The Dishmaster

Movie Review: Unknown

When Dr. Martin Harris (Liam Neeson) wakes up from a coma after his taxi driver spins off a bridge, he’s certain his wife is frantic, and he immediately leaves the hospital to find her. When he arrives at his hotel to find his wife, she doesn’t recognize him, and she’s with another man named Dr. Martin Harris. He’s convinced she’s being held against her will and forced to lie. He spends the rest of the movie trying to prove his identity and subsequently rescue his wife. So was his identity stolen, and did his wife play a part? You’ll have to watch the movie to find out. There’s certainly endless holes in the plot, but I can be a very forgiving viewer, especially when I’m on the edge of my seat for an entire movie. There is one part of the story that deserves a special mention, though. Diane Kruger plays the taxi driver, and it’s fantastic to see a female character that doesn’t stand on the top of mountain waiting for a man to rescue her. She kicked some serious ass. OVERALL RATING: SADISHFIED.

Celebrity Look Alikes: Colin Egglesfield and Tom Cruise

I just saw the trailer for Kate Hudson and Ginnifer Goodwin’s new film, Something Borrowed, and the leading man looks so much like Tom Cruise I actually found it distracting. I realize I’m terrible with the look alike game, but watch below and tell me if you agree.

Cheryl Burke Upset With Paparazzi for Publicizing Her Weight Gain

Call me a heartless prick, but I love to see pictures of celebrities when they gain weight. It’s not because I enjoy the misery of others, it’s just that I’d like to believe that celebrities are sans cellulite because they have the time to spend the entire day doing squats. So when pictures emerged of Cheryl Burke in a bikini looking larger than she did on Dancing With The Stars, I found it comforting. I thought, “wow, Cheryl is a real human being that puts on weight during her breaks from the show. Maybe now I won’t feel so bad about my gigantic ass.” Unfortunately, Cheryl didn’t see it that way. Instead, she’s said that those pictures forced her to go on an extreme diet and the paparazzi basically ruined her life. So here’s my advice to Cheryl Burke: either get out of the kitchen or develop thicker skin (no pun intended). Sensitive people don’t belong in this business — it’s way too cutthroat.

Rosie O’Donnell Isn’t Happy With Glee’s Fat-Girl Character

Rosie O’Donnell bashed this week’s episode of Glee, and rightfully so. One of her main contentions is with Lauren Zizes, calling her “unlikable,” and questioning whether she can actually sing. I completely agree with Rosie, and since she seems to have a larger following than The Dishmaster, I’m hoping that Ryan Murphy listens up. Lauren’s has become almost cartoonish at this point. First, why would Puck be interested in her? Judging from her current portrayal, she has no redeeming qualities. Also, Puck’s been superficial all along, and there’s no explanation for his about-face, except that he’s gone completely crazy. There’s so many other overweight girls with big voices that would have been better picks for that part.

The View Ladies Ask Denise Richards Inappropriate Questions About Charlie Sheen

I have to give Denise Richards a lot of credit. She sure knows how to stay classy amidst Charlie Sheen’s recent troubles. If I remember correctly, Denise Richards fired her last publicist after she mishandled the media fire-storm surrounding Denise’s relationship with Heather Locklear’s ex-husband, Richie Sambora. Since then, she’s done a complete turn-around in the press, even appearing on Howard Stern to clear the air. She proved on The View today that she can certainly handle an interrogation. The ladies wanted her to discuss Sheen, and she refused. Every answer she gave was creatively evasive, and at one point she even said, “there’s plenty of books out there for children going through the same thing.” When they asked her to recommend a book, she refused, obviously because any title would disclose precisely what she was trying to avoid discussing. In response to Barbara Walters’ question about “what she says to her children, Denise simply said, “what do you say?” Good job, Denise. It was four-on-one, and you took those yentas down!

