Tag: Simon Cowell

‘Idol’s’ Jacob Lusk Explains ‘Man in the Mirror’ Comment — Still Makes No Sense

Jacob Lusk was voted off ‘American Idol’ last week, and I have to admit I’m shocked he made it this far. My shock has more to do with his personality than his voice. You might remember Lusk’s controversial comment during his pre-performance interview, when he said that if he got voted off, it won’t be because of his singing ability, but rather, it will be because American “didn’t want to look at themselves in the mirror.” The blogosphere erupted with attacks, and Lusk has finally made a feeble attempt at an explanation. When asked what he meant, he said the comment was about “what was going on in the world,” and wanting people to “look at themselves” and “look at what [they] could do to change the world.” Huh? Perhaps Mr. Lusk can explain what “looking in the mirror” has to do with voting him off because of a bad performance. This melt-down provides a great example of why being a successful singer has more to do with personality than singing ability. If you can’t avoid these type of mess-ups or fix them when they occur, then you don’t belong in the industry. Might I also point out for the millionth time that if Simon Cowell was on that panel when Lusk said that, it would have been addressed and put to bed immediately. Bring back Simon!

Casey Abrams Kicked Off American Idol — The Judges Suck

Here’s what I don’t understand about this season’s deplorable American Idol. Do the judges have a plan? Did they just pick some decent singers, put them on stage and decide that everyone’s equal, and it doesn’t matter who gets voted off? That’s certainly my hypothesis, given their lack of negative criticism. I actually thought Casey Abrams would take the Idol crown, until I realized that the judges have done nothing to direct the audience. That means the strongest singers have been voted off, and many of the weaker singers, with absolutely zero personality, are staying. Do the judges seriously think that every singer remaining can have a successful career outside of this talent show? Apparently so, since they arbitrarily compliment everyone. I’d like to take a moment to remind the judges that the competition is not just about singing ability — it’s about looks, personality, and charisma. Until they gain a better understanding of this, it’s basically a crapshoot, and the more talented kids like Casey Abrams, Pia Toscano, and Paul McDonald will get pushed aside. It’s unfortunate and frustrating. I cannot wait for X-Factor. I yearn for Simon Cowell’s return.

Should Jennifer Lopez Leave American Idol?

Rumors are circulating that Jennifer Lopez will leave American Idol at this season’s end, and it’s a great idea. As soon as X-Factor premieres American Idol is done, and JLO is way too business savvy to stay with a sinking ship. She jumped on board a cash-cow at the exact right moment, and I’m certain she’ll flee the ship right before it sinks. The only issue is that she’s likely to leave American Idol for another reality show, which will certainly irreparably damage her brand. Reality television is where stars go to die, and Simon Cowell’s brain-children are the only exception. Either leave American Idol for X-Factor, or return to the movie business.

Pia Toscano Leaves ‘American Idol’ — I Blame the Judges

If I cared about this horrible show anymore, I’d say this is the worst upset in American Idol history. But since I love pointing fingers, I’d like to take this opportunity to point my fingers directly at these terrible judges. If you watched the show last night, you might have noticed that the judges complimented every single person that performed. You know what happens when you don’t insult anyone? America has absolutely no guide — and it becomes a crapshoot. Actually — they did insult someone. They insulted their best singer — which was Pia Toscano, and now Pia Toscano is packing her bags. Specifically, they said she lacked performance quality. Even though that might have been true last night, they also neglected to give every other performer the same criticism (in addition to other, much deserved criticism). You cannot sit back on your throne complimenting terrible singers and expect America to get it right. Believe it or not, Simon Cowell’s criticism affected the votes, and that effect is missing on this season’s show. So good job guys. You have no one to blame but yourself.

‘American Idol’ is Terrible — Judges Say Nothing Negative

American Idol is absolutely unwatchable this season. The judges did not have one negative comment the entire show. How is that possible? Is the entire group going to have a successful music career? Are they already perfect? I’ve never missed Simon Cowell so much. He used to comment on issues outside the performances also, which these judges don’t do. Remember when Simon told Carly Smithson that she “needed to have a talk with the person dressing her at the moment — because she doesn’t look like a star.” Or how about when he told David Cook that his personality seemed “boring.” Is someone planning to tell Pia Toscano that unless she gets more of a personality, she’ll never make it in the business? It’s not just about voice, and even if it were, the judges would still be completely wrong. I’d point out every terrible performer on tonight’s show, but that would just be negative. And here at The Dishmaster I try to be positive.

