There’s a nude photo scandal going on with Blake Lively, and her people insist that the photos are not her. I’ve seen these photos, and it’s difficult to believe her claim. Having said that, I’d like to give a major congratulations to Blake Lively’s representatives for capitalizing on the law of denial. As long as you insist the pictures are doctored, the public will be left with doubt, no matter how convincing the photographs. This is a method that other actors should soon adopt, Vanessa Hudgens in particular. Remember when Hudgens got her phone hacked, and her people confirmed their validity, followed by stern instructions to remove them because she was under eighteen at the time? I’d also like to note that I’ve learned many things from this nude photo scandal. Here’s the most important lesson, which Reese Witherspoon just reiterated: when taking naked pictures and sending them to a boy, make sure to keep my head out of the picture. That way I can always deny it’s my body, and something tells me that it won’t make much of a difference to him anyhow.
Author: The Dishmaster
Reese Witherspoon Insults Paris Hilton & Kim Kardashian at MTV Movie Awards
Either Reese Witherspoon was drunk at the MTV Movie Awards, or she had someone else write her material. Her speech was great, but it certainly seemed out of character. She said “like” about fifty times, and she clearly insulted Paris Hilton and Kim Kardashian, saying, “it’s possible to make it in Hollywood without a reality show.” She also had a very good point about texting naked pictures, advising young girls everywhere to “hide their face.” Perhaps Blake Lively should take notes. Personally, I refrain from sending naked pictures altogether. No matter what the angle, my ass just looks to damn big. Watch Reese’s speech below.
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Jon Stewart on Anthony Weiner — “But We’re Friends”
With the news that Congressman Anthony Weiner sent random women pictures of his penis, it’s only the next logical step that the world would turn to The Daily Show for Jon Stewart’s reaction. Unfortunately for Stewart, the comedy gift horse comes with a price. He and Weiner are friends, which leads Stewart with an uncomfortable task. Watch how he handles it below. As an aside, can someone explain why men think women want to see pictures of their private parts? Women aren’t visual, so looking at a bulge in your boxer/briefs isn’t going to ruffle my feathers. What happened to the good old days of sending flowers?
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Cameron Diaz Loves Sex — It’s Her Favorite Sport
For some reason Cameron Diaz loves to discuss her sex life with the press. That’s either because she’s desperate to perpetuate her hot-chick status, or because she thinks about sex 24 hours a day, and she’s unable to contain these thoughts during interviews. According to Cameron, “sex is her favorite sport,” it’s “the sexiest word in the English language,” and she’s “always in the mood.” If you ask me, Cameron Diaz sure seems easy to please. Personally, when I attempt to make these absolute proclamations, they usually go something like this, “yeah . . . I love sex at all times . . . except those times where the guy is horrible in bed.” Perhaps Cameron should share her Rolodex with the world.
Midnight in Paris — Movie Review
Some film critics say that “Woody Allen is back” with this film. Personally, I’m not sure he ever left. His personal life has always tainted public opinion of his films, so the man has to remind the world of his continued brilliance. And this film is certainly brilliant. It’s one of the best movies I’ve seen in a long time — and the most unique. The movie follows Gil Pender (Owen Wilson) and Inez (Rachel McAdams), as they travel with Inez’s family to Paris for business. Gil is a successful screenwriter who wants to change careers and write a novel, and Inez is an unsupportive fiance that I wished to kill for most of the film. No one can write a couple quite like Woody Allen. Their bickering is incredibly realistic, and I even found myself with some slight post traumatic stress from my previous relationship. Gil is a romantic, and he wishes he lived in Paris in the 20’s. As he’s walking home from a painful dinner with Inez’s family, he gets in a car with some strangers and finds himself transported to the 20’s. While there, he meets some famous literary and artistic icons, whose names I will keep a secret so that you can partake in the same very enjoyable guessing game. Let’s just say Adrian Brody was my favorite. Gil’s experience with these characters not only helps his novel, but it also helps him appreciate the present. Only Woody Allen can write a romantic film that doesn’t involve a man running for an airplane before the love of his life leaves him forever. Some stories are simple — and beautiful. OVERALL RATING: DISHTASTIC
Hangover Part II — Movie Review
When a movie is good, you might as well make it twice, right? There’s a lot of negative film reviews out there for this sequel, and I can’t help but think those film critics missed the genius of duplicating a format. After all, isn’t that why we remake old classics? The Hangover writers are just ahead of their time. They re-made a movie within two years of its original release — and if you liked the first one — then you’ll like the second one. There’s no need to summarize the plot for this review, other than to say that Stu is getting married again — and this time it’s in Thailand. The subsequent hilarity is much like the first film, but with different jokes. Oh yeah — it’s slightly grosser. Go see it. I promise you’ll laugh. OVERALL RATING: DISHTASTIC
Tabloid Gossip — Weekly Recap
- Bradley Cooper may be dating Olivia Wilde. Hot Momma
- Chelsea Handler admits she had an abortion. Vibe
- Kim Kardashian’s ass defies gravity. The Superficial
- John Edwards was indicted for using campaign funds to cover up his affair. Huffington Post
- Brad Pitt proves he’s still damn beautiful at the Tree of Life premiere. Ok! Magazine
- Kurt Cobain had a big penis. The Blemish
- Ashley Olsen and Justin Timberlake deny dating . Green Celebrity
- Amanda Seyfried and Ryan Phillippe broke up again. Beauty and the Dirt
- The Bachelorette Spoilers! Ashley Hebert’s final four men are revealed. Astrochicks
- Alec Baldwin, 52, is dating a 28 year old yoga instructor. Fit Celeb
- Scarlett Johansson and Sean Penn broke up. Socialite Life
Paris Hilton Pissed at Barbara Walters — Was Babs Too Tough on Her?
Rumor has it that Paris Hilton was furious with her interview on The View because of Barbara Walters’ interrogation. Believe it or not, I actually side with Paris Hilton. If you watch the interview below, Barbara asked some very judgmental questions. She pointed out that Paris resented her community service and complained that she didn’t want to get out of bed. Barbara said she should have been pleased to help prisoners instead of complaining about her “high heels.” Here’s the thing — Does anyone actually like doing community service? Perhaps I’m a heartless prick, but every time I do something good I complain the entire time. What’s the fun in giving if you can’t kvetch about it? And furthermore, no one really believes that Paris Hilton is a “business woman.” So if you’re going to invite her on your show then you better be nice. You shouldn’t be inviting annoying guests just so you can publicly lambaste them.
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The Real Housewives of NYC — Ramona and Jill Are Certifiable
I never take the time to watch a full episode of The Real Housewives, no matter what the city. Having said that, every time I see a clip I simply cannot look away. I’m not sure what Jill Zarin and Ramona are fighting about in the clip below, but I am sure of one thing — Jill intentionally flipped her hair around during the fight, so as to ensure she looked extra good while screaming. As for Ramona — I wonder if her plight to the bed was choreographed after watching a soap opera. Perhaps it’s an homage to the recently canceled All My Children.
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Frances McDormand Addresses Audience During Play — Unprofessional Actress?
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. If you cannot stay in character when an audience member does something to distract you, then you cannot call yourself an actress. Frances McDormand stopped her play, ‘Good People,’ to directly address an audience member who answered a disruptive phone call. She said, “when you’re done, we’ll resume.” This reminds me of my high school English teacher who was so offended by a student reading a book during his lecture that he actually stopped speaking and sat at his desk in silence for the remainder of the class. Really? You are going to let one douchey guy ruin it for everyone? It’s far more damaging to my Broadway experience for an actor to break character than it is to hear a ringing cell phone. So congratulations — and go back to acting school.