You know what I do to feel sexy? I lather myself up with an entire bottle of oil, sprinkle some glitter all over my body, and then I run the shower with my glossy mouth open and say, “make love to me,” even when I’m alone. Doesn’t everyone do that? Apparently, I’m not alone — Beyonce does it too! Who would have thought she’d have it in her to top that pants-less ‘Single Ladies’ video. Her new video, ‘1 + 1’, is so ridiculously over-the-top, I found myself laughing very hard. She must be a genius though — because I couldn’t tear myself away. Did I mention there’s a ridiculous high note at the end of each sentence? You’ll have to see this to believe it. Be sure to get your oil ready — this is contagious.
Category: Music
Paul Simon’s New Album — ‘So Beautiful or So What’ — Incredible
Despite being The Dishmaster, there are times I think I’m living under a rock. I’m constantly in search of new bands to write about, and I lose sight of the reliable legends. One such legend is Paul Simon, who released his new album, So Beautiful or So What, in April — and I’m embarrassed to admit that I only just discovered it. Most of the information I receive is via word of mouth, and this album never hit my direction. So I will take this opportunity to make it up to Paul Simon, who I fantasize about interviewing one day. His latest effort is just as high-quality as his earlier albums, and some reviewers compared it to Graceland. Loyal fan or not — you must buy it. I’d also like to congratulate him on still contributing to his art form, which is very unlike some of his early comrades who no longer write new music (hear that Billy Joel?).
So Beautiful Or So What by Paul Simon
Taylor Swift wears Granny Panties? — She’s a Genius!
Taylor Swift’s skirt flew up at a recent concert, and the blogosphere is taking aim at her choice of underpants, calling them “granny panties.” There’s a very important point that’s being lost here. Taylor Swift is a calculated genius. She obviously chose those under-garments as a safety measure IN CASE her skirt flew up, and it worked. I’m sure she doesn’t go on dates with men in those things — only I would do that.
Aaron Barnhart & The Revelators at ‘R Bar’ — Great Show
When you live in Los Angeles, you’re often exposed to a wide array of douchebags that lie about their accomplishments. So when you meet someone genuine and talented, you can’t help but root for their success. One such talented individual is a Mr. Aaron Barnhart, who I had the pleasure of watching perform at a fantastic Los Angeles venue in Koreatown known as ‘R Bar.’ He was joined by his “Revelators,” which included Robert Columbus (drums), Josh Jove (guitar), and Sam Skolfield (bass guitar). In addition to Aaron’s original material, they played some great blues music, and I looked around the room to discover the crowd feeling the groove. Aaron is about to release his sophomore album, and judging from what I’ve heard so far, it’s going to be damn good. Listen to a tune from his debut album below.
Vintage Quote-of-the-Day — Led Zeppelin’s Plagiarism
“Well, if you listen to the two songs, you can make your own judgment. It’s an exact… I’d say it was a rip-off. And the guys made millions of bucks on it and never said, “Thank you,” never said, “Can we pay you some money for it?” It’s kind of a sore point with me. Maybe some day their conscience will make them do something about it. I don’t know. There are funny business dealings between record companies, managers, publishers, and artists. But when artists do it to other artists, there’s no excuse for that. I’m mad! [laughs]” The late Randy California of the band ‘Spirit, ‘ discussing how Led Zeppelin ripped-off of his song, ‘Taurus,’ for the intro to ‘Stairway to Heaven.’ Listen to the two songs below.
Hugh Grant Goes Undercover in News of the World Scandal — ‘The Bugger, Bugged’
I haven’t commented on the News of the World phone hacking scandal mostly because it’s not fun. It’s gross and sad, and I’m happy to see these blood-sucking-maggots go down in flames. But when I came across an article written by Hugh Grant for the New Statesman, I had no choice but to cover it. First, Hugh Grant is on my celebrity-crush list. And second, his coverage is damn entertaining.
