I think it’s safe to say that Jacob Lusk should start to pack his bags. In case you missed his performance on American Idol tonight, I’ll educate you on his major misstep. In the video before his song, Jacob explained why he chose to sing Man in the Mirror, and he said, “if I end up in the bottom three it won’t be because I sang the song bad . . . it will be because everybody in America wasn’t ready to look at themselves in the mirror.” No — I’m not kidding. He actually said that. I’m sure I don’t need to articulate why this is ridiculous, but I’ll do it anyways in case Jacob is reading this. Jacob will go home tomorrow, not because I didn’t want to look in the mirror (in fact, I do that all the time). He’ll go home because he butchered a Michael Jackson song. I’d also like to add that Simon Cowell would never have let Jacob get away with that video. He would have mentioned it during his critique. This show is dead without him. Watch Jacob’s performance below.
Tag: Jennifer Lopez
‘Idol’s’ Paul McDonald — The Best of the Night — Judges are Nuts
I just got around to watching last night’s American Idol and, true to form, I became enraged. I disagreed with the judges on every single performance. Because I try to be a positive Dishmaster (no — I’m not kidding), I will only point out who I liked that judges did not, instead of listing every single singer that the judges like, who I thought were God awful. During the judges’ critique of Paul McDonald they insulted his suit (which I liked) and they told him he needed to “go further” with his voice (which is ridiculous). Not every contestant on American Idol needs to engage in vocal gymnastics to be impressive. I might stop watching this show altogether, for fear of destroying my television. Watch Paul McDonald sing Elton John’s Rocket Man below. He was my favorite of the night, with Casey Abrams coming in a close second. I keep my mouth shut on the rest.
American Idol Judges Save Casey Abrams — He Gets to Go on Tour
When the judges saved Casey Abrams tonight on American Idol, the real importance is not that he gets to stay in the competition, it’s that he gets to go on tour. Usually only the top ten Idol contestants tour the country, but because the judges saved Casey Abrams, all 11 of the current contestants are included in the tour. So why is this such a big deal? Because Casey Abrams just got guaranteed some serious cash. Idol contestants make a six-figure salary up front, plus an additional percentage of the ticket sales. That’s a lot of money, and judging from Casey Abrams reaction tonight, he’s certainly appreciative. At one point I thought he might pass out, leaving Ryan Seacrest to hold him up — or topple over. Watch the video below to see his reaction.
Casey Abrams Butchers Nirvana Song on ‘Idol’ — Kurt Cobain is Crying
Because I’ve stopped watching American Idol this season, it only makes sense that I’d come across Casey Abrams’ performance of Smells Like Teen Spirit via the brilliant Joel McHale, who tore it apart on The Soup. I’ve been told by a close friend that my blog has become “too negative” and all I can say is that someone has to point this out, and I’m the fortunate volunteer. To be fair, most of the performances on that night were pretty terrible, because the theme was “the year you were born,” which has always proven to be a disaster for the Idol contestants. When I first saw the video below, I had to see what the judges said, and it’s official — they are completely crazy. They actually liked the performance. Bring back Simon Cowell.
Jennifer Lopez Misses The Paley Center’s American Idol Panel — Back to her Diva Ways?
Whenever a notable part of a show neglects to show up for an important appearance, I can’t help but question their mysterious absence. At last night’s Paley Center panel for American Idol, Jennifer Lopez was a no show. This was particularly strange because the other two judges were in attendance, and one of those judges includes the legendary Steven Tyler. So is the question-and-answer session good enough for Steven Tyler and not Jennifer Lopez? My guess is that Jennifer Lopez thinks the appearance is beneath her and therefore decided not to show. This is a dangerous assumption, but I feel it’s a relatively safe guess. Why? Because not one person mentioned the elephant in the room. If she had some sort of important personal commitment, I’m confident that the moderator would have explained it, so as to make her look better. Things only go unexplained when there’s guilt afoot.
