Howard Stern – Page 21 – The Dishmaster

Denise Richards Tells Howard Stern She’s “In a Good Place” With Charlie Sheen

Denise Richards appeared on Howard Stern just in time for him to ask about Charlie Sheen’s recent hospitalization and alleged cocaine use. Unfortunately, the news broke about two minutes before Richards arrived, and I’m not sure if Stern got word in time for the interview. Translation? — He didn’t ask. However, he did ask why they were in New York together with the kids, and Richards said she took their daughters on their first trip to The Big Apple, and Sheen wanted to join. She also revealed that she told Sheen he should “remain single forever,” but she sees him ignoring her advice and getting married again. Another very funny admission is that her lawyers suggested counseling with Sheen prior to divorcing, and the therapist dropped them as a couple because “there was nothing she could do for them.” She also confessed that she’s going to ask a therapist how to have a sit-down discussion with her daughters when their old enough to understand her “interesting life.” I actually hated Denise Richards before she started to appear on Howard Stern. Who would have thought that Howard Stern could clean up your image?

UPDATE: Charlie Sheen is officially headed back to rehab. If only that interview happened a few hours later.

Howard Stern Interviews Billy Joel — Ask For His Favorite Song

Billy Joel appeared on Howard Stern’s show today to promote his new documentary, The Last Play at Shea. The documentary chronicles his 2008 performance at Shea Stadium, just before it closed down. Stern went easy on Joel and stuck mostly to music questions. That’s likely because Stern and Joel are good friends, and Stern therefore felt uncomfortable asking about the breakdown of his marriages. I know this because I avidly listen to Stern, who is pretty consistent in badgering his guests about their personal lives (which is usually my favorite part of his interviews). Though I was disappointed that those questions weren’t asked, I did enjoy the part where Stern asked Joel for his favorite song. Joel picked quite a few, and I’ve posted one below — it’s Summer Highland Falls. Summer, Highland Falls by bradenbost

Russell Brand Won’t Get Pre-Nup — Hollywood Divorces Taught Him Nothing

Russell Brand revealed that he won’t be getting a pre-nuptial agreement for his upcoming marriage to Katy Perry, because he’s “trying to preserve and make it a beautiful thing.” Call me a cynic but just about everything is beautiful until things go sour, and half your fortune is gone. Perhaps Brand can learn a thing or two from Hollywood marriages gone wrong. My favorite fortune-squandering story involves Sam Simon, one of the three original creators of The Simpsons. Simon was married to Jennifer Tilly for seven years, and they officially divorced just two years after The Simpsons aired, which means that Tilly gets half of Sam Simon’s royalties for the rest of her life. When asked by Howard Stern whether it drives him nuts that she gets half, Simon simply said, “it is what it is, and there is nothing I can do about it.” Simon is less guilty than Russell Brand though, who already has his fortune going into his marriage with Katy Perry. Translation? Brand should know better.

Jerry O’Connell Questions David Arquette’s Howard Stern Interview — He Would Know

If anyone knows what it’s like to put their foot in their mouth during a Howard Stern interview, it’s Jerry O’Connell. O’Connell said that Arquette’s Stern interview was a “bad idea,” which is likely because O’Connell always reveals too much about his relationship with Rebecca Romijn while he appears on Stern. He once said that Rebecca actually punched him in the face for lying to her about playing golf. Romijn was so upset about his disclosure that O’Connell took a brief Howard Stern hiatus, saying the show “gets him in too much trouble.” In fact, if you hear his interviews on Stern, you would think that Rebecca Romijn was the most annoying wife in history. Stern takes a particular interest in the O’Connell/Romijn relationship because Stern is close friends with John Stamos, who often told Stern how horrible it was to be married to Rebecca. Too confusing?

David Arquette Tells Howard Stern Why He and Courtney Cox Separated (Audio)

David Arquette called into Howard Stern today for an exclusive interview about why he separated from Courtney Cox. It was an honest and candid interview, which is surprising because most celebrities usually just say, “we grew apart.” Arquette said that things began to unravel while they filmed Scream 4. Courtney bought David Arquette a motorcycle for their anniversary and told him that she “doesn’t want to be his mother anymore,” which basically meant that she was tired of nagging him about being more mature. David interpreted that as a license to party, and it didn’t help their marriage. Stern asked Arquette if he thought she had an affair with her Cougar Town co-star, Brian Van Holt, and Arquette said that, if anything, it was an “emotional affair,” because Van Holt is more verbal than Arquette, and Cox wanted someone she could have “deep conversations” with. He also admitted to having slept with Jasmine Waltz “once or maybe twice,” and implied that Waltz tipped off the tabloids about having slept with him. He insisted that he was already separated when he slept with her, and that it was Courtney’s idea to sleep with other people. Stern suggested that Courtney allowed that because she wanted to sleep with Van Holt, and Arquette shrugged it off. Arquette admitted that he constantly calls Courtney asking her to get back together, but he ultimately wants her to find someone to make her happy, and if he’s not that person, then so be it. And there you have it. I love David Arquette, and after hearing the interview, I’m sad for him. Click the link below to hear a portion of it.