Grant discovered his phone had been hacked after a chance meeting with a paparazzo, and he subsequently “bugged the bugger” to get more information. He later admitted to feeling guilty about the covert recording, but I suppose that’s because, unlike the paparazzo in question, Hugh Grant actually has a soul. As it turns out, the paparazzo was Paul McMullan, one of the whistle blowers that ratted on the publication. There are a few wonderful parts of the secret interview executed by Grant. At one point, McMullan confesses that Murdoch might not have known about the hacking, and that Murdoch himself was furious when Hugh Grant’s sexual escapade with Divine Brown ended up on the front page of his paper. Grant quickly explained Murdoch’s outrage, saying, “it’s because it was his [FOX] film I was about to come out in.” Another gem in the interview occurred when McMullan told Grant that he “lives off his image” and he therefore “can’t complain” about the invasion of privacy. Grant then reminded McMullan that people still came to his films after he was arrested with a hooker. “They don’t give a fuck about your public image,” he said. “They just care about whether you’re in an entertaining film or not.”
Since McMullan is so convinced that he’s entitled to invade the private lives of public figures, my favorite part of the interview was when he disclosed the reason for his whistle blowing. Did he grow a conscience later in life after years in the mud pit? Nope. He blew the whistle because, “a friend of [his] at the Guardian kept hassling [him] for an interview,” and he said, “Well if you put the name of the Castle [his pub] on the front page of the Guardian, I’ll do anything you like.” And there you have it. So what have we learned from this story? I think we learned that if hell exists, there’s a few individuals that might have a front-row seat, and Hugh Grant is a very sexy Hollywood bad-ass. Click the link below to see Grant’s full article.
Jennifer Lopez & Mark Anthony Divorce — The Way They Were
The tragedy of a celebrity breakup is that there’s an internet time capsule with interviews of happier times. Let this be a lesson to famous couples everywhere — don’t publicly declare your love — you might pay for it later. Speaking of paying for it, I’m posting a video of Jennifer Lopez and Mark Anthony’s performance on American Idol, to show that Jennifer Lopez has a very nice ass, and these two might have actually liked each other at one point in time. Actually — they look like two titans competing for stage time. Perhaps that’s the lesson. Don’t marry someone of the same celebrity stature. No one wants to share a spotlight.
Dave Grohl Yells at Rowdy Fan — Dave Grohl is Hot
If you read my blog then you’re well aware of my celebrity crushes. One such crush is Dave Grohl. And to think I’m not even a Foo Fighters fan. He’s a rock star that doesn’t do drugs, he has all his hair, and he’s a great interview. Plus, he’s a bad-ass. Watch the heavily bleeped clip below to understand what I mean. Grohl stopped his concert to yell at a fan in the audience who he spotted fighting. Did I mention that Dave Grohl is hot?
Kristen Wiig is Lola Bunny — Bugs Bunny Reboot
When I sent my friend the video below, he said, “Why are you wasting my time with animated musical renditions of your life story?” He could not be more correct. Cartoon Network rebooted ‘The Looney Toons Show,’ and the very funny Kristen Wiig provides the voice of Bugs Bunny’s lady friend, Lola Bunny. Let’s just say that Lola Bunny has some boy issues, and she can’t seem to keep the crazy on the inside. If you’ve ever had a crush on a boy, then you’ve certainly had some Lola Bunny in you. Besides, we all know that Bugs secretly loves Lola — he’s just scared of his feelings, right? Click the link to watch the video.
Lola Bunny Loves Bugs Bunny
‘The Voice’s’ Dia Frampton — From ‘Meg & Dia’ — Who Knew?
While it’s true that most of the contestants on today’s singing competition shows have had previous experience in the industry, for some reason the news that Dia Frampton had moderate success in the band Meg & Dia — floored me. Her image on ‘The Voice’ is that of a fledgling duck that’s trying to survive against more experienced veterans. She appears shy and has even discussed “stage fright” at certain points. In fact, I feel somewhat duped. To be fair, she discussed her experience with Meg & Dia in a recent interview, saying that she’s struggled for most of her music career and she’s even recorded “in tiny cabins where you can sometimes hear the hum of the dishwasher when the acoustic guitar gets real quiet.” Sure I feel sorry about that dishwasher thing — but judging from the video below — she’s no duck.