Bill O’Reilly appeared on The View, and when the subject of the mosque came up, O’Reilly insulted President Obama for not publicly denouncing it. When Behar and Goldberg insisted that the mosque was okay because “this is America,” O’Reilly said that 70% of Americans don’t approve of the mosque, especially because “Muslims killed us in 9/11.” His statement outraged Goldberg and Behar, who insisted that it was Muslim extremists and not Muslims who are responsible for 9/11, and O’Reilly said, “aren’t Muslim extremists considered Muslim?” His response caused Behar and Goldberg to walk off the set, which seriously pissed off Barbara Walters (who I often call “the Queen”). Walters said that they should be able to discuss issues without her co-hosts screaming and exiting the set. I agree. For goodness sakes, isn’t it Walters that interviewed Fidel Castro? Should she have bludgeoned him with a stick during the interview? I imagine that Behar and Goldberg will get a serious tongue lashing from Walters, who previously scolded Hasselbeck for the same thing during a discussion on abortion, which angered Hasselbeck so much that she ripped up her flashcards during the interview. Watch the heated exchange below.
Tag: Barbara Walters
Mariah Carey’s Image — What Went Wrong
I’ve always been a huge Mariah Carey fan, not only because of her voice, but also because of her personality. She seemed to be the only major superstar that was down to earth. You would never know that information though, based on her recent image in the press. Ever since she married Nick Cannon, she’s become an inaccessible caricature of herself. She recently slipped at a concert and arrived at the airport in a wheelchair. I wouldn’t be surprised if she had handlers spritzing her with Evian water too. Rumor has it she’s pregnant, which might explain the wheelchair, but if I were representing her, I would advise her to tweet something self-deprecating about it. Otherwise, she looks like a strange diva that needs to be wrangled. There are also many stories in the press about her insane entourage, and she often admits to it with a laugh. I’m sick of it. Watch a vintage interview with Mariah below, so you can see what I mean about being down to earth. She discusses her divorce from Tommy Mattola with Barbara Walters. It’s time for a new Barbara Walters interview.
Eight Best Celebrities to Have Coffee With
When I first launched this blog, a very close friend of mine accused me of secretly hoping it would take off and make me millions. When I insisted that was not in fact my motivation, he scoffed sarcastically, and we haven’t spoken since. I stewed about it for days, wondering what my real blogging fantasy actually was. After much self-reflection and many thoughts about how to kill my friend, I discovered my real motivation — coffee with celebrities, of course! There are many people I admire, and would love to have a sit-down conversation with. The people below are at the top of the list. Enjoy!
BILL CLINTON — I have already had the honor of meeting President Clinton, but I’d like another shot. When we met, he politely tried to engage me in conversation, and I froze like a fish stick in my freezer. At the end of my excessive nodding and smiling, President Clinton said, “it was very nice meeting you,” and I replied, “me too.” That doesn’t even make sense! Perhaps with coffee in hand it might go better next time around. I sure do have a lot of questions.
PAUL McCARTNEY — McCartney has always been my favorite Beatle. He never tires of discussing The Beatles, and his live shows are still just as great as they always were. Even though he’s already been asked every great question under the sun, I’d like to think I have some new ones. Plus, I’d like to hang out with the guy.
BRIAN WILSON — I’ve seen Brian Wilson around Los Angeles, and I always wanted to walk right up to him to tell him how much I liked his album, Smile, and then ask, “don’t you want to strangle Mike Love?” I haven’t had the guts as of yet. Plus, I might ask to go into a recording studio with him — just to watch a genius at work.
DAVID LETTERMAN — He’s always been my favorite late night host, and with every page I read from The Late Shift, I find myself loving him even more. I’d have coffee with Letterman under the condition that he answer all my hard-hitting questions about Jay Leno. He’s made his dislike very clear, but he’s never answered detailed questions about what went down when Carson left. I would promise not to ask about his affairs though, because that’s nowhere near as interesting as the late night feud. Actually, this is my fantasy, so I can just ask about both. We’ll have to order a lot of coffee.