David Arquette Interview With Stern

Katherine Heigl Addresses her “Image Problems” — Handles it Well

Katherine Heigl addressed her image problems head-on, while promoting her new film. Though I’ve picked on Heigl for “biting the hand that feeds her,” I think her response shows that she’s on the right track. The truth is that most of what she said in the press was correct. It all started with Grey’s Anatomy, when Isaiah Washington called T.R. Knight a faggot on set, and the creators brushed it aside, leaving Knight to handle the media bedlam on his own. Heigl bashed both the show and Washington, in defense of her best friend. She scored major points with me for doing so, and then quickly squandered my support when she publicly discussed her contract negotiation with Grey’s Anatomy, saying that she called it off because “she wasn’t getting the respect she deserved.” Everyone knows that you don’t publicly discuss your contract — it’s unprofessional. To make matters worse, she took herself out of the Emmys, because she didn’t feel that the writing was good enough to warrant an award. Again, it’s not the best idea to insult your writers, especially since writer fatigue is common on a long-running show, and an actor can’t expect great material for five seasons straight. She also called Knocked-Up ” sexist,” which didn’t sit well with Seth Rogen and Judd Apatow, who later bashed her on Howard Stern. Personally, I thought the movie was sexist, but it’s not exactly a press-friendly statement. So here’s the moral of the Katherine Heigl story — sometimes she’s right and sometimes she’s not. If the girl could just reign it in a little, instead of becoming a robot that churns out the stereotypical answers in interviews (which I predict we will start to see), she’ll be just fine. Watch her discuss the issue below.

Dear Howard Stern — Fire Your Programmer

It’s bad enough that Howard Stern spends his entire life on vacation. It’s even worse that while he is on vacation, he chooses to play “Howard Stern’s Worst Shows Ever,” for the entire week. Yesterday he played the “Peacock Years,” which is basically his shitty radio show during his NBC years. Even Stern himself has admitted that his early shows were terrible, so you would think he would play more recent shows while he’s on vacation. The man is the King of all celebrity interviews, yet he never airs “the greatest Howard Stern interviews of all-time.” Instead, I’m forced to listen to these torturous shows. His voice isn’t even the same. He used to alter it, and it sounds unbearably nasally. To make matters worse, when I switch to his other channel, I’m forced to listen to the other shitty radio hosts that were hand-picked by Stern. Translation? — I’m screwed. Either give your other channel to a decent radio host (like Adam Carolla) or give me another option for your show.

It’s Official: Lisa Rinna Fixed Her Upper Lip

Though I picked on Lisa Rinna in the previous post, I actually like Lisa Rinna. Unlike many Hollywood celebrities, she owns her flaws, and has a good sense of humor about herself. I know this because she often appears on Howard Stern, and when Stern makes fun of her she laughs it off in stride. During her last appearance, he inquired about the status of her upper lip, and she said she has been trying to fix it for years. Apparently, Rinna injected silicone into her lip before modern medicine came up with a better solution, and she has been unable to fix it ever since. On her new reality show, Harry Loves Lisa, she was taped at the doctor’s office, where she tried to reverse the effects. Judging from the picture to the right, it worked. Congratulations to Lisa Rinna for no longer having butt cheeks on her face. Alright, that was mean. I like her — I swear I do.

Eight Best Celebrities to Have Coffee With

When I first launched this blog, a very close friend of mine accused me of secretly hoping it would take off and make me millions. When I insisted that was not in fact my motivation, he scoffed sarcastically, and we haven’t spoken since. I stewed about it for days, wondering what my real blogging fantasy actually was. After much self-reflection and many thoughts about how to kill my friend, I discovered my real motivation — coffee with celebrities, of course! There are many people I admire, and would love to have a sit-down conversation with. The people below are at the top of the list. Enjoy!

