Tag: Jessica Simpson

Tabloid Gossip — Week-in-Review

  • Jersey Shore outcast, Angelina Pivarnick, is pregnant.  Popeater
  • Newly pregnant Kate Hudson announced her engagement to Muse front man, Matthew Bellamy, on The Today Show. The Frisky
  • Katie Holmes settled her lawsuit with Star Magazine for claiming she had a drug addiction.  Gossiponthis
  • Laguna Beach star, Kristin Cavallari, is engaged to Chicago Bears quarterback, Jay Cutler.  The Slate
  • Richie Sambora dropped out of the Bon Jovi tour to enter rehab.  Pollstar
  • Cher hates Donald Trump.  Limelife
  • Paris Hilton’s boyfriend, Cy Waits, was punched on his way into the courthouse while holding Paris’ hand.  Popbytes
  • Jessica Simpson set a wedding date and is clearly looking hotter after hiring Tracy Anderson to get her in-shape.  OMGmusic
  • Adam Lambert has some very cool hair.  Celebuzz
  • Elton John’s mother shunned her grandson.  Stuff
  • January Jones is pregnant, and she hasn’t revealed the father.  She Knows

Jessica Simpson on Simon Cowell’s X-Factor? I Vote Yes!

There’s something very sad about this season’s American Idol — and I’m not referring to the loss of Simon Cowell (though that pains me as well).  It’s the loss of Paula Abdul.  There needs to be a beautiful, somewhat ditzy woman on the panel, who makes you tune in to see what crazy things she’ll say.  Since re-casting Paula Abdul would likely damage the new brand that X-Factor is trying to present, it only makes sense to cast someone similar.  Jessica Simpson is perfect!  Like Paula, Jessica Simpson has had a huge career, most notably with her fashion empire.  And also like Paula, Jessica has trouble expressing her point, and often comes off ridiculous in interviews.  She’s certainly more together than the often slurring Abdul, but I predict that Simpson’s interplay with Simon Cowell would be television magic.  Plus, I have a special attraction to woman with gigantic boobs and I’d like to see her outfits every week.  After all, I’m a Kinsey 2.

Jessica Simpson’s New York Magazine Cover — Home Run

There are many shocking revelations in Jessica Simpson’s interview for New York Magazine.  Though many might be shocked to learn that she’s a “fashion mogul,” with a company that will likely generally$1 billion in a single year, I’m mostly surprised by the cover.  I often pick on Jessica Simpson for her image issues, so it’s only fair to give her credit when it’s deserved.  She hit it out of the park with this cover.  No gratuitous sexy face — just art.  Good job, Jessica.

Christina Hendricks Posed For Playboy — She Wasn’t Naked — No Scandal

There’s a lot of buzz on the internet about Mad Men’s Christina Hendricks’ “Playboy past.”  Can I just say that unless she’s naked, there’s no scandal.  She’s in a bikini in a highly air-brushed and artistic photo-shoot, which is less revealing than if she was photographed by Paparazzi on the beach.  I’d also like to say that, despite the viewpoint of my highly conservative friends, Playboy is not a scandalous magazine.  There’s no longer a need to hide it under your couch cushions, and it’s certainly okay to take it to Starbucks and read it for the articles.  Isn’t it?  Perhaps that’s why I get such strange looks while I’m drinking my coffee.  To see the “scandalous” pictures, click the link below.

CHRISTINA HENDRICKS — PLAYBOY — THE SMOKING JACKET

Adam Levine Poses Naked — Proves He’s In Love With Himself

There’s only two singers I’ve stopped listening to solely because of their terrible personalities. If you read my blog, you could easily guess that the lucky singers are Adam Levine and John Mayer. I stopped listening to John Mayer when he began to act ridiculous in interviews, and the Jessica Simpson debacle officially put the fork in him. I banned Adam Levine for just about the same reason. I’m aware that he’s only one member of an entire band, but he’s annoying enough for me to cut off Maroon 5 as a whole. He’s in love with himself, and his new naked ad is no exception. I’ve pulled a quote for your enjoyment. Levine said, “I spend most of my life naked. In fact, I often have to be told by the people around me that it’s inappropriate to be as naked as I am. But I live in California, where it’s always warm, so why not?” First of all Adam, I also live in California, and I can assure you that I wore a very heavy jacket today because it’s too cold for nudity. Second, aren’t you secretly a dorky Jewish guy that couldn’t get laid for most of your teenage life? I don’t know for sure — but I’m guessing.  Maybe I just get angry when the Jewish guys date blond chicks — because you know — us Jewish brunettes are more attractive.

Tabloid Weekly Roundup

  • Shania Twain is engaged to the ex-husband of the woman who her husband cheated on Shania with.  Got that?  They swapped.  Astrochicks
  • Denise Richards is dating Motley Crue’s Nikki Sixx.  TMZ
  • Nicole Richie explained why she didn’t invite Paris Hilton to her wedding.  Ouch!  Holly Scoop
  • Jessica Simpson’s ex-boyfriend, Tony Romo, is engaged to Candice Crawford (Miss USA and Chace Crawford’s sister).  People
  • Taylor Momsen was dropped from her IMG modeling contract.  Celebrity Dirty Laundry
  • Nicollette Sheridan removed her abuse claim from her Desperate Housewives lawsuit.  Popeater

Naturally Blond Actresses that Go Brown — Who Are They?

