There’s been a lot of talk in the media about Conan’s ratings dip on night two, and I’d just like to send a collective “suck it” to all the Negative Nancys out there. It’s obvious that he’d have huge ratings his first night out. People initially tune in because of the insane press coverage for the first show, and then Conan’s regular audience sticks around thereafter. In this case, his regular audience was about 30% of the initial viewing audience, which is pretty good. Sure he came in third against Leno and Letterman, but keep in mind that Leno and Letterman are network shows, and the fact that Conan can even come close to those ratings is pretty pathetic for the Network big-wigs. Cable has less eyeballs, and even with less eyeballs, Conan is a contender. That’s pretty damn good.
Category: General
Dear Katy Perry — You Should Only Wear Latex Dresses
Branding is extremely important for a musician. When you explode on the music scene, the first question is, “who is this person and what can I expect from them?” Oops — that was two questions — forgive me. For a pop singer, the answer to those questions is usually, “I’m no one and you can expect nothing from me.” Okay — that was mean. Anyways, Katy Perry has done a good job of staying relevant, and she’s actually really intelligent and sassy. So I’d like to take a moment to give her some free Dishmaster advice. Dear Katy Perry — from now on, you should only wear latex dresses. The squeezed-in look is hot, and it’s better than Lady Gaga’s Schizophrenic style. At the very least — it’s consistent and original. See the pictures below, and let me know if you agree.
Was Uptown Girl About Elle Macpherson? — Here’s The Truth
There’s been a lot of hoopla in the press about Billy Joel’s song, Uptown Girl, because the author of a new book revealed that the song was originally written for Elle Macpherson and not Christie Brinkley. Here’s what I know about this. In the interview below, Joel admitted that it was originally about Macpherson, so this isn’t really an insane revelation. But there’s a catch. Because I’ve spent my entire life watching celebrity interviews, I distinctly remember a Christie Brinkley interview during her marriage to Joel, where Brinkley said that Joel wrote Uptown Girl for her. That information means one of two things. Either Joel lied to Brinkley about who he wrote the song for, or Joel lied in the interview below, which was taped four years after Christie Brinkley left him (perhaps he was still pissed and wanted to stick it to her?). I’m not sure. But I tend to dismiss most of what Billy Joel says in interviews, because he comes off as disinterested and guarded. I wouldn’t be surprised if he has no idea who he wrote the song for and answers the question differently every time.
Legendary Joel Grey Visits Jennifer Grey on DWTS — I’m Verklempt
Jennifer Grey got a visit from a very famous guy on tonight’s Dancing With the Stars — her father. Joel Grey is most known as the original Master of Ceremonies in Cabaret. Grey has won an Oscar, a Tony, and a Golden Globe for Cabaret, and he’s considered a Broadway legend. Watch his appearance below, and click the link to see him perform a scene from Caberet.
jennifera 5 @ Yahoo! Video
Can the Ladies of ‘The View’ Stop Discussing Abortion?
I don’t know a lot of stuff. But what I do know is that we will never agree on abortion. I realize that pro-lifers think they can change minds by showing people pictures of fetuses, but I don’t think that works any better than members of PETA showing people videos of chickens being tortured. You’re either pro-life or pro-choice, and that is that. I often wonder if they bring up the topic just to test Elizabeth Hasselbeck’s ability to keep her head from exploding. I’m sick of hearing the topic debated. Has anyone ever witnessed someone discuss the topic and change their mind in the middle? I’ve posted an old clip below — but trust me — it’s one of about five thousand discussions on The View about the issue.
Chris Rock Tells Howard Stern How to Improve His Show
Every time I get frustrated with Howard Stern’s radio show I imagine myself having a personal conversation with Stern and telling him everything he needs to improve. But I don’t have to — because Chris Rock does my dirty work. Rock Called Stern’s show today and told Stern that his show “needs some improvements.” Stern was quiet, presumably because he doesn’t take criticism well. Rock wasn’t intimidated and said that if he’s going to take Friday’s off he should still have an original show on the air. He also told him that the “unannounced Mondays have to fucking stop.” Rock is referring to Stern’s incessant vacations, which Stern never announces. It’s infuritating because you get into the car to go to work on a Monday morning, turn on your radio in anticipation of a new Howard Stern show, and you get dated, repeated crap instead. When Stern said he would stay on the air if he could work less hours, Rock said, “you barely work now.” Stern told Rock that Oprah does less hours than him and gets away with it, and Rock said that it’s a ridiculous comparison. Way to go, Chris!
Kim Kardashian Launches Kids Credit Card — I Approve!
Kim Kardashian is launching a credit card for teens, which gives them a small amount of credit so they learn to spend responsibly. This might be the best celebrity business decision in history. If there’s anything I know about my useless teenage education, it’s that those worthless teachers left the most important lesson out of their lectures — DON’T FUCK UP YOUR CREDIT! My adult life has never involved a fraction, but it’s certainly involved buying a car. I’m officially going to stop picking on Kim Kardashian. Not only because she launched a credit card instead of a dumb fragrance, but also because I’ve recently been tipped off by a reliable source that she’s a very kind person. So there you have it. Congratulations, Kim.
Movie Review — Due Date
This movie was a breath of fresh air, which is a strange statement because Robert Downey, Jr. spent most of the film feeling suffocated by Zach Galifianakis’. It was light-hearted and funny with just the right amount of gross-out humor. Galifianakis and Downey drive across the country together after they end up on a no-fly list. Under no other circumstances would these two men hang out, which is why the film is so great. Downey is a tightly wound guy who is a bit of prick, and Galifianakis is a sweetheart who likes everyone but is liked by no one. I don’t think this movie could have survived without these two actors, and it’s worth seeing just for their performance. Plus, have I mentioned I’m in love with Robert Downey?
Movie Review — Fair Game
No movie should be made based on true events if those events took place less than fifteen years ago. Having said that, I think you can guess how I felt about Fair Game. The film is based on the CIA leak of Valerie Plame, and I can’t say I know any more information about the story after watching the film than I did before I watched it. Now for my next movie rule — Don’t show clips of real-life people during a movie. If Naomi Watts is playing Valerie Plame, then there should be another actor playing George Bush. But playing clips of Bush in a movie makes me think I should just stay home and watch C-Span instead. The entire movie felt like a boring documentary. Sure Sean Penn is great, but his acting chops alone don’t warrant the insane movie ticket price I paid.
Keith Olbermann Suspended — He’s a Democrat — Who Knew?
Keith Olbermann was suspended for making political donations to the democratic party, and many consider it laughable that anyone doubted Olbermann’s democratic standing. I have mixed feelings about this. First, it would be nice to assume that talking heads form their opinions on an issue-by-issue basis, instead of blindly supporting their party. But as Jon Stewart pointed out in his infamous Crossfire interview, that assumption is incorrect. The truth is that talking heads support their party, and they will champion any issue based on their party line. Apparently, MSNBC would like to present Mr. Olbermann as non-partisan, as a way to uphold their brand. I obviously think Olbermann does a better job of hiding any bias than someone like Bill O’Reilly or the certifiable Glenn Beck. But with or without the donation — it’s clear where he stands. That being said, there were still people out there that doubted Clay Aiken’s sexual orientation up until the day he came out of the closet. Translation? — Without Olbermann’s donation, perhaps some people still thought he was “straight” — or Republican. Forgive me — I’m terrible with analogies.