The Bellamy Brothers accused Britney Spears of ripping off their song, and their claim is laughable. I’ve definitely accused artists of ripping off other artists on my blog, but that’s certainly not what happened here. The only similarity involves one lyric, and I won’t even repeat it because I’m too lazy to look it up. First of all, the best way to get your washed up name in the press is to mention someone more famous than yourself. In fact, perhaps I should sue Britney Spears for ripping off the song that I sing in the shower every day. Oops — I sing Britney Spears music in the shower — so that doesn’t work. As an aside, Britney’s new song is predictably amazing, so listen below. And since I’m feeling generous, I’ve decided to also post the Bellamy Brother’s song, despite the obvious hypocrisy of giving them attention.
Category: General
Anne Hathaway Impersonates Katie Holmes on SNL — Nails It!
There’s a rumor floating around that Katie Holmes is pissed about Anne Hathaway’s Saturday Night Live impersonation of her. TomKat’s camp denies this, but since they didn’t publicly say it was funny, I’m guessing they hated it. The impression is so dead-on accurate, I think Anne Hathaway actually did Katie Holmes a major favor. Pehaps she should take the time to study the impression so she can figure out why she comes off so strange in interviews. Watch below. It starts around the three minute mark.
CT v. Johnny — The Greatest Moment in Real World/Road Rules History
I stopped watching the Real World/Road Rules challenges many seasons ago, mostly because MTV started casting douchebags, and the show became boring and painful. But when I’ve run out of mindless television, I make an exception. This time around, I’m glad I did. If you’re a fan of the series, then you’ve heard of a certain infamous individual named Chris Tamburello (or “CT”). He’s infamous because he’s been kicked off the show multiple times for fighting, and at one point it looked like he might actually kill his fellow cast member. He’s my favorite cast member, because I’m superficial and he looks like a Calvin Klein model. Also, I have a soft place in my heart for the bad boy who falls in love — and he had a very touching story with a fellow cast member with cancer. Alright, enough with the schmaltz. During the last challenge, CT was called in as a “surprise guest” to battle someone they call “Johnny Bananas.” The clip below might be the greatest moment in reality television history. Not only did he embarrass him but he . . . actually — just watch it. I don’t want to spoil anything. Let’s just say CT’s new nickname may be The Terminator.
The Challenge: Cutthroat – MTV Shows
Is Michael Franti the New Cat Stevens?
Someone once told me that I’m either extremely self-deprecating or extremely self-aggrandizing — there’s no in between. Having said that, I am about to toot my own horn. I think of myself of having an ear for music, despite my inability to play any instrument. In fact, I once bought a very expensive guitar and signed up for lessons, but when my teacher told me to strum I was too embarrassed and immediately quit. Fear not, though! I’ve decided to use this musical ear for the purpose of my very successful blog, and I’ve chosen to highlight two singers, who I think sound extremely similar. Those singers are Michael Franti and Cat Stevens. If you haven’t heard of Michael Franti, listen to his biggest hit below, Say Hey (I Love You). If you haven’t heard of Cat Stevens, throw yourself off a cliff. Franti sounds most like Stevens in his song below, Have a little Faith. For your enjoyment, I’ve also attached Stevens’ song, Moonshadow. If you can’t follow my very confusing road-map, just start clicking random buttons in this post, and I’m sure you will eventually figure it out.
