Author: The Dishmaster

THOR Press Conference — Recap and Review

When Chris Hemsworth entered the room for the Thor press conference last weekend, I was quickly told by a fellow journalist to “stop drooling,” at which point I told him not to “blow my cover.” The truth is — I was drooling. Hemsworth is certainly dreamy, and judging by his answers during the conference, he’s also a very nice guy. When asked how it feels to be the new summer hunk, Hemsworth humbly brushed it off, saying that he’s just happy to be a working actor.

Kat Dennings did not disappoint, serving as the comic relief on film and in person. Because she started off quiet, I thought she might have an attitude problem — but my feelings quickly changed when she was asked her first question. Before responding, she commented on the “phallic” shape of the microphone, which created quite the laugh. She also admitted that she thought no one would ask her anything, and she’d therefore have no choice but to “wing” her answers.
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Song of the Day: Jaymay’s ‘Grey or Blue’

Once upon a time, I had a crush on a boy that didn’t like me back. Since I’m so blazing hot, I found it confusing. We must all be humbled now and then, though, and in honor of the very sexy man who didn’t return my affection, I’m posting the enjoyable song below. I’m not even sure that’s what the song is about, but I’m The Dishmaster — and I’ll choose whatever meaning I want. Enjoy!

Jaymay — Grey or Blue

Seth Meyers Kills it at White House Dinner — Trump Didn’t Laugh

Now might be a good time to confess my gigantic crush on Seth Meyers, the head writer for Saturday Night Live. And after watching his performance at the White House Correspondents’ Dinner, my crush has officially become an obsession. My favorite part of the evening was when Meyers took aim at Donald Trump, who deserved it. Instead of taking it in stride, Trump looked noticeably pissed, and didn’t smile once. He later called Seth Meyers a “stutterer” and said he was “inappropriate.” First, how dare Donald Trump say anything negative about my future husband. And second, can’t the guy take a joke? Trump reminds me of a schoolyard bully who picks on everyone until some tiny kid stomps on his toe, and then he marches off crying to his mommy. If you can’t take it Mr. Trump, then don’t dish it out. Watch the very yummy Seth Meyers in action below.

 

Man Accidentally Live-Tweets Osama Bin Laden Raid — Now Wants to Sleep

Unlike the rest of America, Osama Bin Laden’s death has not put me in a celebratory mood. It reminds me of 9/11, and therefore depresses me whether the devil is dead or not. Having said that, I found an article today that made me laugh so hard it’s worthy of sharing. Sohaib Athar is an Abbottabad IT consultant who noticed something was amiss when he saw a helicopter hovering. Without thinking too much into it, he engaged in a series of tweets including:

  • “Helicopter hovering above Abbottabad at 1AM (is a rare event)”
  • “A huge window shaking bang here in Abbottabad Cantt. I hope it’s not the start of something nasty”
  • “The few people online at this time of the night are saying one of the copters was not Pakistani”
  • “People are saying it was not a technical fault and it was shot down. I heard it CIRCLE 3-4 times above, sounded purposeful.”

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Music Spotlight On: Wolf Gang

Max McElligott, also known as “Wolf Gang,” has yet to release his debut album, entitled Suego Faults, but he’s already receiving a fair share of internet buzz.  When my friend pointed me to the song below, I was blown away.  The acoustic version of Back to Back is actually better than the studio version, which my musician tells me is an impressive feat.  If I could give Mr. McElligot any career advice on his way to the top, I’d tell him to quickly change his band name.  He’s impossible to Google, and my attempts were met with a lot of Mozart information.  In the age of online media, it’s important to be easily found.  If you like the song below, I’d encourage you to buy his EP.  You will not be disappointed.

 

Miranda Kerr Posts Breast-Feeding Picture — TMI?

