I watched Good Will Hunting for the fiftieth time last night, and something occurred to me. Matt Damon’s character was an intellectual superhero. He didn’t have a batsuit, and he certainly couldn’t stop a train with his bare hands. His likability was based solely on smarts. There’s a scene in a bar where Ben Affleck hits on a girl, and a Harvard graduate makes him feel stupid. Damon comes to the rescue on his best friend’s behalf, but instead of punching the guy in the face in a well-choreographed fist-fight, he intellectually belittles him, and says “you dropped a hundred and fifty grand on a fuckin’ education you coulda’ got for a dollar fifty in late charges at the Public Library.” So here’s my question — would you rather date Will Hunting or Spiderman, and have there been any intelligent superheros since? If you take that rubber suit off, do you think Batman even knows how to multiply?
Jim Carrey’s is the Black Swan on SNL — Confirms He’s Brilliant
I’ve never been a massive Saturday Night Live fan. I didn’t stay home on Saturdays in high school to watch it, and I never find myself actually laughing out loud at the skits. But when Jim Carrey appeared as the Black Swan, I almost choked on my apple (alright — it was potato chips — I don’t eat apples but I thought I’d lie for just a moment). When I first saw Black Swan I was moderately impressed, and then I talked to this guy at work who waxed-on about how terrible it was. He convinced me. I’d tell you why, but I haven’t figured out how to write my review without spoiling the entire movie. So in an effort to express my point without ruining the film, please watch the skit below, because Jim Carrey explains it so I don’t have to.
Did Britney Spears Rip-Off The Bellamy Brothers? — NO!!
The Bellamy Brothers accused Britney Spears of ripping off their song, and their claim is laughable. I’ve definitely accused artists of ripping off other artists on my blog, but that’s certainly not what happened here. The only similarity involves one lyric, and I won’t even repeat it because I’m too lazy to look it up. First of all, the best way to get your washed up name in the press is to mention someone more famous than yourself. In fact, perhaps I should sue Britney Spears for ripping off the song that I sing in the shower every day. Oops — I sing Britney Spears music in the shower — so that doesn’t work. As an aside, Britney’s new song is predictably amazing, so listen below. And since I’m feeling generous, I’ve decided to also post the Bellamy Brother’s song, despite the obvious hypocrisy of giving them attention.
Anne Hathaway Impersonates Katie Holmes on SNL — Nails It!
There’s a rumor floating around that Katie Holmes is pissed about Anne Hathaway’s Saturday Night Live impersonation of her. TomKat’s camp denies this, but since they didn’t publicly say it was funny, I’m guessing they hated it. The impression is so dead-on accurate, I think Anne Hathaway actually did Katie Holmes a major favor. Pehaps she should take the time to study the impression so she can figure out why she comes off so strange in interviews. Watch below. It starts around the three minute mark.
CT v. Johnny — The Greatest Moment in Real World/Road Rules History
I stopped watching the Real World/Road Rules challenges many seasons ago, mostly because MTV started casting douchebags, and the show became boring and painful. But when I’ve run out of mindless television, I make an exception. This time around, I’m glad I did. If you’re a fan of the series, then you’ve heard of a certain infamous individual named Chris Tamburello (or “CT”). He’s infamous because he’s been kicked off the show multiple times for fighting, and at one point it looked like he might actually kill his fellow cast member. He’s my favorite cast member, because I’m superficial and he looks like a Calvin Klein model. Also, I have a soft place in my heart for the bad boy who falls in love — and he had a very touching story with a fellow cast member with cancer. Alright, enough with the schmaltz. During the last challenge, CT was called in as a “surprise guest” to battle someone they call “Johnny Bananas.” The clip below might be the greatest moment in reality television history. Not only did he embarrass him but he . . . actually — just watch it. I don’t want to spoil anything. Let’s just say CT’s new nickname may be The Terminator.
The Challenge: Cutthroat – MTV Shows
Is Michael Franti the New Cat Stevens?
Someone once told me that I’m either extremely self-deprecating or extremely self-aggrandizing — there’s no in between. Having said that, I am about to toot my own horn. I think of myself of having an ear for music, despite my inability to play any instrument. In fact, I once bought a very expensive guitar and signed up for lessons, but when my teacher told me to strum I was too embarrassed and immediately quit. Fear not, though! I’ve decided to use this musical ear for the purpose of my very successful blog, and I’ve chosen to highlight two singers, who I think sound extremely similar. Those singers are Michael Franti and Cat Stevens. If you haven’t heard of Michael Franti, listen to his biggest hit below, Say Hey (I Love You). If you haven’t heard of Cat Stevens, throw yourself off a cliff. Franti sounds most like Stevens in his song below, Have a little Faith. For your enjoyment, I’ve also attached Stevens’ song, Moonshadow. If you can’t follow my very confusing road-map, just start clicking random buttons in this post, and I’m sure you will eventually figure it out.
