amber Heard Release Divorce Statement

Johny Depp’s attorney, Laura Wasser, is a genius. Though I can’t verify she’s solely responsible for Amber Heard and Johnny Depp’s joint divorce statement, I can say that as a lawyer myself, it’s borderline poetic. TMZ reported that Heard and Depp’s settlement was held up by their joint statement, as Heard wanted Depp to admit his alleged abuse. Depp refused, and they instead both decided on the statement below, which says, “Neither party has made false accusations for financial gain.” Confused? Well, their accusations are contradictory, so it’s impossible for “neither party to make a false statement.” Someone is lying, but based on their jigsaw puzzle of word play, we will never know who it is.

“Our relationship was intensely passionate and at times volatile, but always bound by love. Neither party has made false accusations for financial gain. There was never any intent of physical or emotional harm. Amber wishes the best for Johnny in the future. Amber will be donating financial proceeds from the divorce to a charity.”

They settled on $7 million, which is also interesting, since Heard says it will be donated. It’s doubtful that will dent Depp’s wallet in any capacity, but it sure is a high settlement for such a short marriage. But to quote William Cosgrove, “Heaven has no rage like love to hatred turned, Nor hell a fury like a woman scorned,”

Team Swift. v. Team Harris: Songwriting Feud Surfaces


Team Swift just took down Calvin Harris with a riveting revelation, and Harris is making a meager attempt to fight back. TMZ broke the news that Rihanna’s hit new song, “This is What You Came For,” was in fact written by Swift, not Harris, and the once-secret fact was in retaliation for Harris trashing Swift as a cheater in the press. TMZ furthered that Swift has the rights to revoke the song, but she won’t, unlike Harris, who prevented Rita Ora from singing his song post-breakup. Harris said that while Taylor wrote the lyrics, he wrote the music, and it’s unfair to suggest otherwise. He also encourages her to focus on her new relationship with Tom Hiddleston.

I hope Calvin Harris learned a lesson here. First, HE STARTED IT. He is the one who initially said he got “bored” of their relationship and simply wasn’t “feeling the spark anymore.” He is the one who leaked the fact that HE dumped HER, which would once again circulate the image of a sad single girl who can’t keep a man. If you’re going to play, bring your gloves. Don’t get hit in the face and then baby-cry about how you’ve been had. Listen to the song in question below. It’s good.

Kim Kardashian Takes Aim at Taylor Swift

There are two takes on Taylor Swift. One is that she’s a sweet, shrewd ingenue with a sincere heart, and the other is that she’s a calculated mastermind that has carefully choreographed every stage of her career, even the ones that seemed unplanned. She fought Apple on behalf of indie music artists, for example, and she was praised for her brazen letter to the behemoth. KIM KARDASHIAN GQ NAKED Apple “folded,” and she signed an exclusive deal with the company shortly thereafter. But the timing was a little too close for comfort, and music industry insiders whispered that perhaps the entire event was staged, because these contracts usually take far more time than a few days. As for her Calvin Harris breakup, just when I thought his team might have trumped young Taylor with carefully placed leaks about how the DJ got “bored” with the star and she was some weepy woman begging for a ring, Swift was spotted kissing Tom Hiddleston on a public beach. It goes without saying that she won, and it also goes without saying that if you go up against the Swift machine, you don’t stand a chance. Harris learned that the hard way. But what happens when your war is with Kim Kardashian, whose ass can “break the internet,” and whose image is far different from Swift’s? It’s as if a Kangaroo and an eagle are fighting. It just feels . . . odd.

When Kanye West took a swipe at Swift in a lyric for his new album, ‘The Life of Pablo,’ claiming to have “made that b-ch famous,” Swift hit back during her Grammy speech. Kim wasn’t pleased, and both her and Kanye have long held that he requested permission for the line, and it was granted. See below:

 

Kim says Taylor’s deep emotional wound is nonsense — okay, she says it’s a lie — and that there’s video proof, because a videographer was actually filming their phone call. Why? Because Kim’s husband commissions videographers to film everything when he’s recording an album, for posterity (and possibly, one day, a documentary). And this is where it gets sticky.

“She totally approved that,” Kim says, shaking her head in annoyance. “She totally knew that that was coming out. She wanted to all of a sudden act like she didn’t. I swear, my husband gets so much shit for things [when] he really was doing proper protocol and even called to get it approved.”

… Swift, Kim insists, “totally gave the okay. Rick Rubin was there. So many respected people in the music business heard that [conversation] and knew. I mean, he’s called me a bitch in his songs. That’s just, like, what they say. I never once think,[gasping] ‘What a derogatory word! How dare he?’ Not in a million years. I don’t know why she just, you know, flipped all of a sudden.… It was funny because [on the call with Kanye, Taylor] said, ‘When I get on the Grammy red carpet, all the media is going to think that I’m so against this, and I’ll just laugh and say, ‘The joke’s on you, guys. I was in on it the whole time.’ And I’m like, wait, but [in] your Grammy speech, you completely dissed my husband just to play the victim again.”

