When The Bachelorette’s Ashley Hebert reduced her romantic prospects down to a select few, I thought, “ABC is screwed on their next Bachelor. Everyone Ashley likes is boring and unattractive.” The network often picks a reject from the previous season to kick off the new season, because the viewers are already familiar with the star, which increases the likelihood of immediate ratings. But what do you do when the reject lacks the star power necessary to carry the series? In ABC’s case the answer is — cast him anyways. And they’ve paid the price with bad ratings. They should have cast someone entirely new, but I’m sure the powers-that-be felt it was too risky, considering their decision to cast the newbie Matt Grant led to its worst ratings of all time. It was a lose-lose. Perhaps Ashley Hubert should apologize to ABC for her taste in men.
Tag: ABC
Barbara Walters Discusses the ’10 Most Fascinating People’ — ‘The View’ Ladies Disagree
If you read The Dishmaster regularly, then you know my two biggest idols are Howard Stern and Barbara Walters. In the clip below, you’ll understand my love for Walters, who unveiled her ’10 Most Fascinating People’ on ‘The View’, which resulted in a backlash from her fellow co-hosts. My favorite line of the clip comes from Walters, when she says, “Why do I do this show, I could have a happy life on ABC News.” Watch below.
J.R. Martinez & Karina Smirnoff — Best Freestyle — DWTS!
J.R. Martinez and Karina Smirnoff won last night’s Dancing With the Stars freestyle round by a landslide. Though I love Derek Hough and Cheryl Burke, they barely compared. Burke’s freestyle was far too contained, and Hough’s lacked the originality and fun that he’s known for. Plus, Karina has never won the competition, and this is her year. Did I mention that she has one of the best bodies I’ve ever seen in my life? First I’ll buy that tiny little outfit as motivation, and then I’ll start ballroom dancing. Watch below.
Maksim Chmerkovskiy Delivers Toys to Los Angeles Children’s Hospital
Maksim Chmerkovskiy has recieved a significant amount of heat in the press lately for his Dancing With the Stars behavior, so I thought it only fair to report on his positive actions. He visited the Los Angeles Children’s Hospital to deliver toys and books to the children involved in dance therapy. I’m told he also danced with the patients in the Mark Taper-Johnny Mercer Artists Program, which is dedicated to bringing art to critically and chronically ill children, teens, and families. The donated toys were collected by Cost Plus World Market, as a part of the Share the Joy program. As an aside, would it be wrong to point out how hot Maksim looks in the pictures below? Inappropriate?
*Photos Courtesy of Wire Image
Maksim & Hope Skip DWTS Post-Show Interviews — Did ABC Ban Them?
Maksim Chmerkovskiy and Hope Solo skipped their Dancing With the Stars post elimination tour, and I have a feeling ABC had something to do with it. Though there’s speculation that Solo and Chmerkovskiy are “sore losers” for their absence on Jimmy Kimmel and Good Morning America, it’s likely that these post-elimination appearances were built into their contract, which means they are either in breach, or ABC decided that their sour attitude would make for bad publicity. The latter makes more sense. It’s also startling that Chmerkovskiy feels so comfortable soiling his status with ABC, especially considering his per-episode payday. Given the headache he’s caused the show, I would not be surprised if he wasn’t picked-up for next season. Here’s hoping he’s saved his money.
Barbara Walters Questions Justin Bieber’s Virginity
Elizabeth Hasselbeck Attacks Bill Maher — Wildly Inappropriate
It’s time for Elizabeth Hasselbeck to leave the television business. She hogged Bill Maher’s entire segment on The View to address a joke he once made about her, insisting that “she knows funny” and “that wasn’t funny.” The joke in question involved journalist Lara Logan who was captured while covering Hosni Mubarak’s resignation in Egypt. At the time, Maher said that they should trade Hasselbeck for Logan. When she asked if Maher would say that joke again knowing what he knows now, Maher said, “if I knew I’d have to dedicate my entire segment to discussing it, then no.” Their fight reminded me of a bad relationship argument, where the man apologizes for “hurting” the woman, who then insists that she’s incapable of being hurt as some ploy to feign strength. I have to congratulate Bill Maher for being an extremely kind gentlemen to Hasselbeck. Personally, I would have told her to piss-off and stop chirping in my face. She should have just admitted that she can’t get over the boy who pushed her on the playground. Might I also point out that this isn’t the first time Hasselbeck has taken a comedian to task that’s insulted her. Remember when she awkwardly confronted Kathy Griffin? Did she not learn her lesson? I also have a message to The View’s producers. If you invite a guest on your show, then instruct your whiny host to keep her mouth shut. You don’t invite a guest to your party only to set them on fire.
‘The View’ Discusses Joe Paterno — Makes No Sense
There’s only one sane person on The View, and that’s Whoopi Goldberg. When discussing the Joe Paterno scandal, Sherri Shepherd indicated that Joe Paterno is not a “bad person,” because he’s not the one who engaged in the child abuse. Um — Did Sherri Shepherd drink the crazy juice today? This was followed up by the even crazier Elisabeth Hasselbeck’s assertion that it’s “unfortunate” that Joe Paterno’s legacy will be about what he didn’t do instead of all the good he’s done. Who are these clowns on The View? I’d write a long statement about what constitutes evil, but it’s unnecessary. I’d rather just bash the ladies of The View. Watch the exchange below, and feel free to fast forward through Elisabeth Hasselbeck’s mundate account of the one thing she remembered from her high school psychology class.
Metallica’s New Album — ‘Lulu’ — Horrific
I may not be a musician, but I know what crap sounds like. And Metallica’s new album is absolutely horrible. They collaborated with singer-songwriter, Lou Reed, and the album, entitled ‘Lulu’, is based on two plays written by the German playwright Frank Wedekind. It’s predictably a critical and commercial failure. The vocals are largely spoken-word, which makes for painful listening. When asked about his fan-backlash, Metallica drummer, Lars Ulrich said, “It’s not for everyone, but I think it’s a fantastic record.” Allow me to take a moment to speak directly to Mr. Ulrich, who needs a serious Dishmaster lecture. If you want to bastardize this medium by producing shit, then do it in the privacy of your own studio and never release it to the masses. But when you expose our ears to what is largely a joke, you disrespect your fans and make a mockery of an industry that is already struggling. It’s time to exit the crazy house and start making good music again. Listen to a clip of the song, ‘The View’, below.
Dancing With the Stars Team Paso Doble — Derek Hough Rescues Hope Solo
I like a feisty man, but after watching Maksim Chmerkovskiy man-handle Hope Solo during the Team Paso Doble practice, I’ve officially changed my ‘Dancing With the Stars’ crush to Derek Hough. When Maksim disturbingly tossed Hope around during what seemed like a temper tantrum, Derek Hough interjected to teach her the step. It’s particularly interesting because Maksim recently attributed Derek’s insane success on the show to his talented partners, saying that if he was given the same partners, he’d be just as good. Perhaps Maksim should watch the video below and then apologize to Derek Hough. It seems like the only person in Maksim’s way is Maksim.
Educational Resource: Maksim is probably wishing that his partners had taken classes from online masters degree programs in performing arts.