If you watch Glee, then you know about Heather Morris. She was hired by Ryan Murphy to teach the cast the choreography for Beyonce’s Single Ladies video, and Murphy was so impressed by her, he hired her as a series regular for the show. If you watch closely during Glee’s dance routines, you’ll notice how Heather Morris outshines the rest of the cast, which was certainly most clear during the Britney tribute week. In the video below, Heather Morris rocks out to some different songs, and her body is hypnotizing. I realize the hypocrisy of this post, given that I often insult the Glee kids for inappropriately sexualizing their images. I’ve made an exception for Heather Morris though. When you’re that good, general rules don’t apply.
Author: The Dishmaster
Audrina Patridge’s New Show — A Poor Man’s Version of ‘The Hills’
Judging from the clip below, Audrina’s new show looks like another peak into the boring lives of depth-less television stars. My patience for reality television is seriously waning (with the exception of Jersey Shore, of course). In the video below, Audrina’s mother apologizes for her drunken rant on Dancing With the Stars, and Audrina completely blows it off and says she doesn’t care what other people think. I’m no expert on alcohol so I might be wrong on this, but her mother looks drunk in the clip, which is ironic because she’s apologizing for her drunken behavior. Am I to seriously believe that Audrina is completely fine with her mother’s actions, and they’re one big happy family? All signs point to no, and unless they plan on taping some kind of intervention for what appears to be alcoholism, I don’t believe a second of that video. Again, I have absolutely no idea if her mother has a drinking problem, but I’m almost certain that this is faux reality hogwash.
Amber Riley Sings Adele’s Someone Like You on her Webcam — Bad Move?
I’ve said this many times on The Dishmaster before, but once you’re on a hit show like Glee, you have to not only create a celebrity mystique, but you must also watch your brand, to ensure that your personal life doesn’t conflict with your character. That brings me to Amber Riley, who covered Adele’s Someone Like You on her webcam. Though I think she has a great voice, I’m fundamentally against this on principle. You’re on an expensive network television show, and your broadcasting a song on your personal webcam inside your apartment. It looks unprofessional and cheap — and you have an image to maintain.
Demi Moore & Ashton Kutcher Discuss Their Love on Piers Morgan — They Annoy Me
Call me a curmudgeon, but I find it extremely irritating when celebrity couples discuss how happy they are. Despite being a love-hater, I’m also superstitious, which means I wouldn’t dare publicly declare my love for someone on national television (or on facebook for that matter) for fear that the relationship will end, and those statements will be etched in time forever. That doesn’t stop Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher though, who have been on a love parade since they got married. Watch a clip of their appearance on Piers Morgan below. Try not to get a cavity from the sugar.
Is Charlie Sheen Being Courted to Return to ‘Two and a Half Men’ — I Guess Yes
Despite everything you read in the press about Charlie Sheen’s Two and a Half Men firing, I’m still 100% convinced CBS wants him back. Though I have no inside information on this one, I know Hollywood — which means I know that it’s ruled by money, and no amount of shenanigans is worth losing hundreds of millions of dollars for. And let’s be clear — Charlie Sheen’s firing will cost CBS that amount of money, because he slaughtered their cash cow. Sure, they could “replace” him, but it will never be the same, and those shows without him will hurt CBS’ syndication money. If I were Les Moonves, I’d take Charlie Sheen back in a second. Yes, he’s crazy. But the combination of Charlie’s 60 million dollar loss, along with CBS’ lost syndication money — makes a perfect match for his return. Crazy or not.
Sarah Lake on 20/20 — Still Won’t Keep Quiet About Black Swan
Oh Sarah Lake . . . you still don’t get it. I’ll explain it to you again so that you understand why your behavior is inappropriate. It’s absolutely none of your business if the movie studio wants to portray Natalie Portman as a ballerina. You were hired to be her dance-double, and you did your job. Now be done with it. To go on national television and expose who really did all the dancing is ridiculous and unprofessional. In the interview below, Lake explains that she’s discussing the issue because she wants to “stand up for the art form,” so people don’t think they can become a professional ballet dancer in a year and a half. Here’s the problem — no one thinks that. And what if they do think that? What’s the harm? If I think I can become a professional ballet dancer in a year, then maybe I’ll take up the sport and get in shape while trying. Maybe more people will become interested in ballet, which only helps the art form. But if I’m convinced that it takes me 20 years, then why bother? Get my point Ms. Lake? Learn the business of Hollywood before you run your mouth.