Cat Stevens – Moonshadow by mutluturka
Michael Franti and Spearhead – Say Hey (I Love You) by Mindy Jenks
Tabloid Gossip — Week in Review
- Ally McBeal’s Jane Krakowski is pregnant. E! Online
- Eva Longoria’s Las Vegas restaurant went bankrupt. I recommend she just endorse products instead. It’s a lot less work for a lot more money. Actually, isn’t she the ice-cream girl in Europe? Backseat Cuddler
- In news that no one saw coming, Taylor Swift and Jake Gyllenhaal broke up. People
- Tsunami survivor and model, Petra Nemcova, found love again and is engaged. Love Tripper
- The Kardashians face a $75 million lawsuit over the failed credit they endorsed. Styleite
- Mila Kunis and Macaulay Culkin split after eight years together. In more surprising news, Mila Kunis was dating Macaulay Culkin for the last eight years. Who knew? Entertainment Weekly
- Christina Milian discussed her very public divorce from The Dream (or “The Nightmare” — why has no one else thought of that joke?). MTV
- LeAnn Rimes got a $85,000 engagement ring from Eddie Cibrian just after he lowered his child support payments. Pop Crunch
- Victoria Beckham is pregnant with her fourth child. Something tells me it will be another boy. Hollyscoop
- Lea Michele wasn’t very nice to the adorable Hailee Steinfeld — be careful who you snub — you never know when they’ll do an interview about you being a jerk. Babble
- Zac Efron and Vanessa Hudgens might be back together. To quote the great Jerry Seinfeld, “the first one never takes.” Alright, that was mean — I wish them the best. Celebuzz
- Amanda Seyfried and Ryan Phillippe had their first public kiss. In related news, I think Ryan prefers blonds, which means I’m out of the running. Pop Sugar
- Kelsey Grammer didn’t have a pre-nup. Us Magazine
Howard Stern on Kathie Lee Gifford’s Song: “She’s The World’s Dumbest Person”
Every so often Howard Stern picks on Kathie Lee Gifford, and it’s always radio magic. Here’s his current rant in a nutshell: Kathie Lee graciously took the time on The Today Show to acknowledge the “good deed” of a popular kid in high school who sat at an unpopular kid’s lunch table. Apparently, the unpopular kid is autistic, and Kathie Lee wrote a song on his behalf about being lonely and having no friends. Howard Stern jumped all over this debacle, calling Kathie Lee’s song “God Awful,” and saying it’s akin to “child abuse.” The kid even cried during the performance, which Kathie Lee attributed to her song’s moving quality, and Howard Stern attributed to calling this kid a loser on national television. Have I mentioned that I love Howard Stern? I would highly encourage you to listen to his rant below. I’d bet my two dollar bank account that you will laugh hysterically.
Adam Levine Poses Naked — Proves He’s In Love With Himself
There’s only two singers I’ve stopped listening to solely because of their terrible personalities. If you read my blog, you could easily guess that the lucky singers are Adam Levine and John Mayer. I stopped listening to John Mayer when he began to act ridiculous in interviews, and the Jessica Simpson debacle officially put the fork in him. I banned Adam Levine for just about the same reason. I’m aware that he’s only one member of an entire band, but he’s annoying enough for me to cut off Maroon 5 as a whole. He’s in love with himself, and his new naked ad is no exception. I’ve pulled a quote for your enjoyment. Levine said, “I spend most of my life naked. In fact, I often have to be told by the people around me that it’s inappropriate to be as naked as I am. But I live in California, where it’s always warm, so why not?” First of all Adam, I also live in California, and I can assure you that I wore a very heavy jacket today because it’s too cold for nudity. Second, aren’t you secretly a dorky Jewish guy that couldn’t get laid for most of your teenage life? I don’t know for sure — but I’m guessing. Maybe I just get angry when the Jewish guys date blond chicks — because you know — us Jewish brunettes are more attractive.
Blogging Vacation — Happy Holidays!
To all my loyal readers — I will be taking time off from blogging over the holidays. Thank you for your continued support and Dishmaster love. I hope you are all vacationing somewhere wonderful over the holidays. If not, please at least take the time to watch some mindless television and report back to me upon my return. See you next year!
Sherri Shepherd Sends Jesus Cards to Jews
I’ve heard Sherri Shepherd mention this before, and it’s so annoying I’m surprised I didn’t post about it the first time around. When discussing what cards to send to friends during holiday season, Shepherd says she consistently sends Christmas cards that mention Jesus because “that’s what she believes in.” When Behar asked if she sends those cards to her Jewish friends, Shepherd said yes, followed by the same ridiculous explanation. First of all, may I just say that I find it absolutely infuriating when I’m given Christmas cards? You guessed it — I’m a Jew. I don’t believe in Jesus, and I don’t want your Jesus card! Second, it’s incredibly selfish to use your own holiday as a barometer for what card to send out. Allow me to use an analogy for Sherri Shepherd. Should I give my friend who is allergic to chocolate a big box of chocolates for the holidays? After all, that’s what I eat! And if I eat chocolate, then she should too, right?
Tabloid Weekly Roundup
- Shania Twain is engaged to the ex-husband of the woman who her husband cheated on Shania with. Got that? They swapped. Astrochicks
- Denise Richards is dating Motley Crue’s Nikki Sixx. TMZ
- Nicole Richie explained why she didn’t invite Paris Hilton to her wedding. Ouch! Holly Scoop
- Jessica Simpson’s ex-boyfriend, Tony Romo, is engaged to Candice Crawford (Miss USA and Chace Crawford’s sister). People
- Lorenzo Lamas is on his way to his fifth marriage. The Hollywood Gossip
- Taylor Momsen was dropped from her IMG modeling contract. Celebrity Dirty Laundry
- Vince Vaughn had a baby! Hecklerspray
- Nicollette Sheridan removed her abuse claim from her Desperate Housewives lawsuit. Popeater