HOWARD STERN — Howard Stern and I are kindred spirits. He grew up with a domineering Jewish mother from Long Island, New York, and he is excessively neurotic. His greatest strength is interviewing, but he has yet to answer the hard-hitting questions that he asks his guests daily. He’s never really discussed the breakdown of his marriage, despite him discussing just about everything else on “The History of Howard Stern.” When he initially divorced, his ratings suffered, yet he’s never brought it up in the context of the show. I am confident I could get it out of him. If you don’t like Howard Stern, I would encourage you to listen to his show. Whenever I hear someone bash him, it’s clear they are regurgitating media crud, instead of actually giving an informed opinion. He’s fantastic.
JUDD HIRSCH — Judd is one of my all-time favorite actors. His most notable role is on Taxi, which I grew up watching on Nick at Nite. I fantasized about being a Taxi driver, and when I told my father, he wasn’t pleased. I also saw Judd Hirsch in Art, where he was just as good as his Taxi days. I thought of the many actors I could have picked for this post, and I just can’t think of anyone more interesting then Judd Hirsch.
BARBARA WALTERS — There’s no one else that I wanted to emulate more than Barbara Walters. I wanted to do interviews, and she’s the master. She once interviewed Angelina Jolie after her Billy Bob Thornton divorce, and when Walters asked Angelina what went wrong, Angelina said that “there are two people involved, and there are things I can’t say out of respect for the other person.” Barbara didn’t miss a beat, and said, “tell me what you can say.” Angelina then unloaded. No other interviewer could have been so crafty. In my fantasy, it’s me doing the interviewing, and Babs is the one crying. She’ll then give me all her interviewing secrets, and ABC will hire me to do their Oscar specials since the slot is now open.
LORNE MICHAELS — Lorne Michaels is the Tony Soprano of comedy. All comedians dream of appearing on Saturday Night Live, and the decision starts and ends with Lorne Michaels. He’s been known to randomly fire people, presumably because he no longer thinks they’re funny. The guy even fired Adam Sandler from the show, with no explanation. Lorne is also the guy that suggested Conan O’Brien to take over for David Letterman, after Letterman left for CBS. He can clearly spot talent. So why does he make my list? Because I want to gossip with him about every single person that appeared on Saturday Night Live. What’s the dirt, Lorne?
That’s it for now. I’m sure I’ll update this list as time passes. If any reader out there knows any of these people, and would like to forward this along, be my guest. I’ll buy you a coffee for the hookup.
‘The View’ Ladies Discuss God — Stick to Gossip
There’s a very specific reason I love Barbara Walters on The View. She’s the only sensible lady on the panel, and I often describe her as the Queen of England at a petting zoo. The “hot topic” on yesterday’s show, was the recent scientific explanation about how the wind, and not God, parted the Red Sea. Both Sherri Shepherd and Elizabeth Hasselbeck had a predictable field day with the topic, with Babs filling in for Whoopi Goldberg as moderator. I’ve attached the clip below for your enjoyment, and pay close attention to Barbara’s questions — it’s very funny. She asks both Sherri and Elizabeth multiple times whether they believe in evolution, likely because she was astonished at their response. She also kept asking them whether they believe that everything in the bible should be taken literally, and you’ll have to watch to see their answer. Be careful when you watch it though; your brain might melt.
Welcome Back to The View — My Barbara Walters Tribute
Barbara Walters is back on The View, and no one is happier than me. Growing up, I planned to be just like Babs. I often find myself at Starbucks phrasing questions to my friends the way I think Barbara would, but for some reason I don’t get the same tearful disclosures that she does. When I watch interviews today, I become infuriated at the horrible, judgmental interviewers (not to name names — but like Matt Lauer, for instance), and I yearn for the days when Walters interviewed everyone and their mother. Lucky for me, I get my Barbara fill on The View, where she’s much like the Queen of England at a petting zoo. She’s sadly been on hiatus due to heart surgery, and The View was noticeably different. Ironically, her departure aged the show by about thirty years, with the remaining hosts constantly discussing the gross effects of aging. So welcome back Barbara. It wasn’t the same without you. Further Reading: When Did The View Become a Nursing Home?