‘Idol’s’ Jacob Lusk Sings ‘Man in the Mirror’ — Indulgent and Ridiculous

I think it’s safe to say that Jacob Lusk should start to pack his bags.  In case you missed his performance on American Idol tonight, I’ll educate you on his major misstep. In the video before his song, Jacob explained why he chose to sing Man in the Mirror, and he said, “if I end up in the bottom three it won’t be because I sang the song bad . . . it will be because everybody in America wasn’t ready to look at themselves in the mirror.”  No — I’m not kidding.  He actually said that.  I’m sure I don’t need to articulate why this is ridiculous, but I’ll do it anyways in case Jacob is reading this.  Jacob will go home tomorrow, not because I didn’t want to look in the mirror (in fact, I do that all the time).  He’ll go home because he butchered a Michael Jackson song.  I’d also like to add that Simon Cowell would never have let Jacob get away with that video. He would have mentioned it during his critique. This show is dead without him. Watch Jacob’s performance below. 

Casey Abrams Butchers Nirvana Song on ‘Idol’ — Kurt Cobain is Crying

Because I’ve stopped watching American Idol this season, it only makes sense that I’d come across Casey Abrams’ performance of Smells Like Teen Spirit via the brilliant Joel McHale, who tore it apart on The Soup. I’ve been told by a close friend that my blog has become “too negative” and all I can say is that someone has to point this out, and I’m the fortunate volunteer.  To be fair, most of the performances on that night were pretty terrible, because the theme was “the year you were born,” which has always proven to be a disaster for the Idol contestants.  When I first saw the video below, I had to see what the judges said, and it’s official — they are completely crazy.  They actually liked the performance.  Bring back Simon Cowell.

 

Simon Cowell on Elton John — “Take Your Money and Help Upcoming Musicians”

Simon Cowell doesn’t only pick on the little guy — he takes on giants too.  In response to Elton John’s comments about X-Factor “hurting the music industry,” Cowell said, “This is somebody who charges what, a million dollars a private gig? Two million dollars, you know? . . . I tell you what, you just made a million dollars off your last private gig. Go and give it to a bunch of young musicians you care about, put them in the studio. Go and nurture them. Go and spend some time looking after them. Then I’ll buy your argument.”  Good point, Simon.  I’m sick and tired of music titans insulting the current state of the industry and doing nothing about it.  Did I mention that I had a recent dream that I made out with Simon Cowell?  He was a very good kisser.

Jessica Simpson on Simon Cowell’s X-Factor? I Vote Yes!

There’s something very sad about this season’s American Idol — and I’m not referring to the loss of Simon Cowell (though that pains me as well).  It’s the loss of Paula Abdul.  There needs to be a beautiful, somewhat ditzy woman on the panel, who makes you tune in to see what crazy things she’ll say.  Since re-casting Paula Abdul would likely damage the new brand that X-Factor is trying to present, it only makes sense to cast someone similar.  Jessica Simpson is perfect!  Like Paula, Jessica Simpson has had a huge career, most notably with her fashion empire.  And also like Paula, Jessica has trouble expressing her point, and often comes off ridiculous in interviews.  She’s certainly more together than the often slurring Abdul, but I predict that Simpson’s interplay with Simon Cowell would be television magic.  Plus, I have a special attraction to woman with gigantic boobs and I’d like to see her outfits every week.  After all, I’m a Kinsey 2.

American Idol Recap — The Judges Are Crazy

I admit that this season’s American Idol is like a train wreck I can’t turn away from.  Every time someone performs, I yearn for Simon Cowell, especially when the judges are elated with a wretched performance.  Where is Simon to call these performers “indulgent” and “boring.”  As an example, I’m posting a video of Haley Reinhart, whose performance was so cheesy, I thought that she might have practiced it in front of a mirror imagining she was in a strip club.  I hate to be so rude, but watch below and judge for yourself.  Too mean?