David Arquette on David Letterman — Discusses Dancing With the Stars

When you work in Hollywood, you’ll find that most of the people in the business are either gigantically douchey or extremely nice. There is no in between. I’m happy to report that David Arquette is the latter. I met him at a Hollywood shin-dig, and as a massive Howard Stern fan, I could not resist approaching him to compliment his Stern appearances. Arquette was incredibly gracious and down-to-earth, so it makes me happy that he’ll be on Dancing With the Stars this season. Though I think he’s a little too famous for the show, insiders tell me that the stars make a considerable amount of money per episode, and with over 20 million viewers each week, it’s probably a smart career decision for Arquette. Plus, who could argue with good PR on a family show? Watch him discuss the contestants with Letterman.

Gene Simmons’ Family Jewels — The Fakest Show Ever

I just watched two episodes of ‘Gene Simmon’s Family Jewel’s’ (yes, you should feel sorry for me), and it’s safe to say it’s even faker than ‘Keeping Up With the Kardashians.’ When I saw Shannon’s outburst on Joy Behar, I was convinced that they were actually having relationship issues. I must embarrassingly revoke my claim. Joaquin Phoenix once pretended to have a public meltdown, and he told Letterman he was trying to prove how easy it is to dupe people, because it’s shocking how easily people believe these reality shows, especially since reality stars are such terrible actors. The Simmons family is no exception. At one point Gene’s son confronts him about how he treated his mother, saying, “if someone hurt your mother what would you do?” It’s so histrionic that I actually looked away from the screen out of discomfort. I have to remind myself that Gene Simmons is a musician — not an actor.

Howard Stern Moves Show to 3 Days a Week — Devastation Ensues

Howard Stern broke my heart today and I’m not sure I will fully recover.  He announced that, starting next week, he will reduce his show from four days per week to three days per week.  When Stern re-signed with Sirius, he warned listeners that he’d change his schedule, which means this arrangement was negotiated months ago.  My guess is that Stern wanted to keep this announcement a secret until the dust settled on his contract re-negotiation.  I understand that Howard Stern is the only entertainer of his caliber that has to produce this much original content.  Letterman, for example, is on the air for one hour per day, and he has an entire machine behind him. Stern has a much smaller machine, and he’s producing 16 hours of original content per week.  That being said, I’m still devastated.  According to Stern,  “The option was either leave or work a few less days, and I thought it was better to stay on the air.” Yes — I’d prefer to have some of Stern than none of Stern.  But I want all of Stern.  Is that too much to ask?

James Franco and Letterman Share Oscar Horror Stories

James Franco stopped by Letterman to discuss his Oscar hosting failure, and there was no better place to vent. Letterman still jokes about his own failure as an Oscar host, so he clearly empathized with Franco. Franco was very funny during the interview, saying that a lot of people thought he was “under the influence” but he blames Anne Hathaway for the misunderstanding. According to Franco, her energy was so insane, “the Tasmanian devil would look stoned next to her.” Why do I get the strange feeling that James Franco and Anne Hathaway actually hate each other? To be fair to Franco, they were equally bad. But I give him a lot of credit for having a sense of humor about it.

Britney Spears on Jimmy Kimmel — Choreography STILL Not Good Enough

I promise that this is my last post about Britney Spears’ choreography.  I’ve said it twice already, and I’m only saying it a third time in hopes that her people come across this blog and fix the issue.  I have no idea why Britney Spears cannot dance anymore.  I originally thought it was nerves, but I’m starting to think she lost her edge.  I know her album is great, and I’m still a fan.  But there is an astronomical difference in her dance quality from when she first entered the business versus now, and it’s almost bizarre.  Has she forgotten how to dance?  Her choreography is incredibly easy, and her movements still aren’t crisp.  She’s walking around the stage while occasionally moving her arms around.  I’ve always defended her lip-syncing, because it was virtually impossible to sing live while executing her dance-heavy movements, but at this point, there’s no excuse.  Either sing live while surrounded by professional dancers, or actually dance.  It’s one or the other. Watch her appearance on Jimmy Kimmel below, and then watch her vintage David Letterman appearance to see the difference.

Sport’s Illustrated Model Irina Shayk on Letterman — Funny Interview

Irina Shayk appeared on David Letterman last month to promote her Sports Illustrated swimsuit cover, and I just stumbled across the very funny interview.  Forgive me if I’m surprised by a smart model.  I’d also like to point out that I’ve noticed something awry with David Letterman after I’ve religiously watched his interviews.  Though I might be wrong about this, I’m under the impression that he doesn’t think women are funny.  Every time Irina makes a joke, Letterman moves onto the next question, and refused to verbally spar on any level.  In fact, there are moments where I think he’s actually making fun of her. Watch the interview below and judge for yourself.

 

Howard Stern on David Letterman — Proves He’s a Legend

There’s no entertainer that I respect or love more than Howard Stern.  I listen to him daily, and if we weren’t alive at the same time, I would insist I was a reincarnated version of him.  He’s an angst-ridden, neurotic Jew with overbearing parents, and he always says what’s on his mind no matter how controversial.  I often watch his old interviews, and his David Letterman appearances are legendary.  He recently appeared on Letterman to promote the new Sirius phone app, and true to form, he hijacked Letterman’s show.  Because Stern is the greatest interviewer on the planet, he’s incapable of being interviewed himself, and he basically turns every appearance into an extended version of his own radio show.  In the interview below, he told Letterman that his staff needs to stop writing books and producing movies and start focusing on how to beat Jay Leno in the ratings.  He also said that no one gets fired at CBS except for him, and he cited Letterman’s staff member “shenanigans” as an example.  Stern said he asked all the women backstage if they’ve slept with Letterman.  Watch below.  It starts at minute five.

Vintage Interview: Tom Cruise on Letterman

It’s no secret how much I love Tom Cruise. He’s one of my favorite actors in history, and he makes for a great interview. Because I also love David Letterman, you can imagine my happiness when I first watched the interview below. It was taped years ago, and Tom Cruise describes a very funny event when he was piloting an airplane with two friends. He laughs to hard he can barely get through the story. Enjoy!

Conan’s Ratings Dip on Night Two — Duh

There’s been a lot of talk in the media about Conan’s ratings dip on night two, and I’d just like to send a collective “suck it” to all the Negative Nancys out there. It’s obvious that he’d have huge ratings his first night out. People initially tune in because of the insane press coverage for the first show, and then Conan’s regular audience sticks around thereafter. In this case, his regular audience was about 30% of the initial viewing audience, which is pretty good. Sure he came in third against Leno and Letterman, but keep in mind that Leno and Letterman are network shows, and the fact that Conan can even come close to those ratings is pretty pathetic for the Network big-wigs. Cable has less eyeballs, and even with less eyeballs, Conan is a contender. That’s pretty damn good.

Kristen Stewart — The Worst Talk Show Guest Ever

There’s something very funny about Kristen Stewart — and it’s unintentional.  She often appears on talk shows to promote new projects, and she can barely put two sentences together during the interview.  I imagine that she’s insanely nervous, because I can’t think of any other explanation.  I doubt she sits at home and thinks, “I’m going to make Regis and Kelly squirm by only giving them one-word-answers to every question.  Regis and Kelly probably come up with a list of 500 questions for the six minute segment, given that each answer is just two seconds long.  I’ve also seen her on Letterman, and Letterman almost always holds up pictures of various things during her segment to fill the time.  These hosts would be better off booking a Z-lister, who likely would make a better interview.  Watch below — it’s very funny.