‘Idol’s’ Paul McDonald — The Best of the Night — Judges are Nuts

I just got around to watching last night’s American Idol and, true to form, I became enraged.  I disagreed with the judges on every single performance.  Because I try to be a positive Dishmaster (no — I’m not kidding), I will only point out who I liked that judges did not, instead of listing every single singer that the judges like, who I thought were God awful.  During the judges’ critique of Paul McDonald they insulted his suit (which I liked) and they told him he needed to “go further” with his voice (which is ridiculous).   Not every contestant on American Idol needs to engage in vocal gymnastics to be impressive.  I might stop watching this show altogether, for fear of destroying my television.  Watch Paul McDonald sing Elton John’s Rocket Man below.  He was my favorite of the night, with Casey Abrams coming in a close second.  I keep my mouth shut on the rest.

American Idol Judges Save Casey Abrams — He Gets to Go on Tour

When the judges saved Casey Abrams tonight on American Idol, the real importance is not that he gets to stay in the competition, it’s that he gets to go on tour. Usually only the top ten Idol contestants tour the country, but because the judges saved Casey Abrams, all 11 of the current contestants are included in the tour. So why is this such a big deal? Because Casey Abrams just got guaranteed some serious cash. Idol contestants make a six-figure salary up front, plus an additional percentage of the ticket sales. That’s a lot of money, and judging from Casey Abrams reaction tonight, he’s certainly appreciative. At one point I thought he might pass out, leaving Ryan Seacrest to hold him up — or topple over. Watch the video below to see his reaction.

Casey Abrams Butchers Nirvana Song on ‘Idol’ — Kurt Cobain is Crying

Because I’ve stopped watching American Idol this season, it only makes sense that I’d come across Casey Abrams’ performance of Smells Like Teen Spirit via the brilliant Joel McHale, who tore it apart on The Soup. I’ve been told by a close friend that my blog has become “too negative” and all I can say is that someone has to point this out, and I’m the fortunate volunteer.  To be fair, most of the performances on that night were pretty terrible, because the theme was “the year you were born,” which has always proven to be a disaster for the Idol contestants.  When I first saw the video below, I had to see what the judges said, and it’s official — they are completely crazy.  They actually liked the performance.  Bring back Simon Cowell.


Jennifer Lopez Misses The Paley Center’s American Idol Panel — Back to her Diva Ways?

Whenever a notable part of a show neglects to show up for an important appearance, I can’t help but question their mysterious absence. At last night’s Paley Center panel for American Idol, Jennifer Lopez was a no show. This was particularly strange because the other two judges were in attendance, and one of those judges includes the legendary Steven Tyler. So is the question-and-answer session good enough for Steven Tyler and not Jennifer Lopez? My guess is that Jennifer Lopez thinks the appearance is beneath her and therefore decided not to show. This is a dangerous assumption, but I feel it’s a relatively safe guess. Why? Because not one person mentioned the elephant in the room. If she had some sort of important personal commitment, I’m confident that the moderator would have explained it, so as to make her look better. Things only go unexplained when there’s guilt afoot.

American Idol Performances Not Live — Are the Producers Incompetent?

Fox announced that this week’s American Idol will be pre-taped because there is a “new director and new judges, and it has nothing to do with manipulation.”  Though I agree that this has nothing to do with manipulation, I’m certain it has everything to do with incompetence.  It takes a lot of skill to produce a live show, and pre-taping it is a cop-out way of saying they can’t execute the task.  Furthermore, the essence of American Idol’s brand is that it’s a live show, so this is preposterous.  I’d like to also add that I feel terrible for the audience this week, because if you ever gone to a non-live show taping, then you know it’s absolute torture to sit through five hours of taping for a one hour show.  To put things in perspective, they often don’t even let you leave to pee.  Yeah — you heard me.

American Idol Recap — The Judges Are Crazy

I admit that this season’s American Idol is like a train wreck I can’t turn away from.  Every time someone performs, I yearn for Simon Cowell, especially when the judges are elated with a wretched performance.  Where is Simon to call these performers “indulgent” and “boring.”  As an example, I’m posting a video of Haley Reinhart, whose performance was so cheesy, I thought that she might have practiced it in front of a mirror imagining she was in a strip club.  I hate to be so rude, but watch below and judge for yourself.  Too mean?

American Idol Is Officially Done — Sucks Without Simon Cowell

Well, it’s official. Start saying your goodbyes to American Idol. I watched the show tonight and hoped for the best. But it just doesn’t work without Simon Cowell. The ship needs a captain, and the captain can now be seen on X Factor, which will soon trounce American Idol in the ratings. I know this not only because I’m a genius, but also because that’s exactly what happened in England. Simon Cowell started in England on a show called Pop Idol, which exploded in the ratings. When he left Pop Idol for X Factor, Pop Idol tanked, and X Factor became an immediate hit. Why? Because Cowell is a necessity, and without him, it’s just another talent show. So Simon — if you’re reading this — I missed you tonight, and I found myself waiting for you to appear at the table.  I’ll see you soon.

American Idol Judges Announced — They’re Too Famous

I’m still confused about why Fox thinks Jennifer Lopez and Steven Tyler are good ideas for American Idol judges.  The problem last season was that the show became too judge-centered, and the contestants were an afterthought.  The new panel will just further incite that issue.  It’s not possible to have Jennifer Lopez on the judging panel without her stealing the spotlight.  I still maintain that Tommy Mottola would be the better pick, along with a washed-up pop-star that was very famous in her day.  That’s why Paula Abdul worked.  She had the credibility necessary to judge, and she was no longer too famous to divert attention away from the contestants.  Plus, she was a lovable train-wreck, which always made for great entertainment.  None of this matters anyways, because Simon’s Cowell’s X-Factor will trounce American Idol regardless of the judges.  When he launched X-Factor in the UK, Pop Idol (the original hit-show) only lasted one year before getting canned.  I predict the same fate for American Idol.