R.I.P. All My Children — I’ll Remember You Always
Though I’m not a soap opera fan, I have a special place in my heart for All My Children, because my mother watched it religiously while I was growing up. She’d tape it on VHS (remember those?) and sometimes sit for hours in front of the television to catch up on the episodes she missed. At one point, I became addicted too, and it was right around the time Tad returned from his death and went to find Dixie. It took weeks for them to finally reconnect, and I was dying for Dixie to find out that the love her life never really died after all. Can you believe Tad had amnesia and couldn’t remember her? I’ll never forget the great moments with Erika Kane, played by the unforgettable Susan Lucci. I also vividly remember a much curvier Kelly Ripa, who fell in love with her husband, Mark Consuelos on the show. I loved that show — and I’m sad to see it go. But television has changed, and soap operas were targeted to stay-at-home mothers. With the change in both tradition and the economy, those moms aren’t at home anymore — so the ratings suffered. Goodbye All My Children. I’ll love you forever.
Courtney Cox Appears on Howard Stern — I Officially Love Her
For months, David Arquette has insisted to Howard Stern that Courtney Cox loves him, and she would appear on his show if not for her team of people advising her against it. Today marks the official day that Courtney Cox pushed her team aside to appear on the greatest show in the history of entertainment. She surprised Howard Stern to finally discuss her side of their marriage ending, and there were some great revelations. Stern asked Courtney why she rejected David’s sexual advances at Disney World, and Courtney said it “just wasn’t the appropriate time” and she “didn’t want to confuse the issue.” She also said that part of the problem in their relationship was that David could never emotionally console her without “getting a boner.” David accused her of “just being over him” and then said, “it’s time to move on.” Courtney replied with, “wow, that’s heavy.” She also said that even though he wants her back he seems happier now that he’s single. Stern didn’t seem to help the situation, insisting to Arquette that it’s “over and Courtney doesn’t want [him] anymore.” My favorite part of the interview was when Stern asked Courtney if it would freak her out if David dated Jennifer Aniston and she said, “yes, that would freak me out.” Stern then told David, “you gotta do it.” Overall, I’m still not sure if David and Courtney have any chance of reuniting, but I am definitely sure that I love Courtney Cox. Any girl who can air their dirty laundry on Howard Stern, is a cool chick. Listen to audio from the interview below.
Karina Smirnoff Poses Naked for Playboy — What’s the Point?
I’m a huge fan of Playboy. I grew up in a house with Playboy magazines on the coffee table, and I read it for the articles (no, I’m not kidding). That being said, I have absolutely no idea why Karina Smirnoff would pose for the magazine. She’s already famous from Dancing With the Stars, and this will do nothing to elevate her career. Did she get paid a huge sum of cash? And please don’t tell me she wants to celebrate nudity — because it will pain me to respond. When you’re navigating your career in the business, every choice you make must be strategic. You cannot shoot from the hip, which seems to be happening here. Playboy is a vehicle for hot chicks that are struggling to get noticed, not for people already famous. Yes, Marilyn Monroe did it — but that was a different time. These shoots don’t get the same attention they used to.
Kobe Bryant Apologizes for Homophobic Slur . . . Sort Of
There’s a very interesting tactic used by celebrities when they apologize for a mishap. They simply say, “I didn’t mean to offend anyone,” which is code for “I’m not sorry.” Kobe Bryant was caught on camera during a Lakers game calling someone a “f*gg*t,” and here’s his exact apology: “What I said last night should not be taken literally. My actions were out of frustration during the heat of the game, period. The words expressed do NOT reflect my feelings towards the gay and lesbian communities and were NOT meant to offend anyone.” This reminds me of the many fights I’ve had with ex-boyfriends who try to worm their way out of an apology with, “I’m sorry if I offended you.” How about you instead say, “I’m sorry for being an a*shole,” which would be much more accurate. I’d like to also point out to Kobe that when I’m in the heat of the moment and extremely angry, I don’t have any desire to yell out bigoted slurs — but that’s just me.