Cat Stevens – Moonshadow by mutluturka
Michael Franti and Spearhead – Say Hey (I Love You) by Mindy Jenks
Tabloid Gossip — Week in Review
- Ally McBeal’s Jane Krakowski is pregnant. E! Online
- Eva Longoria’s Las Vegas restaurant went bankrupt. I recommend she just endorse products instead. It’s a lot less work for a lot more money. Actually, isn’t she the ice-cream girl in Europe? Backseat Cuddler
- In news that no one saw coming, Taylor Swift and Jake Gyllenhaal broke up. People
- Tsunami survivor and model, Petra Nemcova, found love again and is engaged. Love Tripper
- The Kardashians face a $75 million lawsuit over the failed credit they endorsed. Styleite
- Mila Kunis and Macaulay Culkin split after eight years together. In more surprising news, Mila Kunis was dating Macaulay Culkin for the last eight years. Who knew? Entertainment Weekly
- Christina Milian discussed her very public divorce from The Dream (or “The Nightmare” — why has no one else thought of that joke?). MTV
- LeAnn Rimes got a $85,000 engagement ring from Eddie Cibrian just after he lowered his child support payments. Pop Crunch
- Victoria Beckham is pregnant with her fourth child. Something tells me it will be another boy. Hollyscoop
- Lea Michele wasn’t very nice to the adorable Hailee Steinfeld — be careful who you snub — you never know when they’ll do an interview about you being a jerk. Babble
- Zac Efron and Vanessa Hudgens might be back together. To quote the great Jerry Seinfeld, “the first one never takes.” Alright, that was mean — I wish them the best. Celebuzz
- Amanda Seyfried and Ryan Phillippe had their first public kiss. In related news, I think Ryan prefers blonds, which means I’m out of the running. Pop Sugar
- Kelsey Grammer didn’t have a pre-nup. Us Magazine
Howard Stern on Kathie Lee Gifford’s Song: “She’s The World’s Dumbest Person”
Every so often Howard Stern picks on Kathie Lee Gifford, and it’s always radio magic. Here’s his current rant in a nutshell: Kathie Lee graciously took the time on The Today Show to acknowledge the “good deed” of a popular kid in high school who sat at an unpopular kid’s lunch table. Apparently, the unpopular kid is autistic, and Kathie Lee wrote a song on his behalf about being lonely and having no friends. Howard Stern jumped all over this debacle, calling Kathie Lee’s song “God Awful,” and saying it’s akin to “child abuse.” The kid even cried during the performance, which Kathie Lee attributed to her song’s moving quality, and Howard Stern attributed to calling this kid a loser on national television. Have I mentioned that I love Howard Stern? I would highly encourage you to listen to his rant below. I’d bet my two dollar bank account that you will laugh hysterically.
Jersey Shore Season 2.5 — Filmed 5 Months Ago
The new season of Jersey Shore debuts tonight, and it’s been five months in the making. Television networks usually try to debut the show relatively close to the time it was taped — but not MTV. I’m guessing they taped the show during the summer in New Jersey (because it was warm) and decided to air it after the new year for ratings purposes. Whatever the reason, I find it a bit annoying that it’s so delayed. All of the press coverage regarding the show already occurred, such as Sammi quitting the show when she watched Ronnie cheat on her in Miami. Hasn’t it been almost a year since Ronnie cheated? Will this really be fresh news when the episode airs? Alright, who am I kidding? I love Jersey Shore!
Adam Levine Poses Naked — Proves He’s In Love With Himself
There’s only two singers I’ve stopped listening to solely because of their terrible personalities. If you read my blog, you could easily guess that the lucky singers are Adam Levine and John Mayer. I stopped listening to John Mayer when he began to act ridiculous in interviews, and the Jessica Simpson debacle officially put the fork in him. I banned Adam Levine for just about the same reason. I’m aware that he’s only one member of an entire band, but he’s annoying enough for me to cut off Maroon 5 as a whole. He’s in love with himself, and his new naked ad is no exception. I’ve pulled a quote for your enjoyment. Levine said, “I spend most of my life naked. In fact, I often have to be told by the people around me that it’s inappropriate to be as naked as I am. But I live in California, where it’s always warm, so why not?” First of all Adam, I also live in California, and I can assure you that I wore a very heavy jacket today because it’s too cold for nudity. Second, aren’t you secretly a dorky Jewish guy that couldn’t get laid for most of your teenage life? I don’t know for sure — but I’m guessing. Maybe I just get angry when the Jewish guys date blond chicks — because you know — us Jewish brunettes are more attractive.