Adele Sings ‘Someone Like You’ at the 2011 Brit Awards

Adele’s new album drops in two days, and from what I’ve heard so far, it will be better than her first. She sang ‘Someone Like You’ at the Brit Awards this year, and the performance was incredible. Watch below.

Britney Spears ‘Hold it Against Me’ Video Premieres — And Delivers

All of my loyal Dishmaster readers know about my Britney Spears obsession. I rooted for her when she was down-and-out, and I’m happy to see that her comeback is in full swing. Her new music video premiered on MTV tonight, and I think it ties Toxic for best Britney video of all time. It was choreographed by Brian Friedman, who used to judge and choreograph for Fox’s So You Think You Can Dance. It’s good to see Britney rocking out some dance moves again. I’m glad I have a new video to imitate — that snake was getting mighty heavy. Watch!

Britney Spears – New Music – More Music Videos

Why High-Powered Men Cheat on Their Wives — Using Craigslist

By Guest Blogger: Josh Pey

Because so many high powered politicians get in trouble for cheating on their wives, I’ve asked my good friend to explain the phenomena to me. I’d do it myself, but that would mean I’d have to think like a man — and I hear that if you shut your brain down for too long it could cause permanent damage. That’s a joke, guys. I know you use your brain — some of the time. Anyways, Josh wrote a very funny (or insulting) guest post explaining the infidelity, with particular emphasis on Republican Congressman Christopher Lee’s recent resignation for sending naked pictures to his mistress on Craigslist. Enjoy!

Powerful men don’t get that way by accident. They are driven individuals. You have to sacrifice a lot of time, fun and other opportunities to become an NFL QB or a U.S. Congressman. What does that mean for relationships and random play and what does it say about the character of many of the men in these positions?

1. They’re egomaniacs. Not all of them, but the ones who get in trouble, for the most part, are. Huge egos need massaging and satisfying. That kind of satisfying. In the words of Dave Chappelle, if a man could fuck a woman in a cardboard box, he wouldn’t buy a house. Well, these guys know that and they have accordingly built really nice houses to go with their really big egos.

2. They don’t have a lot of time for dating and drama. They’ve been busy since they were kids and haven’t had the time to spend on girl problems. When they get successful and that becomes an advantage instead of a handicap when they’re trying to get laid, they naturally capitalize on it.

3. They feel entitled to it. They worked hard to get to where they are and its time for them to screw some of the hot pieces of ass they’ve seen other guys with. For as long as they can. This ride can’t last forever, can it?

4. It’s right there. Chicks (very hot chicks) like to sleep with these guys. SEE: Tom Brady

5. Women are hypocrites. Most women pretend this conduct is disgusting, but ask them if they have a guy, or guys, they are fascinated with and most either admit it or blush and walk away. They hate it until they have the opportunity. We know this.

That’s all I’ve got. If you’ll excuse me, I am going to go back to eating a roast beef sub and watching NCAA Women’s Gymnastics. Who says female sports are boring?

Rolling Stone Misquotes Justin Bieber — Reveals They Like to Pick on Little Children

Rolling Stone was forced to release Justin Bieber’s original quote from his recent interview, after much public outrage and pressure from the Bieber camp. The fiasco started when Rolling Stone asked Justin Bieber about his stance on abortion. Here’s the quote with the omitted item in bold: “Um. Well, I think that’s really sad, but everything happens for a reason. I don’t know how that would be a reason. I guess I haven’t been in that position, so I wouldn’t be able to judge that.” First of all, I don’t even think Justin Bieber knows his stance on abortion. Isn’t he ten years old? Second, I think it’s completely ridiculous to ask this question at all. Clearly they wanted media attention, and they knew that asking one of the most popular kids in America about abortion would cause the controversy necessary to get Rolling Stone some much-needed press. And lastly, the omitted part of the quote is incredibly damaging to the magazine, as it completely changes the connotation of what he said. I’ve seen shady “journalism,” but this is completely disgusting.