Tag: Simon Cowell

American Idol Is Officially Done — Sucks Without Simon Cowell

Well, it’s official. Start saying your goodbyes to American Idol. I watched the show tonight and hoped for the best. But it just doesn’t work without Simon Cowell. The ship needs a captain, and the captain can now be seen on X Factor, which will soon trounce American Idol in the ratings. I know this not only because I’m a genius, but also because that’s exactly what happened in England. Simon Cowell started in England on a show called Pop Idol, which exploded in the ratings. When he left Pop Idol for X Factor, Pop Idol tanked, and X Factor became an immediate hit. Why? Because Cowell is a necessity, and without him, it’s just another talent show. So Simon — if you’re reading this — I missed you tonight, and I found myself waiting for you to appear at the table.  I’ll see you soon.

Why Can’t George Michael Make a Comeback? — Can Simon Cowell Help?

There’s a rumor flying around that Simon Cowell might attempt to resurrect George Michaels’ pop career, and I’m thrilled if it’s true.  George Michaels’ Faith album is one of the best in history, and the guy just can’t get it together again.  You would think that if you have one incredible album in you, you’d be able to duplicate its success at some point in your life (hear that Alanis?).  But Michael has always been plagued by his personal demons, and I imagine those demons are responsible for his demise.  When he initially attempted a comeback, he appeared on American Idol, and the contestants sang a mash-up of his best songs before George Michael came out to sing his new single.  The energy was immediately sucked out of the room when Michael sang a self-serving, preachy ballad, instead of his greatest song, Faith.  Translation?  It was a squandered opportunity.  I’m not sure it would have mattered much, though, because I bought the album he was promoting, and it was terrible.  It had none of the up-tempo, fun songs on Faith, and it quickly fizzled out.  I think he needs some guidance, and there’s no one better than Cowell.  For nostalgic reasons, I’ve posted Michaels’ Faith video below.  Take the time to watch for the long legged woman leaning up against the jukebox.  Just to brag, she’ s a close friend of mine, and in case you are wondering, her legs still look that good. 

American Idol Judges Announced — They’re Too Famous

I’m still confused about why Fox thinks Jennifer Lopez and Steven Tyler are good ideas for American Idol judges.  The problem last season was that the show became too judge-centered, and the contestants were an afterthought.  The new panel will just further incite that issue.  It’s not possible to have Jennifer Lopez on the judging panel without her stealing the spotlight.  I still maintain that Tommy Mottola would be the better pick, along with a washed-up pop-star that was very famous in her day.  That’s why Paula Abdul worked.  She had the credibility necessary to judge, and she was no longer too famous to divert attention away from the contestants.  Plus, she was a lovable train-wreck, which always made for great entertainment.  None of this matters anyways, because Simon’s Cowell’s X-Factor will trounce American Idol regardless of the judges.  When he launched X-Factor in the UK, Pop Idol (the original hit-show) only lasted one year before getting canned.  I predict the same fate for American Idol.

X-Factor Won’t Ban Prostitutes — Simon Cowell Has a Heart

A new X-Factor scandal has surfaced, and this one is great.  Britain’s The Sun is claiming that X-Factor contestant Chloe Mafia formerly worked as a prostitute.  Simon Cowell’s reaction to the news?  “We don’t discriminate,” he says.  In fact, he’d like to feature her story on the show.  Well, good for X-Factor.  Remember the days of talent-show-innocence, when contestants were banned if they had previous arrests, posed naked, or worked as strippers?  Who says there is still prejudice out there?  I wonder what Frenchie Davis would say about this.

American Idol Band Sues American Idol – For Making My Ears Bleed?

When I first read this story, I thought: Gee, this must have something to do with the fact that the American Idol band is so awful.  Perhaps they are suing American Idol for defamation, because the judges constantly insult the band with covert statements like “I didn’t like the arrangement” or Simon Cowell’s ever popular, “I liked the song until the band kicked in behind you.”  Is it possible the band is suing the show itself for subjecting me to its torture?  No such luck.  The ‘American Idol band is suing the show for the money they allegedly should have received for online music downloads.  Oh well, there’s always the next lawsuit.

Ellen DeGeneres is Starting a Record Label . . . HUH?

Ellen DeGeneres is launching her own record label called eleveneleven.  Her first signed artist will be 12 year old Greyson Chance.  I’m not sure what to make of this.  Can anyone start a label now?  I guess all you need is a ton of dough.  I think the timing of this announcement is pretty perfect though.  Her contract with American Idol is up after this season is over, and she can use this to say that she has the “music experience” necessary to be a judge.  We’ll see if she gets any hit makers though.  When Cowell began American Idol, he already had some huge successes under his belt.  He wasn’t just some funny gy that they threw on the panel.  Watch Greyson Chance sing Lady Gaga’s Papparazi below.  He’s okay I guess, but I’m not sure I have any interest in watching 12 year olds sing.

Paula Abdul Signs Reality Deal for CBS’s ‘Got to Dance’

Was I too quick to judge Abdul’s new management team?  Vulture confirms that Paula Abdul signed a deal to be a lead judge and executive producer on CBS’s new dancing show, ‘Got to Dance,’ which is said to be a hybrid of ‘So You Think You Can Dance’ and ‘America’s Got Talent.’  Abdul has turned down many opportunities since leaving ‘American Idol,’ and it now appears that she was just waiting for the best deal.  Being that she is both a judge and an executive producer, that means she makes double the dough.  Good for her!  I am sad that she likely won’t be joining Simon Cowell on ‘X-Factor, but least she’ll be returning to her dancing roots.  She’s sure come a long way since choreographing for Janet Jackson.

Simon Cowell on Oprah – Watch the Clips

Simon Cowell made an Oprah appearance, as a send off to his last season on ‘American Idol.’  He acknowledged many of the criticisms that we’ve all been talking about, which reminds me of why I like Cowell so much in the first place.  He’s real.  He blamed the sinking ratings on Paula’s exit, but I’m sure he bit his tongue on many of the other complaints.  Watch some clips below.

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Simon Cowell Will Receive Honorary Emmy

Simon Cowell is receiving an International Emmy Founders Award for “having reshaped 21st century television and music around the world.” According to Bruce Paisner, President of the International Academy of Television Arts and Sciences, Cowell has “changed the face of TV around the world.” Wow, that is quite the honor. Although ‘American Idol’ has been very successful, let us not forget that that show was Simon Fuller’s idea and not Simon Cowell’s. It began as ‘Pop Idol’ in England. Furthermore, ‘X Factor,’ is Cowell’s ripoff of Fuller’s idea, which Fuller later sued him for. The matter settled out of court and now Fuller is credited as a creator on ‘X Factor.’ I’m not saying he isn’t worthy of the honor, but lets not sit around and pretend the guy is Aaron Spelling. I think he’s more of a Television personality than he is a series creator.

Steve Lillywhite Continues his Pathetic Plea to Replace Simon Cowell on ‘American Idol’

Does anyone ever get a job this way?  And by “this way,” I mean posting pathetic videos over the internet that encompass old school groveling.  Steve Lillywhite, the music producer behind the first three releases from ‘Dave Matthews Band’ (back when Dave Matthews was actually listenable), wants to be the next ‘American Idol’ judge.  Sure he might know his stuff, but these online videos might actually work against him, as he is absolutely painful to watch.  When asked about Steve Lillywhite as a possible replacement, Simon Cowell gave a far less wordy critique than mine, by basically calling him ugly.  Watch the cringe-worthy video below.