BILL CLINTON — I have already had the honor of meeting President Clinton, but I’d like another shot. When we met, he politely tried to engage me in conversation, and I froze like a fish stick in my freezer. At the end of my excessive nodding and smiling, President Clinton said, “it was very nice meeting you,” and I replied, “me too.” That doesn’t even make sense! Perhaps with coffee in hand it might go better next time around. I sure do have a lot of questions.

PAUL McCARTNEY — McCartney has always been my favorite Beatle. He never tires of discussing The Beatles, and his live shows are still just as great as they always were. Even though he’s already been asked every great question under the sun, I’d like to think I have some new ones. Plus, I’d like to hang out with the guy.

BRIAN WILSON — I’ve seen Brian Wilson around Los Angeles, and I always wanted to walk right up to him to tell him how much I liked his album, Smile, and then ask, “don’t you want to strangle Mike Love?” I haven’t had the guts as of yet. Plus, I might ask to go into a recording studio with him — just to watch a genius at work.

DAVID LETTERMAN — He’s always been my favorite late night host, and with every page I read from The Late Shift, I find myself loving him even more. I’d have coffee with Letterman under the condition that he answer all my hard-hitting questions about Jay Leno. He’s made his dislike very clear, but he’s never answered detailed questions about what went down when Carson left. I would promise not to ask about his affairs though, because that’s nowhere near as interesting as the late night feud. Actually, this is my fantasy, so I can just ask about both. We’ll have to order a lot of coffee.

HOWARD STERN — Howard Stern and I are kindred spirits. He grew up with a domineering Jewish mother from Long Island, New York, and he is excessively neurotic. His greatest strength is interviewing, but he has yet to answer the hard-hitting questions that he asks his guests daily. He’s never really discussed the breakdown of his marriage, despite him discussing just about everything else on “The History of Howard Stern.” When he initially divorced, his ratings suffered, yet he’s never brought it up in the context of the show. I am confident I could get it out of him. If you don’t like Howard Stern, I would encourage you to listen to his show. Whenever I hear someone bash him, it’s clear they are regurgitating media crud, instead of actually giving an informed opinion. He’s fantastic.

JUDD HIRSCH — Judd is one of my all-time favorite actors. His most notable role is on Taxi, which I grew up watching on Nick at Nite. I fantasized about being a Taxi driver, and when I told my father, he wasn’t pleased. I also saw Judd Hirsch in Art, where he was just as good as his Taxi days. I thought of the many actors I could have picked for this post, and I just can’t think of anyone more interesting then Judd Hirsch.

BARBARA WALTERS — There’s no one else that I wanted to emulate more than Barbara Walters. I wanted to do interviews, and she’s the master. She once interviewed Angelina Jolie after her Billy Bob Thornton divorce, and when Walters asked Angelina what went wrong, Angelina said that “there are two people involved, and there are things I can’t say out of respect for the other person.” Barbara didn’t miss a beat, and said, “tell me what you can say.” Angelina then unloaded. No other interviewer could have been so crafty. In my fantasy, it’s me doing the interviewing, and Babs is the one crying. She’ll then give me all her interviewing secrets, and ABC will hire me to do their Oscar specials since the slot is now open.

LORNE MICHAELS — Lorne Michaels is the Tony Soprano of comedy. All comedians dream of appearing on Saturday Night Live, and the decision starts and ends with Lorne Michaels. He’s been known to randomly fire people, presumably because he no longer thinks they’re funny. The guy even fired Adam Sandler from the show, with no explanation. Lorne is also the guy that suggested Conan O’Brien to take over for David Letterman, after Letterman left for CBS. He can clearly spot talent. So why does he make my list? Because I want to gossip with him about every single person that appeared on Saturday Night Live. What’s the dirt, Lorne?

That’s it for now. I’m sure I’ll update this list as time passes. If any reader out there knows any of these people, and would like to forward this along, be my guest. I’ll buy you a coffee for the hookup.

Robin Quivers Should Date Garry Shandling

We all know that my celebrity look-alike posts need some serious work. But what about my celebrity match-making skills? Well, here goes nothing. Garry Shandling appeared on Howard Stern today to promote the Iron Man 2 DVD, and I noticed an interesting romantic connection between Shandling and Stern’s leading lady, Robin Quivers. Shandling often tried to engage Quivers during the interview, and Stern predictably squashed the side-conversation, because he likes to dominate his interviews. Shandling confessed that he’s never been married, but isn’t opposed to the idea. Since Stern has been discussing a Bachelorette-style dating show for Quivers, perhaps Shandling will make the list.