American Idol Performances Not Live — Are the Producers Incompetent?
Fox announced that this week’s American Idol will be pre-taped because there is a “new director and new judges, and it has nothing to do with manipulation.” Though I agree that this has nothing to do with manipulation, I’m certain it has everything to do with incompetence. It takes a lot of skill to produce a live show, and pre-taping it is a cop-out way of saying they can’t execute the task. Furthermore, the essence of American Idol’s brand is that it’s a live show, so this is preposterous. I’d like to also add that I feel terrible for the audience this week, because if you ever gone to a non-live show taping, then you know it’s absolute torture to sit through five hours of taping for a one hour show. To put things in perspective, they often don’t even let you leave to pee. Yeah — you heard me.
American Idol Recap — The Judges Are Crazy
I admit that this season’s American Idol is like a train wreck I can’t turn away from. Every time someone performs, I yearn for Simon Cowell, especially when the judges are elated with a wretched performance. Where is Simon to call these performers “indulgent” and “boring.” As an example, I’m posting a video of Haley Reinhart, whose performance was so cheesy, I thought that she might have practiced it in front of a mirror imagining she was in a strip club. I hate to be so rude, but watch below and judge for yourself. Too mean?
Jennifer Lopez Cries on American Idol — Has a Heart After All
For years Jennifer Lopez has fought her difficult-diva-reputation in Hollywood. It’s impossible to decipher whether she’s actually a demanding celebrity, or whether she’s surrounded by a team of people with ridiculous demands on her behalf. Sometimes actors are completely unaware that their teams make them look bad, and by the time they figure it out, the damage has been done in the press. When Lopez decided to take the judge job on American Idol, I was initially against it. I thought her star-power was too big for the show, and it would ruin her brand. After watching the clip below, I’ve changed my mind. Lopez had to reject a contestant with a heart-breaking back-story, and she didn’t take it well. After the rejection, she cried (you know — the ugly cry where you’re embarrassed for people to look at you) and told Randy Jackson and Stephen Tyler that she felt “she didn’t say it the right way” and she just “didn’t want to say no.” It’s fair to say that I officially like Jennifer Lopez, and I think it was a good choice to judge American Idol. It chisels away her ice-queen reputation (pun intended), and it makes her likable.
Ricky Gervais Defends Himself to Piers Morgan — Makes Sense!
Would you judge me if I admitted I’m attracted to Ricky Gervais? Sure, he’s openly gay, but it wouldn’t be the first time I’ve liked a gay man. Okay, it was high school — don’t judge. So why the attraction? Because, as you can see from the video below, Gervais won’t cower to the criticism about his Golden Globes performance. He insists he did nothing wrong, saying that if he kissed celebrity ass instead, it would be “nauseating.” I completely agree. First, what do you expect when you hire Gervais for the job? And second, most celebrities are raging narcissists with no sense of humor. So it’s only fitting to take them down a peg.
UPDATE: Well, this is embarrassing. Ricky Gervais isn’t gay. The kind commenter below pointed out that he’s had the same girlfriend for the last 29 years. Next time I make a personal confession on my blog, I’ll be sure to do my research.
Jennifer Lopez Threatens Ricky Gervais — Admits She’s Humorless
Jennifer Lopez wasn’t pleased with Ricky Gervais at the Golden Globes, saying that there was an uncomfortable silence in the room while he was telling his jokes. And Lopez had no problem threatening Gervais directly. Upon seeing him backstage, she said, ‘Listen! I will kill you, you understand, I am from New York, my husband fights, we both fight, we will beat you up after the show … with a couple of bleep bleeps in there.” First of all, I imagine that the Lopez wasn’t sitting at the “fun table,” during the show, so it doesn’t surprise that her friends are also humorless. Second, if you can’t take a joke, then don’t go to an awards show hosted by Ricky Gervais. Having said that, I fear for Gervais, who would likely lose in a throw-down with Jennifer Lopez.