I’ve said it once and I’ll say it again — the prettiest brunette will always be prettier than the prettiest blond. Am I biased? — Sure, but I’m the Dishmaster, and I’ll be biased if I want. To prove my point, I’ve compiled a list of actresses that were born blond, but decided to die their hair brown instead. Why? — Because they look better, of course. Enjoy!

SOFIA VERGARA — People often ask me who my girl crushes are, and Sofia is at the top of my list. She’s beautiful with a twist of sass. She confessed that she had trouble getting roles when she moved to the United States from Columbia, and she blamed it on her blond hair.  Once she went brown, she began to book jobs, and the rest is history.

LEIGHTON MEESTER — Just to contradict myself, I’ll admit that Leighton Meester actually looks better as a blond. She died her hair for Gossip Girl, presumably because the producers already had the blond Blake Lively to play Serena, and they saw Leighton’s character as a brunette. She actually died her hair before the audition. I’m posting two pictures of her below, so that you can see the difference and judge for yourself.

JULIA ROBERTS — For much of Julia Roberts’ career I’ve wondered if she was a natural red-head or brunette. It turns out she’s neither. Her natural hair color is actually dirty blond, but she prefers to keep it brown. Personally, I’d like her to keep her red Pretty Woman hair forever, but I don’t suppose she wants to be play the same part for the rest of her life.

AUDRINA PATRIDGE — When I watched Audrina on The Hills, I noticed something strange about her appearance. She didn’t quite look right, and when my friend told me she’s a natural blond, it clicked. Like Leighton, she looks better as a blond. It’s a shame too, because I so badly wanted this post to be about how brunettes rule the world. But you can’t have everything, I guess. To see her with blond hair, click here.

ASHLEE SIMPSON — When Ashlee first broke into the business, she tried very hard to separate herself from Jessica Simpson. That included dying her hair brown, and dressing like a grunge rocker. It didn’t quite work, and she has since changed her image about 500 times. She recently went back to blond, so I’ve posted her with both hair colors. See what you think.

In closing, I’d like to confess that I took some liberties with the word “actress” in the title of this post.  Please forgive me.

Heidi Montag Tells Cynthia McFadden she Regrets Plastic Surgery — Is She Lying? (video)

Heidi Montag sat down with Cynthia McFadden to discuss her insane plastic surgery, and she is singing a much different tune than she initially did. She says she did not feel properly informed by her plastic surgeon, who presented the surgery to her as if he was “selling cookies or something.” Though I’ve always found Heidi Montag moderately compelling, I have trouble believing anything she says. She and Spencer Pratt have masterminded cheap ways to keep their name in the press, and because it’s gotten so manipulative, I wonder if this interview is just another ploy to stay on the air. Although her plastic surgeon died in a car accident and is not alive to defend himself, he did encounter a lot of controversy immediately following Montag’s surgeries, and he said at the time that he didn’t think they were risky procedures and it’s not uncommon to do it all at once. If she’s trashing her dead surgeon’s name to extend her fifteen minutes, I imagine she’ll rot in hell. That being said, I’m in favor of trashing gratuitous plastic surgery. I’d also like to congratulate MTV, who might have had a hand in destroying her life, which they can add to their list of accomplishments, along with destroying Jessica Simpson and Nick Lachey’s marriage. Hats off, folks! Watch the interview below. Perhaps she is being genuine.

Blog Weekly Roundup — Tabloid Review

  • Tony Parker cheated on Eva Longoria with his teammate’s wife.  Astrochicks
  • Kate Winslet and her hot model boyfriend broke up.  Ok! Magazine
  • Teri Hatcher quit Desperate Housewives.  Hollywood Life
  • Lindsay Lohan was replaced in the Linda Lovelace biopic.  Us Magazine
  • Natalie Portman has a great ass.  The Superficial
  • Sean Connery is one of 26 people that have to deposit a $86 million dollar bond as part of a property scam.  Real Bollywood
  • Portia De Rossi refused to be interviewed by men.  Monsters and Critics
  • Britney Spears and Beyonce have something in common: their parents are reuniting.  E! Online
  • Wesley Snipes is going to jail for tax evasion.  Bloginity
  • Jessica Simpson’s fiance isn’t a mootcher after all.  Trending Daily
  • Anne Hathaway admits that actors sometimes have real sex in movies.  Radar Online

Jessica Simpson & Nick Lachey’s Engagement Announcements a Coincidence? — I Smell a Rat

Jessica Simpson and Nick Lachey announced their engagement within days of one another, and Simpson insists that the timing is merely a “coincidence.”  Here’s what I know about announcements in the press — they are never a coincidence.  Remember when Nick Lachey and Jessica Simpson announced their divorce on Thanksgiving day?  Do you think that was because they actually decided on their divorce at that time, or because they knew the press-attack would be at a minimum because entertainment news staffers were all on vacation.  These announcements are always calculated, and they usually come out weeks or even months after the actual event occurred.  My guess is that Jessica became engaged at least one month ago, and Nick Lachey’s engagement pushed her camp into releasing the news earlier than expected.  The press said she was “saddened” by the news, and she insisted she was happy for Nick  She obviously jumped the gun on the announcement because she was so annoyed by her “lonely girl” image  She should have waited, considering even an idiot knows that the close time-frame would lead to the engagements being lumped together.  It’s in poor taste.