Miranda Kerr croppedCan someone please explain to me what exactly goes through the mind of celebrities when they use twitter? If only there was a forty minute delay on their tweets so that they had more time to think. Miranda Kerr posted a picture of herself breast-feeding, calling it, “just another day at the office.” First, I’d like to remind celebrities that they have a duty to maintain their mystique, and bringing people too far into their private lives is a mistake. Second, I’m not one of those individuals that advocates breast-feeding in public. I find it uncomfortable, and unless there’s some kind of blanket covering a woman’s breast, it’s borderline inappropriate. And no — I’m not afraid of the backlash for saying so. Lastly, is Miranda Kerr some kind of freak of nature that can miraculously get back into shape seconds after giving birth? How is that possible?

The Royal Wedding — Prince William and Prince Harry’s “Bro” Moment

Many women in my high school dreamed of marrying Prince William.  In fact, my mother and I used to discuss how Prince William got all the looks and poor Prince Harry was far behind.  Years later, it turns out Prince Harry caught up, and judging from the clip below, he might be the funnier of the two.  As Kate Middleton walked down the aisle with Prince William’s back turned, Prince Harry snuck a peak and whispered something in his brother’s ear.  It’s unknown what he said, but he certainly had a Cheshire cat grin that made me wonder.  Watch below.

 

Tabloid Gossip — Week-in-Review

  • Jersey Shore outcast, Angelina Pivarnick, is pregnant.  Popeater
  • Newly pregnant Kate Hudson announced her engagement to Muse front man, Matthew Bellamy, on The Today Show. The Frisky
  • Katie Holmes settled her lawsuit with Star Magazine for claiming she had a drug addiction.  Gossiponthis
  • Laguna Beach star, Kristin Cavallari, is engaged to Chicago Bears quarterback, Jay Cutler.  The Slate
  • Richie Sambora dropped out of the Bon Jovi tour to enter rehab.  Pollstar
  • Cher hates Donald Trump.  Limelife
  • Paris Hilton’s boyfriend, Cy Waits, was punched on his way into the courthouse while holding Paris’ hand.  Popbytes
  • Jessica Simpson set a wedding date and is clearly looking hotter after hiring Tracy Anderson to get her in-shape.  OMGmusic
  • Adam Lambert has some very cool hair.  Celebuzz
  • Elton John’s mother shunned her grandson.  Stuff
  • January Jones is pregnant, and she hasn’t revealed the father.  She Knows

Kenneth Branaugh Hated Christian Hemsworth’s ‘Thor’ Muscles

I must confess that nothing disgusts me more on a man than chizzled muscles. While I don’t want to date a Pillsbury Doughboy, I also don’t want a man with bigger boobs than myself, which often happens with body-builders. So when Kenneth Branaugh expressed his objection to Christian Hemsworth’s excessive body-building for Thor, I had no choice but to post it. Read below:

His costume required a very sculpted shape and at one point he just started getting wider. He was like as wide as Los Angeles at one point and had absolutely no neck left. He had to eat like every three minutes. It seemed like every time I turned around someone was bringing him pasta or a basket of chicken. We ended up getting him back to being a lean, mean fighting machine, and so he was ultimately not too big. He was Thor the God and not Thor the bodybuilder.

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Casey Abrams Kicked Off American Idol — The Judges Suck

Here’s what I don’t understand about this season’s deplorable American Idol. Do the judges have a plan? Did they just pick some decent singers, put them on stage and decide that everyone’s equal, and it doesn’t matter who gets voted off? That’s certainly my hypothesis, given their lack of negative criticism. I actually thought Casey Abrams would take the Idol crown, until I realized that the judges have done nothing to direct the audience. That means the strongest singers have been voted off, and many of the weaker singers, with absolutely zero personality, are staying. Do the judges seriously think that every singer remaining can have a successful career outside of this talent show? Apparently so, since they arbitrarily compliment everyone. I’d like to take a moment to remind the judges that the competition is not just about singing ability — it’s about looks, personality, and charisma. Until they gain a better understanding of this, it’s basically a crapshoot, and the more talented kids like Casey Abrams, Pia Toscano, and Paul McDonald will get pushed aside. It’s unfortunate and frustrating. I cannot wait for X-Factor. I yearn for Simon Cowell’s return.