Dina Lohan and Matt Lauer — Tales of an Enabler
Rumor has it that Dina Lohan is pissed off at Matt Lauer for the interview below, feeling that he was too tough on her. While it’s true that I hate Matt Lauer’s judgmental interview style, I actually think he was too easy on Lohan, who consistently defends Lindsay on television, insisting that her spirits were fantastic in jail, and she’s doing great in rehab. Wow, Lindsay must be quite the optimistic person. Who knew that jail and rehab could be so enjoyable? I don’t understand why Dina Lohan does these interviews at all, considering they do nothing but hurt Lindsay’s reputation. She comes across as an enabling liar, and isn’t press savvy in the least. My advice for Lindsay is to get some help, do an un-paid Barbara Walters interview, and then go completely underground until she has another role. Unlike all the other famous Hollywood partiers (i.e. Paris Hilton), Lohan actually got famous for a talent (well, a non-sex related talent). So get back to it.
Montana Fishburne Gets Exactly What She Wants — Fame
Despite my incredible urge, I’m not going to comment on the mental capacity of Montana Fishburne, because I’m begrudgingly trying to stay positive. Instead, I’ll pick on the mental capacity of Giuliana Rancic and E!, for the ridiculous interview below. Does Giuliana hope to be an actual reporter, and she’s practicing on Montana Fishburne while she awaits her Barbara Walters promotion? If you remove all the bells and whistles (i.e. the Laurence Fishburne connection, along with the faux-serious interior decorating), you’ve just got an interview with a porn star. Hey, I’ve got nothing against porn stars, but I just hope Rancic makes this a niche for herself, because she’s clearly got a talent. Plus, who doesn’t want to hear what a porn star has to say?
When Did The View Become a Nursing Home?
You wouldn’t think that Barbara Walters’ absence from The View would not have aged the show by 100 years — but it did. For some reason, the show that I love, has turned into a Joy Behar/Whoopi Goldberg gab-fest about how their breasts have fallen, what menopause is like, and how some women suffer from urinal leakage (no I’m not kidding). What on earth has this turned into? Everyone always complains about Elizabeth Hasselbeck, but at least she brings a hot, youth factor to the show. But there’s only so much she can do. When Queen Babs was there, you barely ever heard this talk. That’s either because Babs know what makes a good show, or she’s so concerned with being perceived as youthful, she avoids these topics altogether. Get your act together, ladies!
Mel Gibson Outrage — But What About Sean Connery?
Much of the outrage about Mel Gibson surrounds whether he actually punched his girlfriend in the face, knocking out two of her teeth. But then how did Sean Connery get off scot-free (no pun intended)? In an interview with Barbara Walters, Sean Connery admitted to occasionally hitting his wife — when the situation “merited it,” of course. He said that women often relentlessly try to get the last word, and it “depends entirely on the circumstances” whether they deserve a good slap in the face. Come to think of it, I often fantasize about returning to the good old days, where I could maybe say to a condescending boss or two, “why don’t we just take this outside.” That way I could conserve all of my overflowing wit for theDishmaster.com instead. But not everyone is a Taekwondo master, and so it’s probably best that office fisticuffs are prohibited. Seriously though, if you didn’t know that Sean Connery is a wife-beater, watch the interview below. It’s mind-blowing.
Lady Gaga Appears on Larry King – And Dresses Like Him (Video)
Lady Gaga is hilarious. She interviewed with Larry King, and she chose to copy his style of dressing for the interview. She was wearing a big tie with suspenders! What makes this even better, is that Gaga did the same thing when she interviewed with Barbara Walters. Perez Hilton appeared on ‘The View’ and confirmed Gaga’s intention after Walters told him that she didn’t expect Gaga to dress so conservatively in the interview. “She told me she was dressing like you,” Perez told Walters (who seemed rather flustered at the revelation). Watch the clip below to see what I’m talking about, and scroll through the second clip to see the Barbara Walters interview.