Swift’s team responded, saying:

“Taylor does not hold anything against Kim Kardashian as she recognizes the pressure Kim must be under and that she is only repeating what she has been told by Kanye West. However, that does not change the fact that much of what Kim is saying is incorrect. Kanye West and Taylor only spoke once on the phone while she was on vacation with her family in January of 2016 and they have never spoken since. Taylor has never denied that conversation took place. It was on that phone call that Kanye West also asked her to release the song on her Twitter account, which she declined to do. Kanye West never told Taylor he was going to use the term ‘that bitch’ in referencing her. A song cannot be approved if it was never heard. Kanye West never played the song for Taylor Swift. Taylor heard it for the first time when everyone else did and was humiliated. Kim Kardashian’s claim that Taylor and her team were aware of being recorded is not true, and Taylor cannot understand why Kanye West, and now Kim Kardashian, will not just leave her alone.”

So who’s telling the truth? That’s up for you to decide, but perhaps it lies somewhere in the middle. My guess? Taylor knew more than she let on, but perhaps not the entirety of the song. That being said, she’s humorless, and the line in question is pretty tame. I also take issue with the implication that Kim Kardashian is under her husband’s spell and therefore forced to take his side. It’s anti-woman, and I expect more from Team Swift.

 

 

#Tabloid Gossip: Your Weekly #Celebrity Rundown

Khloe Kardashian has a new love interest. RTW

Wilmer Valderrama and Demi Lovato ended their six year relationship. Radar Online

‘Glee’s’ Mark Salling was indicted for possessing child pornography. HR

Jason Derulo is single. TMZ

Curly Sue won ‘The Voice.’ Stuff

These ‘Real World‘ alums just welcomed their eighth baby. WP

Robin Thicke and his much-younger girlfriend are going strong. JJ

Mo’Nique owes a lot in taxes. Fishwrapper

Amber Heard claims Johnny Depp tried to suffocate her with a pillow. Telegraph

Michelle Collins is leaving The View. Variety

Tabloid Gossip: Your Week of Links

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Does Caitlyn Jenner regret becoming a woman? Christian Post

Aubrey O’Day and Pauly D are dating again. Starcasm

Hayden Panettiere re-entered treatment for postpartum depression. Yahoo!

Katy Perry is not phased by Orlando Bloom’s flirty photos with Selena Gomez. HL

Kylie Jenner and Tyga called it quits. People

James McAvoy is back on the market. Jezebel

Will Ozzy Osbourne saved his marriage to Sharon Osbourne with sex rehab? Inquisitr

Jessica Simpson will debut new music. E! Online

Gordon Ramsay has a fifth child on the way. Us Mag

Joan Rivers’ family reached a settlement. CNN

Henry Cavill and his teenage girlfriend called it quits. WetPaint

Tinseltown’s new it-girl, Brie Larson, is engaged. Mtv

Tabloid Gossip: Your Week of News

Susan Sarandon and Debra Messing had a twitter feud. Just Jared

Alexa Chung and Alexander Skarsgard are dating. E! Online

Chyna’s family plans to donate her brain to science. TMZ

Paris Hilton and her boyfriend broke up. Perez

Kylie Jenner and Blac Chyna called a truce. Us Mag

LeAnn Rimes is back in a bikini. Radar Online

Michael Buble has a very cute kid. Pop Sugar

Zac Efron and Sam Miro broke up. Just Jared

Did Jay Z cheat on Beyonce with Rachel Roy? Daily Beast

Is Chloe Moretz dating Brooklyn Beckham? People

Charlize Theron Speaks Out About Sean Penn Breakup

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The kiss of death for most public relationships usually involves large declarations of love, followed by words like “soul mate,” “love of my life,” and “I’ve never felt this way before.” Such was the case with Charlize Theron and Sean Penn, the latter of which even went so far as to suggest that despite his decades-long marriage to Robin Wright Penn and their two children, his marriage to Charlize Theron would actually be his first. Their romance ended shortly after it began, and rumor has it their personal relationship went south while shooting ‘The Last Face,’ together in South Africa.

So what went wrong besides Penn’s prickly on-set demeanor as a Director, and is it true that Theron “ghosted” her then fiance instead of ending the relationship amicably? Theron is now speaking out, and her potty-mouth is in full form. During her interview with WSJ Magazine, she said, “We were in a relationship and then it didn’t work anymore. And we both decided to separate. That’s it.” She added, “When you leave a relationship there has to be some f–king crazy story or some crazy drama. And the f–king ghosting thing, like literally, I still don’t even know what it is. It’s just its own beast.” There you have it.

For more details on whether it’s true that Penn was set to adopt her young son, visit WSJ Magazine.

 

Tabloid Gossip: Your Week of Celebrity Links

Rob Kardashian moved in with Blac Chyna (the ex of Kylie Jenner’s current man). Jezebel

Emily Blunt and John Krasinski are having baby #2. Us Mag

Lucy Hale is single. Just Jared

‘So You Think You Can Dance’ host Cat Deely welcomed her first child. Contact Music

Tori Spelling has some serious debt. ICYDK

Miley Cyrus might be engaged again to Liam Hemsworth. Mtv

Jamie-Lynn Sigler revealed her MS diagnosis. USA Today

Paris Hilton’s brother was ordered to rehab. Ace Showbiz

‘Jane the Virgin’ star Gina Rodriguez is dating Ben Schwartz. UPI

Nick Carter has been sued for his bar brawl. In Touch

Kaley Cuoco has a bangin’ breakup bod. Just Jared